Thursday, May 29, 2008


The Computers are back up but I do not know for how long! Here is part II of yesterday's blog.

I started going to Church, although I don't remember going to Confession. I ended my career in child care for a 'real job' at (name of company removed). I found new friends, many of whom I still keep in contact. This continued for 6 years as I was slowly rebuilt. But God knew I had to get out of Columbus in order to continue my spiritual growth. The company was bought, divided, and pieces-parts sold off. the new parent comapny then crashed into a financial tailspin, caused by the upper management. Many of us lost our jobs. I moved to Cleveland to live with family and collected unemployment checks - a very humbling experience.

I would walk to church for daily and Sunday Mass and would often talk with Fr. M. and other parishioners. I was being drawn back to the Church. I finally landed a job, bought a house a year later, and registered at a parish.

I remember my first confession in years... the night before I happened to turn on EWTN. Fr. Corapi was talking about sins and the 10 Commandments. Within an hour I discovered that I sinned against every Commandment...some multiple times! That night I made my laundry list of sins and went to the Cathedral that morning. I walked into the Confessional, knelt down (actually hiding from the Priest because I couldn't face anyone with these sins!...even God), and wept! In between the tears, a sin would be voiced, and a kleenex box would appear from the other side of the screen. I don't remember what my penance was...I just remember hearing 'that was a good examination of conscience' and 'I absolve you from all of your sins'. I was walking on clouds when I left the Confessional! Mass was amazing that day! I had never felt so close to our Lord.

I started going to Adoration and soon signed up for a weekly Holy Hour. I read the Bible, books on Saints, Epistles, prayer books, and the Catechism of the Catholic Church, all provided by the parish for their Adoration Chapel. The more I read, the more I wanted to read. I found Pierced by a Sword at home and started reading. I remember my mom telling me about it and highly recommended the book but I had always ignored the hint...until now. I couldn't put the book down! I think I read it cover-to-cover in a weekend! This book changed my life! I felt myself being called closer to God but unsure in which direction.

After reading an article on Spirit Daily, I did some research on becoming a Consecrated Virgin. I emailed the Associate Pastor at the parish but never got a response and soon he was transferred to another parish. I started talking with friends about people they knew in a religious life. I visited Shrines and other Catholic Churches around Cleveland. I also researched St. Maximillian Kolbe, Militia Immaculata, and emailed the Diocese about the process of becoming a Consecrated Virgin.
The yearning for our Lord was growing stronger. I consecrated myself to Mary through the Militia Immaculata in September and found a Militia group on the west side of Cleveland and started attending the meetings. We prayed and studied Will to Love, daily reflections by St. Maximillian Kolbe. I felt drawn to St. Max and discovered that his feast day and my birthday were the same day! What a blessing!

I still heard nothing from the Cleveland Diocese regarding becoming a Consecrated Virgin, so I figured this was not the route our Lord wanted me to take. There was an ad in the bulletin for a Scott Hahn Bible Study on Mary and joined that with my parents. For the next 10 weeks my parents and I went to Our Lady of Lourdes Shrine on Sunday nights to study our Heavenly Mother. I got to know some of the Sisters at the Shrine - they all seemed sane - not at all like Sr. Patricia.One of the Sisters asked me what I wanted out of a religious vocation. I had never thought about this. So I did some additional research and started making a list. From what I discovered, there were many orders that were not following the Magisterium - this was a must for me. So I then started revising my list in to the 'Must-haves'. When I was finished, there were 3:
1. Must be fully habited, including the veil. If I was going to join a religious order, I wanted people to know.
2. The Order must be faithful to the Magisterium, Teachings, and Traditions.
They also must have a Charism of the Most Hly Trinity, Mary our Heavenly Mother, and
3. Apostolate of Education.

This narrowed my search quite a bit - especially the full habit criteria. I discovered that most of the orders that do not wear habits also do not follow all of the Teachings & Traditions of the Catholic Faith. Now I had to decide what type of Order I was looking for - monastic, cloister, charity, service, etc. Monastic and Cloister were eliminated quickly because my vocal ability is lacking tonality and my ability to be silent was hindered by my ever-running brain to which I must then voice my thoughts.

I talked with several Orders and visited several communities in the Cleveland area. I researched my criteria on the internet and found 3 Orders that I was deeply interested in:
The Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity, Euclid, OH
Society of Our Lady and the Most Holy Trinity (SOLT), TX
Sisters of Reparation to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus
No matter which Order/Community I visited, I was always led back to the Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity. Although all of the other Orders are remarkable and the Sisters, amazing, I felt at home with the Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity. This is where God has been leading me...this is where He is asking me to call home.
If you have any questions or thoughts for L.M., especially if you are contemplating a religous vocation, please feel free to contact her through this site.


Anonymous said...

Thank you so much for your story LM! It's very generous of you to reveal such intimate details of your life!

Anonymous said...

Awesome journey, L.M.! An awesome future, too--it's all so exciting!

Indeed, thank you for sharing!


Adoro said...

LM, you know I've been watching all this with interest, and I thank you for being so willing to share your trials. I have no doubt it will be helpful to someone else! God bless you!

Liz said...

i'm glad you think wearing a full habit is necessary. i totally agree.

Anonymous said...

Thanks all! The closer I get to starting my Postulancy, the more excited I get. This Easter Season & Post Easter Season has been truly marked with special blessings for me. Masses mean so much more... and I'm usually tearing up (although I try hard to hide it).

Anonymous said...

I had the blessed opportunity to get to know the sisters and attend information weekends at their motherhouse. Yes, their order is my favorite and I longed to count myself one of them. Their warm postulancy floor is empty. I pray the Lord bless your vocation. I would have had one, but thanks to the Catholic Diocese, I cannot even contemplate it further. They refuse to grant me an annulment. Imagine that. Such a goofy world we live in. It is not like people are lining up outside convents today willing to give themselves to God's people. I remain at a loss and depressed about it. The dear Malagasi sister you have pictured returned home to her country, or so I understand. DL

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