Eeek!
From this point Mrs. Fenner gets into wedding
etiquette. I just can’t do it. It would be like facing another presidential campaign. I don’t have the heart. Describing the engagement part alone seems to
me as daunting as painting the hull of
a battleship in my pajamas as it floats in a rough see in January near the Artic Circle. But there is one part that piqued my
interest: How to make your wedding more
Catholic.
Mrs. Fenner does not say it but we’ll rush right in and say
first; don’t do things at your wedding service or Mass that are not Catholic
and are not part of our Tradition or tradition or are not part of your cultural
background. Having such things as the
“jumping of the broom” and the “sand ceremony” and the terrible “unity candle” ceremony
(with which there are so many problems I will not even write about it again but
you can find more here) just add repetition, time stalling ceremonies, and
conflicting or competitive symbols.
A wedding Mass may or may not be most appropriate. This is a time of unification. If one family is largely not Catholic it
might be more wise not to have a Mass at which a large percentage of the people
will be asked in one manner or another to not come forward during
Communion. But if both families are
Catholic, by all means have a Mass.
Bearing in mind that a couple is engaging in a sacrament
when they marry, symbols of the sacrament may be used. The most common is the interlocking rings
combined with a cross. These may be used
on the program or even the invitation.
This and other Catholic/Christian symbols may also be used on the
wedding cake. “The foolish
bide-and-groom dolls or orange blossoms which usually decorate a wedding cake
are symbols,” writes Mrs. Fenner, “although we seldom think of them as such
because too-frequent use has rendered them almost meaningless.”
A worship aid may also be used. It should not simply be a list of characters
such as is found at the end of a movie, but of true use. What is going on? Who may go to Communion? What is done next? What does it mean? Where do I find the hymn?
Wedding rings might engraved on the inside of the band with
a short Scripture passage. Flowers may
take on significant meaning. For
example, roses are the most common and are symbolic of Mary. Traditionally red is for the sorrowful
mysteries of the rosary, yellow for the glorious, and white for the joyful.
There are some ceremonies that, while not part of the
liturgy of the Church, are somewhat acceptable.
One is the visit to the Mary altar by the bride (and groom) during the
singing of the Ave Maria. Generally a
rose is left at her altar as a token of that prayer. Since it is not a part of the actual ceremony
it should almost seem as though it were a spontaneous act on the part of the
couple overcome with joy and moved by the singing of this Marian hymn. Therefore it should not be announced, “NOW
THE BRIDE WILL BE GOING OVER TO THE MARY STATUE TO . . .” Rather, when the hymn is sung (maybe as a
reflection after Communion,) the bride simply stands, walks over to the chapel
and prays, leaves a rose, and returns to her seat before the end of the song.
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