Is there something in your life that you have been working on? Maybe something like anger, or impatience, or something along those lines. Has what you’ve been doing not working? You are not a lost cause! Try something different (always in addition to prayer.)
Let us say, for example, that you are dealing with anger. Every now and then (or perhaps more now than then) you find yourself dealing with the result of having expressed rather boldly your anger. You want to stop this so you work on not blowing up. If whatever technique you are using doesn’t work, try this: Instead of only focusing on the mountains, take a good crack at the molehills. Don’t write off small perturbations as not all that important. Just as foothills lead to mountain ranges, little moments of irritation pile on top of each other leading to the stress that provides the right atmosphere for an explosion. They are the practicing grounds of anger and the foundation stones of rationalizations.
So the computer is taking a long time to start up (as mine did today) take the opportunity to practice not being bothered by it. Breathe. Calm your thoughts. Know that it is out of your control and relax. You’re a caught in traffic. Practice letting go of things beyond your control. You can be caught in traffic and remain calm (say a rosary – get a book on tape – pull off and get a cup of coffee – find what works for you) or you can get caught in traffic AND be angry.
If you are impatient practice patience in the line at the grocery store. Find a way to be happy being with yourself when there are no other distractions. Stay behind someone going slowly on the highway (at a safe distance) and offer it up. Notice how it did not take that much longer to get to your exit – and how much better you feel giving up that extra ten seconds as if they were owed to you instead of being angry at the idiot driver in front of you. You can be held up and impatient, or you can be held up and be constructive – even if it just thinking or observing.
Much of the greatest harm comes into the world because people cannot sit in a chair and just breathe twenty five times. (This is one reason why holy hours are so beneficial.) So like skiing, practice on the bunny hills so that you can build up to the double black diamonds.