This is a short post today in hopes that you read it and remember it (tuck it away somewhere in your memory banks.) 
Q: Do you know why undertakers are called undertakers?
A: Because they under take many things for the family so that they do not have to worry about it.
You have plenty to worry about and take care of when a loved one dies. We pay people in this noble profession which is one of the corporal acts of charity to assist us by taking some of the cares out of our hands. Being dead may not be complicated in the least – but being a person responsible for someone who has died is extremely complicated.
I hope this is the case where you are and it is certainly the case in at least every part of the Diocese of Cleveland with which I am familiar. Your undertaker (a name that has unfortunately been dropped but is of infinite value in understanding what this person does) will (or should) contact the parish for you and settle the Mass times and etc. Often they will also have materials on hand to help you make some decisions about the Mass so ask. From that point there might need to be some direct contact with the parish to set an appointment if discussion needs to be had about certain details.
There has been a rash of people of late who seem to understand this less and less and burying someone you love is (hopefully) a rare occurrence so I hope that this helps.
Q: Do you know why undertakers are called undertakers?
A: Because they under take many things for the family so that they do not have to worry about it.
You have plenty to worry about and take care of when a loved one dies. We pay people in this noble profession which is one of the corporal acts of charity to assist us by taking some of the cares out of our hands. Being dead may not be complicated in the least – but being a person responsible for someone who has died is extremely complicated.
I hope this is the case where you are and it is certainly the case in at least every part of the Diocese of Cleveland with which I am familiar. Your undertaker (a name that has unfortunately been dropped but is of infinite value in understanding what this person does) will (or should) contact the parish for you and settle the Mass times and etc. Often they will also have materials on hand to help you make some decisions about the Mass so ask. From that point there might need to be some direct contact with the parish to set an appointment if discussion needs to be had about certain details.
There has been a rash of people of late who seem to understand this less and less and burying someone you love is (hopefully) a rare occurrence so I hope that this helps.
5 comments:
I never realized how much undertakers/funeral directors do until my own father passed away a few years ago. The family that runs the funeral home are members of my mom's parish and already knew my folks which made it even easier.
Are you suggesting that when someone dies in a parish their family should not be talking to their priest? It's rather how this comes across...
I don't think Father is suggesting anyone bypass his or her parish priest. The funeral director can help get the necessary details of the funeral mass settled so your communication with the priest can focus on your grieving and spiritual matters.
The funeral director helped set the time for the funeral and told us what details we would need to decide upon. (Not entirely necessary in our case since my mom has played the organ for hundreds if not thousands of funerals in her lifetime.) Other funeral directors might be more involved in planning the mass than the one we worked with. Considering how insanely busy priests are these days it is understandable.
Michelle,
I apologize to you or anyone else that may have gotten that idea from this post. It was meant to releave those who experience the death of a loved one and has NO idea what to do or they DO have an idea and the task seems daunting: notifying the parish, scheduling Mass and vigil prayers, making sure those times are in the obit, schduling the reception at the cemetary, making sure that you have the Catholic burial permit, that a priest is able to go to the cemetery etc. etc. etc. All that you pay someone to do for you so that we do not have to worry about so that if you want to call the priest you can discuss more important things than these.
Dear Fr. V --
Thank you for the clarity. Yes, the relief from those details is a great grace. Having had (at age 29) to manage the funeral of my husband, I needed all the help I could get, both practical and spiritual.
But it was also good to have had to go to the parish to discuss the details of the funeral liturgy, since otherwise I might not have had the strength to pick up the phone to call the priests. It was a pretty big shock...
Post a Comment