
In truth there is no such thing as a private sin. And this sin reaches dramatically beyond the bedroom (or office) door. Here is just a partial list:
The person viewing is radically turning inward (as opposed to marriage which is to radically turn us toward “the other.”) When he is watching porn the man is not thinking of his wife and family, he is not thinking of the woman in the movie who likely did not grow up thinking that this was the lifestyle she dreamed of and is proud to tell her family about. Even if it is “free” porn he perpetuates the system that feeds on these women that it eventually throws away – who now turns to the very society that used her to help her. It is all about meeting the desires of the man.

It ruins marriages. Men tend to compartmentalize. He can put porn into a drawer and pretend to separate it from the rest of his life. Women, according to Dr. Kleponis, see life more as a bucket of water and porn a drop of ink. It spreads and colors everything. That is why women tend to see it as something worse than men and why men, particularly those struggling with porn, sometimes do not register it as something as severe. So women see this as a betrayal and something against which they must compete and images against which they could never compare.
It perpetuates lying and deceit as the man tries to hide his porn use. (If you have to hide it, there is something wrong in a relationship where you are supposed to be one flesh.) This leads to damage in communication. All this together can lead to divorce which has a nasty effect sociologically and economically on the family, particularly the children, and on society in general. It ALWAYS harms marriage in some way.
It is ALWAYS damaging to faith. Faith calls us to see the dignity of the human person. All of them. Even those who voluntarily throw it away. To miss this is to miss out on one of the primary tenants of the faith that Jesus came here to teach as necessary to salvation. It is your sister (or brother) that you are turning into a commodity. As John Paul II said it is not that porn reveals too much of the person. It is that it reveals too little. It reduces a person to their organs and skin to be used and thrown away.

For the man who is addicted it can seriously harm his feelings of self worth and his male confidence. The viscous circle being the thing that makes him feel better temporarily is the very thing that throws him deeper into despair. We do not have to wonder what it is like when men are no longer men in their families and neighborhoods. Weak, ineffectual, and/or absent husbands and fathers lead to a breakdown in our social fabric.

4 comments:
Wow, great post! Very informative and thought provoking.
You forgot to mention that the use of porn drives the sex slave trade and makes the world a little less safe for my daughters. I live in the great state of Texas which has an active and shameful part in the world's sex slave industry.
I'm glad you're talking about this because so many young people become unintentional victims of this addiction. First, they think it's funny to take an inappropriate picture and send it to a friend, who in turn ups the anty by sending something worst. Then someone sends them a link that they find arousing and that leads to bigger and worst things. TV, advertising, music, immodest dress, and movies keep their passions simmering and their iPads and laptops invite them constantly to explore depravities that popular culture only dreams of offering. You can warn them about the dangers, but the demon on their shoulders promises them unimaginable satisfaction. They say to themselves, "I can handle this, I can stop whenever I want." The demon quietly smiles.
What makes it worst is that even if you take the appropriate precautions, so many other parents do not. So unless you isolate your child from others the risk that your child will be exposed to this toxic culture is still very high. When I was growing up, we worried about drug addiction, I think that porn addiction is worst. You can recover from drug addiction and often times do so by becoming much closer to God. But the damage to the soul and to a child's innocence seems much harder to repair. We are all fallen, but this seems to drag us down to a new low. Sacred Heart of Jesus, pray for us!
Who are the persons that comment on this site? I would like to become acquainted with them. But, they have such peculiar names . . . not real . . . or they are anonymous. Let's get to know one another.
robert m kraus sr
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