Monday, February 12, 2007


"Is it even possible to write a book for men on how to live chastely?" This discussion was held after Dawn Eden spoke at the diocesan seminaries here in Cleveland. Dawn admitted that a large portion of her audience tends to be men who are genuinely interested in living chaste lives. And so the question is inevitably, "Why isn't there something like this out there for men?" Well, of course there is not the least of which is Christopher West's "Winning the Battle for Sexual Purity." I highly recommend this resource. But while believing that it is helpful, even greatly so, and that it is coming from a man who struggled, gained control, and written to men to help follow him (in much the same way that Dawn Eden's book "The Thrill of the Chaste" was written for women) perhaps it is not the most effective of means.
Maybe the reason that Dawn's talk draws so much male attention is that besides a strong, older, male role model that can take you down a peg if necessary (read: DAD, older brother, father figure who is present and morally fit) the other strong influence for men is women who demand to be treated with respect, integrity, and who desire to love chastely until marriage. No, men are not beasts who are always on the prowl and will take it whenever and wherever it is offered, and it is not woman's fault if a man should end up being unchaste with her, BUT I do think - IN VERY GENERAL TERMS - that men will rise to the level that is expected of them. And, if in general women think that they must be unchaste with a man in order to be loved, then men will in general oblige the experiment.
A challenge to some women out there: Write! Perhaps what we need is for you to write a book or an article to men about protecting the integrity, chastity, and virtue of the woman he says he loves: treating with honor, respect, and deference the one who may not only be his life partner, but whom he chooses to be the mother of his children.


Saint Kansas said...

What's not to love about Christopher West? Except that he should hire me as his graphic designer, 'cause that CD cover is, as we hipster kids say, teh ghey.

Fr. V said...


Saint Kansas said...

But seriously folks, after her talk I was chatting with Dawn about strong male turnout for what is a "chick book." My theory is that, in general, men like expectations. If you expect your man to be a capital M-A-N MAN, he will strive to meet that expectation. And if you set your standards low, he will settle at that level. Men like to prove themselves and their character, and often casual sex strips them of that opportunity.