GIVE CORN YOUR SPORN

I have a friend (we’ve grown a lot since this took place) that used to think that it was hysterical to send his priest buddy suggestive material. It was never pornographic per se but it was highly suggestive. One day I had to say to him, “You know, I am trying to live a chaste life and you sending me these Emails is like sending pictures of bottles of alcohol to someone who is trying to stay away from drinking inappropriately.” It stopped from that day forward.

It is one thing not to trowel for porn or suggestive material on your computer. It is another for it to arrive from friends. It is not uncommon today for pictures to be shot from phone to phone. “Hey! Did you see this one?” No brown paper wrapping, no locked doors – but complete openness and acceptance of the practice.

Men: there is only one way that it will stop. It will not run its course and disappear. It will stop when you stop it. It takes courage (and who would have thought that there would be the day that NOT wanting porn would take courage?) There need not be any big production or announcement. Simply kindly ask that these types of messages no longer be sent to you. Others will eventually get the point.

Depending on your situation you may have a certain amount of grief dumped on you. But remember this, “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,” and give thanks that you were found worthy every time it happens.

Who does it hurt? Even if it is free and even if it is a picture shot voluntarily it still creates a market hungry for new models. It eats them up and spits them out creating an absurdly high suicide rate among porn stars. The money that is produced by porn is not used to support you schools or beautify your city. The men that watch it are not training themselves to look on women as human persons deserving dignity and respect. It steals lives for those who become wickedly addicted and not only their lives but away from their wives and children (or future wives and children – more poisoness than second hand smoke and far more insidious.)

And today it is becoming just as much a habit among women.

But it does not need to be so with you – from you – or around you.

Take courage.

MEN BEHAVING CHASTELY

"Is it even possible to write a book for men on how to live chastely?" This discussion was held after Dawn Eden spoke at the diocesan seminaries here in Cleveland. Dawn admitted that a large portion of her audience tends to be men who are genuinely interested in living chaste lives. And so the question is inevitably, "Why isn't there something like this out there for men?" Well, of course there is not the least of which is Christopher West's "Winning the Battle for Sexual Purity." I highly recommend this resource. But while believing that it is helpful, even greatly so, and that it is coming from a man who struggled, gained control, and written to men to help follow him (in much the same way that Dawn Eden's book "The Thrill of the Chaste" was written for women) perhaps it is not the most effective of means.

Maybe the reason that Dawn's talk draws so much male attention is that besides a strong, older, male role model that can take you down a peg if necessary (read: DAD, older brother, father figure who is present and morally fit) the other strong influence for men is women who demand to be treated with respect, integrity, and who desire to love chastely until marriage. No, men are not beasts who are always on the prowl and will take it whenever and wherever it is offered, and it is not woman's fault if a man should end up being unchaste with her, BUT I do think - IN VERY GENERAL TERMS - that men will rise to the level that is expected of them. And, if in general women think that they must be unchaste with a man in order to be loved, then men will in general oblige the experiment.

A challenge to some women out there: Write! Perhaps what we need is for you to write a book or an article to men about protecting the integrity, chastity, and virtue of the woman he says he loves: treating with honor, respect, and deference the one who may not only be his life partner, but whom he chooses to be the mother of his children.