Sunday, October 20, 2013

MONDAY DIARY: ALMOST EXCRUSIATINGLY TRUE STORIES: STAFF FUN DAY

Last week the rectory staff went on a little get away.  We go every year.  It is always a challenge to figure out where we will go because no two people on staff enjoy doing the same thing.  But we try.  But it is always a challenge.  There was the year we went canoeing and found out one person didn't like to get wet.  She was pretty successful at it too until we pulled ashore where the buses were to pick us up.  She stepped out of the canoe and fell backwards into two feet of water.  Just enough to get soaking wet.
 
I wrote to you last year about our pontooning trip.  We all jumped off to go swimming and then realized we couldn't get back on board.
 
This year we decided to avoid water altogether.
 
One person thought a trip to a winery/pumpkin patch would be great.  It was very nice.  We had a bon fire on a brisk day that eventually turned very warm.  We were going to make smores but the chocolate was sitting in the sun and turned to soup.  Actually that works.  Just cut a snip in the end of the package and pretend that it is chocolate sauce and apply to your marshmallows like soy sauce in those plastic packages at a Chinese restaurant.
 
The biggest problems was that the bees were out in full force. 
Sorry of you can't read that.  It's late Sunday night and I don't feel like redrawing it.

Part of the trip included a hay ride out to pick our own pumpkins.  You know what, you don't realize how heavy a pumpkin can be until you carry it three quarters of a mile.
Part of the hay ride was to stop and watch pig races.  It was my first time.  It was entertaining.
All in all, one of our better trips.

Friday, October 18, 2013

EXTRA: Requiescat in Pace

Word just made it to the Adam's Ale news room that the Most Reverend A. James Quinn, J.C.D., J.D., V.G., Titular Bishop of Scocia and Auxiliary Bishop of Cleveland passed away this morning.  Please keep him and his family in your prayers.

FRIDAY POTPOURRI: WHAT DOES THIS COUNCIL ACTUALLY SAY?


Vatican II is often misunderstood.  Actually that is not true.  In truth, Vatican II is often unknown particularly by its biggest proponents.  As mentioned here before on several occasions, people will often claim to be acting in the spirit of VII even when their actions are in direct contradiction to the council.
 
Another symptom of this reared its ugly head when the Vatican sent people to investigate nuns in the United States.  Some were happy to greet the Vatican representatives and others were not.  Those who were not cited VII as if they were given carte blanche to do as they please.  It should be remembered that religious – male and female – are part of the institutional Church.  The institutional Church has very little to say to any group of people who wants to get together and support each other living holy lives in any manner that they see fit.  But if you want to plaster the word “Catholic” on your institutions, if you want the advantages of being an officially recognized Catholic order, if you want your charism and rule recognized canonically, then you must work within the structure of the Church.  If you don’t, then one side or the other must change or disassociate yourself from the official, institutional Church.  Period.
 
Paragraph 45 of the Church’s constitution, Lumen Gentium, from VII points this out.  It is the responsibility of the hierarchy of the Church to “feed the People of God and to lead them to good pasture.”  The Church is to act “in docile response” to the promptings of the Holy Spirit when presented rules of religious life that are presented to it for approval. (emphasis added)  When this happens it is understood that the Church is being entrusted with both a protective and supervisory role to make sure that the order meant for the building up of the Body of Christ will flourish in accord with the spirit of the founder. 

 

In other words, if you don’t want to play by the rules, don’t apply to be on the team.  Go do something else.

 
So if word is getting to Rome that something funny might be happening among certain religious orders in the United States, of course they are going to come and investigate despite the bad press it might generate.  It is their job.  They would be remiss if they didn’t.  The very fact that some religious orders fought this visit is a sign in and of itself that it was time.
 
It is a two edged sword and it cuts both ways.  If you want the advantages you must also accept the responsibility.  For example, the pope may make a particular order exempt from local authorities and subject them to himself alone.  That may allow them to flourish in a way that would otherwise be difficult depending on the situation.  On the other hand, religious “must show respect and obedience toward bishops in accord with canon law, both because these exercise authority in their individual Churches and because this is necessary for unity and harmony in the carrying out of apostolic work.”
 
Those who want to live this specific type of life approach the Church, the Church doesn't go after them.  The Church, in turn, gives legal sanction of the life by raising it to the dignity of a canonical state and receives liturgically the consecration of such individuals.  The Church receives the vows, prays for those in these states of life, and unites their sacrifice of their lives to that of the Eucharist. 

 
All that beings said, people will still think otherwise and that is Okay.  Just don’t invoke Vatican II.  It is a false premise.  Now we can have an honest discussion.

Thursday, October 17, 2013

ARRESTING DEVELOPMENTS


A Cleveland priest is in trouble.  Gads I hate that.  How anybody in their right mind would risk such behavior in this day in age – especially knowing that priests are going to be especially targeted – is beyond my ken.  But as much as I want to slap him upside the head, I feel sorry for the poor soul firstly that he is so desperate that he was willing to risk public embarrassment (not to mention having already contracted HIV) and that as a priest and close to the sacraments as he was did not reach out to someone who would lead him away from such behavior or allow the grace of the sacraments to help him find fulfillment elsewhere.
 
Say a prayer for him and even more so for his congregation.
 
*sigh*


 
The coverage from the news media was interesting.  Within an hour of the arrest, one news station was already pumping out stories on the internet.  The details in the paper were excruciating.  The amount of people arrested for such behavior every day is staggering, but it is for Catholic priests that such painful details are put on display for public scrutiny.  I wasn’t even sure what some of the stuff was about which they were speaking.

 

But I mention this because I don’t think it an entirely bad thing.  Politicians and priests are given a spot light and everyone else, except the most outrageous offenders, get little or no coverage at all.  Why is this?  Is something more expected especially of Catholic priests?  Are they seen as different?  We are supposed to be different – “in the world not of the world.”  As much as it appears to be an attack and may, in the heart of the reporter, be intended as such, at its root there may be a strong desire that there would be hope in this world beyond the mundane.  That the world wants there to be some great and indisputable power for good and an inerrant answer to our questions.  And when there is someone who comes along who should be a shining example that fails so spectacularly, it is with a mix of sarcasm, anger, disappointment, and a little relief in that “I don’t have to change my life because that faith just leads to the same place,” the gory details are paraded down the center of the street for all to see and learn the age old lesson, “See, it was too good to be true.”
 
Yet there are 1.2 billion Catholics in the world.  Some of them are bound not to get it and end up exploding like the space shuttle while the world looks on and gasps, unable to turn away. 
 
But the opposite is also true.  When we go to Church we are surrounded by proof that the faith does work and for those who follows her, holiness is offered.  We see them in wood, plaster, and paint.  The light shining through their images in glass is so bright we can barely look upon them.  They also walk out of the confessional, having confessed their sins, striving to make amends, change their lives, and do penance.  Even hundreds of epic fails cannot dim the great cloud of witnesses that testify that the path to holiness in the Church is a true one for those who are true to it.

 
In the meantime, be aware of the public scandal that our sins can cause.  May they never be an excuse for someone else to stay away from the faith.  May the people of St. Ignatius persevere in their journey toward the Supper of the Lamb.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

YES YOU CAN


If you want to make sure that your diet fails, start focusing on all the things you can’t have.  No desert for you.  Nothing from the candy dish.  Can’t have that second helping.  All those “no”s will wear your resolve down.  It gives what you can’t have more power over you and if this is a weakness already, there is the great temptation to fail.
Rather focus on what you can have.  You can have flatter stomach.  You can be healthier.  You can have more self control.  You can fit into your favorite clothes.  You can feel better about yourself.
 
Or you can have that candy bar.
 
Faith life is not much different.  A person can focus on all the desires that they have and the “can’t have that” attitude.  No sex outside of marriage.  Can’t get drunk.  Can’t miss Mass.  If you see faith as one giant “can’t”, it will become overbearing, a load too heavy to carry.
 
Rather focus on what faith gives you.  Freedom from the slavery to sin, the freedom to become the best version of yourself.  Freedom from the consequences of sin (diseases, unplanned pregnancy, drunk driving accidents, hangovers . . .), sins that have momentary pleasures and lifelong consequences.  You can have a deeper relationship with God.  You can have better relationships with your loved ones.  You don’t have to be angry, secretive, or anxious.  And you do not have to be afraid of death.

 

Or you can walk out of the store knowing they gave you too much change.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

TUESDAY QUOTE OF THE WEEK CCCXIII

FINDING TRUTH WHEREVER IT MAY BE FOUND:  "We are only bitter against the law when we desire to break it."  Christopher West.
 
QUOTE II:  "Christ did not suffer, die, and resurrect so that we could have better coping skills, but that we might be set free."  Christopher West.
 
IN OTHER NEWS:
 
Apologize from our post office again.  There was no post yesterday because it was our staff outting day which, ironically, may be material for next Monday.
 
For those who are confused, here is a place to look to help.  Six Things to Know When Reading about Pope Francis.

Another article concerning the coverage of Pope Francis can be found here.

Mary sent this article in about the rise in seminarians.  The picture and part of the article featurs the Diocese of Cleveland's own seminary.  Thanks Mary.

Priest in residence at St. Sebastian, my cousin, and almost birthday boy Fr. Christopher Trenta wrote home from his studies in Rome, "Things are going here in Rome...the Italian is still a bit tricky when it comes to distinguishing all the past tenses in one document (instead of studying one tense at a time). Say a prayer for language wisdom."  But the main reason for his writing was to make us aware of something he wrote that appeared in America Magazine.  To find it go here and then, "Look under the "Reply All" section from their readers...it's the first letter."

"What Do I Do with My Pain?" is the topic of this 2 and half minute video.
 


Friday, October 11, 2013

FRIDAY POTPOURRI: YOU BETCHA SISTER

Continuing our look at Lumen Gentium on Religious Life, paragraphs 43 & 44
 
One of the great effects of the Second Vatican Council has been the renewal of religious life.  Granted, what exactly that renewal means greatly differs from community to community with differently results.  But there is no doubt that religious life is still an essential aspect of Catholic culture and life.

 
These men and women take on living out more fully the evangelical counsels of poverty, chastity, and obedience.  The institutional Church role is to make sure that these are lived out in keeping with the teachings of Christ.  (For example, she would put her foot down if part of obedience meant forced self flagellation.  That would not be acceptable.)  This way of life has always been so popular with some of our brothers and sisters that a great variety of forms of this way of life have grown up with the Church.  Different rules, different charisms, community or solitary life appear helping individuals toward a holier life which in turn feeds the life of the Church. 

 

Members join in order to receive help toward the call we have to be saints.  It is not some sort of middle ground between the lay and ordained state, but a way of life all its own to which both lay and ordained may be called. 
 
There is the story of a priest who went to visit a friend who had become a monk in a monastery.  The friend lived his life within the monastery boundaries while his priest friend was free to come and go where he pleased.  “I don’t know how you do it,” the priest exclaimed, “I could never live confined to these walls like you.  You must have great spiritual strength.”
 
The monk replied, “Funny, I was thinking what great spiritual strength you must have to be out in the world with all of its distractions and temptations.  I don’t know that I could do that.”
 
We are all called to certain ways of life that are best for us.  The men and women of the religious order seek out this way of life, a community bound in poverty, chastity, and obedience, as their means for them to live the best lives possible.  
 
They are also symbols for us of the spiritual promises made to us that are reaching out to us even in this life.  They are visual reminders that we are built for the life to come where eye has not seen, ear has not heard what God has ready for those who love Him.  The life they lead is an arrow pointing toward that heavenly life, the wedding feast of the Lamb. 

Thursday, October 10, 2013

HAMBURGER VOCATION


This weekend is vocation awareness weekend.  “Vocation” means more than a priestly or religious life.  There are many vocations within the Church.  Marriage is also a vocation.  Religious life is a vocation.  The chosen single life is a vocation.  A vocation helps us live out our service to God.  One first chooses how they are called to serve and then figures out which vocation best fits their calling. 
If you have yet to figure out your vocation, actively look into it, pursue it, and live it with a vengeance!  Choose rather than settle for what is left to you.  If you are already in a vocation, start today to rededicate yourself to your vocation.  Let it never grow cool.  Be a person on fire, fully alive, living your life and your vocation to the fullest.  Be a light to others; a fire burning brightly and remarkably in a world that so desperately needs it.

Someone asked about a communion wafer on a hamburger.  (See yesterday's comments.)  One of the great things about being a Catholic is knowing the difference between an indelicacy and an indecency.  This one, however runs very close to the indecency.  Long time readers of Adam's Ale may be a bit surprised that I don't come down more directly and harshly on this matter.  Whereas I would never go to this restaurant, there may be more here than meets the eye and may point toward a deeper problem that this highlights.
 
It should be pointed out that even though they do use a communion wafer it does not mean a direct assault on the Catholic Church.  Other denomination also use communion wafers.  Let us make the grand assumption for the moment that they are good, practicing, non-Catholic Christians.  It may simply be that they do not have the same idea of what the wafer signifies as it does Catholics.  After all, if it is simply a symbol for example, so is bread.  Does that mean that we cannot use bread on our hamburger because it is a symbol of Christ Who says, "I am the Bread of Life"?  Of course not.
 
This is yet another reason we do not randomly say, "Do you believe in Christ?  Then come to the altar and receive the Eucharist."  Someone may indeed believe in Christ, may believe that the host is somehow connected to Christ, but then see no reason why it (unconsecrated) c

ouldn't be put on top of a hamburger.
 
With this in mind, I would not step foot in the establishment but would be moved to write a very kind note explaining why and wait to see if any kind of action takes place.  Who knows? Maybe the best kind of evangelization might take place because of this faux pas.  Nothing will happen if we let it slide under the table, not movement toward the unity to which Christ calls us if either we eat the hamburger with no comment or willy nilly share the Eucharist.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

OREMUS


About this time of year pastors are making their financial reports available to the parish and giving some sort of “End of Fiscal Year Report.”  Hopefully yours is positive.  St. Sebastian’s report said that we were in the black and starting to do catch up with maintenance repairs that nobody is excited about: fixing boilers, tuck pointing, roofs . . . all the fun stuff most people are not interested in but which is none-the-less absolutely necessary.  There’s a lot more to go but at least we are on our way!
 
Whether you were sitting in the pew as your pastor exclaimed that your finances were as red as the dawn and your particular part of the bark of Peter was taking on water quickly, or if you were blessed to have a coal black financial standing and a pastor pleading with you to give your money elsewhere because they have run out of space to store the stuff, don’t forget to pray for your parish.  It does not exist out of thin air.  It doesn’t have to be.  It could just as easily not exist.  A parish is a delicate thing.  It might not take more than a factory closing, poor leadership, crime, a natural disaster, a dying city, a bad roof, and an institution that took 100 years to build up could be gone or start a long slow decline.
 
It is very important to support your parish financially but even more so with your prayers.  Pray first of all that she remain true to her mission and center herself on the Eucharist.  May she be a beacon of light for your part of the world.  May her leadership be skilled and in keeping with the call of Christ and with worldly requirements.  May she energize her people with apostolic zeal.  May she remain strong and relevant.  May she keep doing what she was meant to do.

Tuesday, October 8, 2013

TUESDAY QUOTE OF THE WEEK CCCXII

FINDING TRUTH WHEREVER IT MAY BE FOUND:  "Only God and a few angels know the difference between embrace and smother."  John Shea

QUOTE II:  "Don't hold on to anything so tightly that you can't reach out to your neighbor."  Fr. Ed Estok

IN OTHER NEWS:

Those in the Adam's Ale Post Office apologize that there was no post yesterday.  There was a funeral for a fellow priest, Fr. Jim Flood.

 Lynn sent this in with the note, "You know it's pastor appreciation month.  I thought that you would like this."

From the Diocese of Cleveland Enewsletter:  "There is certainly more activity this year on the campus of the Center for Pastoral Leadership (CPL) located on Euclid Avenue in Wickliffe, Ohio. The CPL is the home for both seminaries of the Diocese of Cleveland. The undergraduate school is Borromeo Seminary and the graduate school of theology is Saint Mary Seminary."  Read more here.

This article sent in by Mary:  "Bishop Tells Apologists: Beauty Must Infuse the New Evangelism"  Read more here.

Here is a three and a half minute film from the Black Friars:

Friday, October 4, 2013

FRIDAY POTPOURRI: AND THE GREATEST OF THESE IS LOVE


Lumen Gentium paragraph 42

 

Love is not a feeling.  If love solely consisted of the ache you have in your heart, then virtue would consist of sitting on your bed aching for those who mean something to you.  But as it is, that is the feeling of love, it itself is not love.  Love is in deeds.  It is who you are and what you do.  God, Who is love, gives us, through the Holy Spirit, charity.  But if it is to mean anything within us, “each of the faithful must willingly hear the will of God and carry out His will with deeds, with the help of His grace . . .”  And ground zero for the source of our ability to carry this out is our celebration of the Eucharist and other sacraments followed by prayer, self denial, works of “brotherly service,” and the practice of the virtues.
 
The supreme act of love is in the laying down of your life for others as did our Savior and those who do so become more fully like him.  That is why the Church has always so highly esteemed martyrs.  And in a world that is highly suspicious of such things, she has also always fostered the lifestyle of virginity and celibacy for those who wish to devote their lives more fully to the service of God.  Also held in high esteem are those who actively choose poverty or simple lifestyles, subjecting themselves to the love of God and conforming themselves more fully “to the obedient Christ.”
 
A lifestyle say of poverty is not in and of itself holiness, but a great pathway to holiness.  What do we need to do to make our lives a pathway to holiness?  We can begin pondering this with the warning from Scripture, “Let those who use this world not fix their abode in it, for the form of this world is passing away.”  1 Cor. 7:31

This brings to an end the chapter on holiness.

Thursday, October 3, 2013

KEEP CALM AND CARRY ON

There is a legend that Pope John XXIII (soon to be saint it seems) was asked the question, "How many people work at the Vatican," and he replied, "About half."  Whether the stuff of legend or not, might it not shed some light on a current comment by our current pontiff? 
 
My sister was somewhat upset that Pope Francis was going to do away with the "court" aspect of the Vatican.  I think she interpreted that to mean that he is doing away with all that is dignified about the Vatican and indeed the pope does seem to tend toward the more simple yet elegant.  But I don't think that is that to which this current statement refers.  It seems to lean toward those who hang around the Vatican like courtiers of a king or queen who seem to make do by their association with "the court" rather than actually doing anything beneficial.  I picture Pope Francis with a broom and taking it to the backside of some idle flatterer drinking his espresso in the papal palace (where the pope himself has refused to sleep) and saying, "Get out there!  DO something!  This is about the people, particularly those in need!  Not hanging around the house drinking my coffee and sleeping in until all hours!"  (This, I hope, is a grave hyperbole, but you get my point.)
All sorts of popes have reforms; reforms of the clergy, reforms of the liturgy, and now we will have a reform of Vatican life particularly the bank!  The problem is that we do not exactly know what is changing or why and that can be scary. 
 
I recently was in a beautiful church in Ontario and there was scaffolding up in the nave.  "What's going on here?" I asked what turned out to be the maintenance man.
 
"Oh, they're redoing the church."
 
"Are the renovating or restoring?"
 
He thought about it a little bit and then said, "I think renovating."
 
What does that mean?  Are they painting and fixing up or are they replacing the pews with prayer mats and hanging lava lamps from ceiling?  I have no idea and if it were my parish, I would be nervous about not knowing.
 
So if you read something about the pope that makes you nervous (and there are plenty of nervous - and some excited,)  PLEASE do not take what you are reading in the paper is the truth, the WHOLE truth, and nothing but the truth.  There are so many places to look on line to find the complete statement and in context. 

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

"CATHOLIC" IS AISLE THREE, HALF WAY DOWN ON THE RIGHT, TOP SHELF


“Catholic” was never meant to be a subcategory like exists, for example, in the fiction genre.  There is fiction, and then under that are subcategories of children’s, or romance, or adventure, or what have you.  In a similar way it was not intended that there be movies or books or music and then a subcategory of “Catholic”; or healthcare or marriage or science with a Catholic version.  Catholicism is a world view, a way of seeing existence, a way of existing.  It is one of the reasons it is called Catholic, it is universal; all times, all places, all peoples.  It is given to us to help us live, not be an odd duck appendage to another way of life.
 
That is not to say that every book that is supposed to be about the rosary.  A murder mystery can be a great Catholic book.  Not every movie has to be about Fatima.  A futuristic movie about going into space and discovering a new planet can be a good Catholic movie.  Ideas on healthcare are not about making everyone a papist; it is about making good choices, upholding the dignity of all, and what it means to be fully human.  But as soon as there is a Catholic (or Christian) category, it can be ignored.  Catholics too may be reluctant to engage their Catholic way of life into their works and efforts for the exact same reason: Catholic means that healthcare initiatives are only good for and relevant to Catholics.  Social justice ideas stamped Catholic means that they can considered arcane and limited to only 2 billion people on the planet rather than something that is meant to help all people thrive.
 
“Catholic” is about bringing the one, the true, the good, and the beautiful into all that is done.  The best Catholic movies were made by atheists who were not trying to do so.  Some of the best Catholic books that I have ever read were either decidedly not about Catholics or were written by non-Catholics.  Conversely much of the best science we have enjoyed has come from priests.  All of them reached a larger audience because they did not subcategorize themselves, but were decidedly still Catholic in nature even when it has been via negativa. 

 

Catholic is not a Sunday activity.  It is a cultural way of living.

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

TUESDAY QUOTE OF THE WEEK CCCXI

FINDING TRUTH WHEREVER IT MAY BE FOUND:  "You don't decide not to be Catholic anymore - Catholicism is something that soaks into your skin like vitamin D.  You can't just stand there as the sun pours down upon you, saying, None for me thanks."  from Lynn Coady's, "The Antagonist"
 
QUOTE II:  "I think now that anyone who believes in God, even a little, can't help but yearn toward the evangelicals.  Let's face it, there's is the church we really want.  We want to be swept up.  We want to sob and roll around on the ground.  We want to feel the Holy Spirit as a living force and we want it to swoop down and kick us in the (*ss).  We want it to heal our souls.  We want it to remove every last doubt we ever entertained about our randomness as creatures of the earth.  We want certainty.  We want to see the face of Jesus on a grilled cheese sandwich.  We want to throw away our crutches.  We want Satan, and we want him to want us too, so we can always be at war, because war makes our daily (BS) righteous and significant.  We want to hear the voices - the ones that tell us what to do, and tell us how we're loved.  We want to be as little children and believe."  same source.
 
IN OTHER NEWS:

Pat sent this article in about the Little Sisters of the Poor taking on Health Care Mandates.


From the Diocese of Cleveland Enewsletter: "The Diocese of Cleveland, in conjunction with the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops asks you to "stand with us" in defending conscience rights! Get informed, advocate and pray about this important issue."  Read more and see a video here.
 
Mary sent this video in.  Fr. Damien Ference, a priest of the Diocese of Cleveland and a professor in our seminary was recently interviews on Life on the Rock.  The hour video is below.

Sunday, September 29, 2013

MONDAY DIARY: ALMOST EXCRUSIATINGLY TRUE STORIES: DOG GONE IT

 No doubt about it, dogs have a sixth sense.  They can predict things before they happen.  You hear about it all the time - the dogs going crazy before an earthquake, becoming restless when a predator is coming, getting antsy when the mail is about to be delivered, knowing exactly where to roll in order to get the maximum stink value.
 
Sebastian knows when I am going on vacation.  He can pick it up as quickly as the scent of a dead squirrel in the park.  I've tried everything because Sebastian makes leaving him behind for a couple of days about as pleasant as black fly season in upstate New York.  He KNOWS the difference between me leaving for an hour or two and me leaving for a week.  My latest trick was to pack 5 days in advance to throw him off, but he knew something was up immediately.
So the bag was in my car for five days.  One would think that he might forget about the whole thing.  Not so.  On certain things he has a mind like a steal trap: Where his bones are buried, what day his favorite secretary is coming to work, and that I have packed bags in the car. 
 
So he starts to get a little clingy.  Make that very clingy.
 Now, I will admit that being appreciated is a very nice thing.  But it can be wearing.  As the date for departure grew nearer, Sebastian became more insecure.  At night he would rest his big head on my bed and whimper.  He's a good sized dog so his head is high enough to make it to the height of the bed and that noggin must weigh about 10 pounds all by itself and so makes it self known not only by its whimpering noises but in the bounce of the bed as he slams it down several times just to let me know that he is there.
 One time when he was doing this I let him up on the bed thinking that it would ease his anxiety.  The only thing it did was increase mine.  He sighed.  A lot.  He also runs and talks in his sleep emitting little puffs of barks while his legs twitch back and forth.  AND he is a bed hog, pushing, pushing, pushing until I am on a sliver of bed, have to get up, walk around, and sleep on the wide open expanse on the other side. 
 
The day before I leave it reaches a climax.  It becomes difficult to leave the house whatsoever.
 Being finally on vacation I am plagued by thoughts of how Sebastian is getting along.  Is he Okay?  Is he still sane?  Is he tearing the place up?  Is he in a depressed stupor?  Is he mad at me?  Does he even notice that I'm gone?  Is this what people with small children go through?
 
So I say a prayer and try to send it to him, to calm and soothe him.  Do I worry about the parish?  No.  There are competent people there to handle everything.  But Sebastian . . .
 
On the way home I look forward to seeing him above everything else.  Is that pathetic or what?  But of course, all this also has its advantages . . .