Sunday, December 1, 2019

MONDAY DIARY: ALMOST EXCRUCIATINGLY TRUE STORIES: HAT HAIR vs HAIR HAT

 I don't think that being baldish bothers me but apparently it does.  I've saved a fortune on shampoo and haircuts and there is no need to worry about wearing hats, riding in convertibles or styling.  BUT, apparently at some level it must bother me because I have a reoccurring dream that I comb my hair slightly differently (not that I actually have anything to comb anymore) and discover that I have this lucious head of hair . . . 

The consolation prize is that I became a man who wears hats - both to stay warm in the winter and to guard against the sun in the summer.  Over the years I've accumulated quite a collection of these head toppers - everything from a skull cap to porkpie.

The other day I ended up getting a slouch hat.  It looks something like this:
Loved ones have told me never to wear a hat like this - apparently I am too old and too unhipster.  Still, I tried one out walking the dogs the other day.

We were walking along and one of the dogs went to the bathroom.  So I bent over to retrieve the production and when I stood up the hat slouched across my face.

So there I was with two leashes in one hand and a bag of post-dog treats in the other and a hat over my face.  So I threw my head back and shook it back into place and it FELT LIKE THIS:


That settled it.


7 comments:

Marie M said...

Hooray! The blog is back!! When oh when will the book, "Almost Excruciatingly True Stories" by Fr. John Valencheck ever be in print??

Anonymous said...

I echo everything the fabulous Marie M (fellow parishioner and friend) said! We have missed you!!!

And she is right - the "Almost Excruciatingly True Stories" would make a terrific book for kids and adults! It is my favorite column of the week (although the rest are great, too).

I have very fine, thin hair, and I *love* to wear hats. I cannot leave home with one unless I plan to wear it for the entire duration of my excursion because when I take the hat off, my pathetic hair is smashed to my skull and I look silly, to put it mildly. I think you look very nice in your hats - so do the boys, no matter what they are up to.

God bless and protect you and everyone at St. Sebastian - Sue from St. B

Anonymous said...

So glad to see you're back! I have missed you!

Fr. V said...

Thank you everybody! I really do enjoy doing it - time just seems to be more difficult to come by recently.

Pat said...

Father,

I appreciate your blog.

In the words of "Audrey II" (Little Shop of Horrors): "Feed me."

lgreen515 said...

I like your fedora.

Barry said...

So glad to see your post! Having moved out of Akron, we were getting worried! YES, publish Thee Book of Dr V Blogs!