SON, IT'S TIME FOR "THAT" TALK

Father Ozimek once told us (when we got older) not to pick up girls in bars because then you will end up marrying the type of girls who go to bars to pick up men. Why that stuck in my mind in particular I do not know.

It is sad to deal with so many families that are in turmoil. It is especially interesting when it comes to wedding rehearsals. “This is Mom number one with her husband who is walking me down the isle because he is more of a dad to me than my Dad was. My biological Dad and his new girlfriend cannot be seated next to them because they do not get along though his second ex-wife with whom I am close is Okay wherever she sits.” Thank goodness for the dads that stick around to teach their children how to love and how to stay in a relationship to which they gave a serious commitment. Perhaps that is why the saying is a popular one that, “The best gift a father can give to his children is to love their mother.”

That being said I found an interesting prayer card in the back of a drawer as I was moving entitled, “A Young Man’s Prayer.” The back gives six rules for a “Happy and Successful Friendship and Courtship”

1. “Receive our Lord in Holy Communion every Sunday for strength to be and act like a Christlike man.” Worthy advice if the Eucharist is to be the source and summit of our being.

2. “Pray to the Blessed Mother every day for grace to respect and protect her daughters.” It is said that if you want to know how a man will treat his wife, look to see how he treats his mother. And that could be extended to the Blessed Mother as well.

3. “Imitate Christ the Gentleman Who was so unselfish at home and abroad.” There is yet another saying that goes, “He who is nice to you but rude to waiter is not a nice man.” “A gentleman is solid mahogany, the fashionable man merely veneer.” Be a gentleman through and through as was Christ.

4. “Be rich in masculine interests and grow in the art of conversation and of being interesting.” Being masculine does not mean to set yourself apart but to bring masculinity to the table, to compliment and balance the relationship. And to cultivate being interesting mean not to focus on yourself, but to become interesting by being interested in others.

5. “Learn to make decisions for yourself. Learn to save and to be a pleasant companion.” There is an art to making decisions so that one is neither a authoritarian micro manger nor so open that his brains fall out trying to please everyone.

6. “Strive for an esteem of the Sacrament of Marriage and of your Godgiven calling as husband and father in building a Catholic marriage and a Catholic home.” What you cultivate is what you will reap. Something that is fun now may not be sustainable for a lifetime.

The card ends with this prayer: “O St. Joseph, model of justice and therefore of husbands, I beseech you to direct me in my choice of a future wife. Grant me especially wisdom and deliberation in this choice. Make both my friendship and courtship especially chaste, unselfish, prudent, thrifty, and cheerful. Be my companion in single as well as in wedded life. Amen.”