This past weekend we celebrated Corpus Christi with a procession from St. Sebastian church to the Julie Billiart chapel. It was swell. Most of the things that went "wrong" were unnoticeable. At one point one of the server's bells exploded leaving pieces in the street. And then there was wearing our 90th anniversary cope - beautiful and HEAVY.
So at one point I am kneeling before the Blessed Sacrament and I move to stand up and realize that TONS of material are wrapped around my foot. (How does that happen?!?!) I try surreptitiously to free my foot reaching down under the cope with my hand trying not to draw attention to myself. But I can't tell what's wrapped or how. I try shaking my foot but that makes things worse.
One thing that sometimes works is if you try to stand up on one foot - the one that you assume is free from all encumbrance hoping that the act of standing will pull the fabric and free the encumbered foot. That works but it is risky.
One could just be honest and make a show of climbing out of the predicament in which one finds oneself - I am sure that people would understand. But I also like things to look good and to not draw attention to myself. That's part of the reason for all the vestments - to hide the man - he's not important - Jesus is.
Well, I'd been kneeling for a long time hoping to extricate myself but there was no go and people were perhaps becoming annoyed with what they assumed was my lengthy piety. So I tried the one foot maneuver. Things seemed to be going and well and I thought I was free and so put my other foot down and then . . .
Worst of all scenarios. The material was still around my foot and when I put it down everything tightened around my neck and yanked me to the side like a boat taking on water and listing to the port side. The chapel appears to suddenly at an angle. Embarrassment sets in more quickly than a February cold - so I shake my foot free, regain uprightness, and pretend like nothing happened.
I would like to personally thank all those present who didn't point it out afterward. You are awesome.