MAY I HAVE THE ENVELOPE REVEALING GOD'S PLAN PLEASE.

So a lady calls me who had been trying to get into a religious order out of state.  “I was accepted!” she exclaimed and wanted to come in to see me the next day to talk about it.  To tell the truth, I was excited also.

The next day she comes in and starts balling tears.  Waterfalls.  Like someone accidentally punctured a water tank.  I was mildly confused.  “I thought we were happy and excited about this,” I said.  As it turns out, the gentlemen with whom she was spending time decided that he was serious about loving her and wanted to spend a lot more guaranteed time with her.  So out of the blue he proposed and now she was conflicted.  

“What does God want me to do?  Does He want me to be married or does He want me to be in a religious order?”

“Well, first let’s look on the bright side,” I responded, “It is not as though you are looking at the difference between death row and a life sentence.  This is a choice between two goods!”  (That didn’t help.)

Unlike St. Francis, most people don’t have a dream or hear a voice from God saying, ‘HERE IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT YOU TO DO.”  Be glad.  If that happened, you would HAVE to fulfill it or be in serious sin since you would know the will of God and then ignore it!  Most of us are granted MUCH more leeway.

So most of us go through a period of discernment.  Or we should instead of just plowing through life doing the next thing that pops up.  If you want a plan of discernment, there are all kinds of books, tubes and retreats on the matter.  Many times it comes down to making a decision.  Your discernment may leave you with two goods and nights of roiling over “What does God want me to do?”  Here’s the answer (and you may not like it if you are in the roiling process right now.)  Sometimes God wants you to choose and then be faithful to that choice.  Marriage and religious life are two goods.  They were placed before the woman mentioned above like two puppies.  She had to choose one and only one, and then make the decision to give that one puppy all her care.

Sometimes that alone is God’s will.

FRIDAY POTPOURRI - CALLINGS IN CLEVELAND'S CATHEDRAL - PARTII

This is part II of Fr. Pfeiffer's vocation story. Part I was posted in last Friday's Potpourri.

During this year off I rented an apartment with another great friend from high school, got a job, and lived in the “real world.” It was during this time when I finally started asking the question, “What does God want me to do?” rather than my usual “What do I want to do?” I could not articulate it that way at the time, but during this period I was praying more, continued reading C.S. Lewis books (which interestingly was the consistent thing I did through all the preceding years as well), read the Catechism, and even The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. By this time in my life I was big on apologetics, and I would almost look for debates to defend the Church (I may have done this to a fault at times). I loved talking about the faith. Somehow through all of this, my response to God grace started to grow, and I came to the decision of joining Borromeo Seminary (the college level). I figured if I was energized about the Faith, then maybe I should look into the priesthood; maybe my uncle was onto something I thought.

I told my uncle, and he was thrilled. Then I told my parents and they were very happy and supportive. I told my friends and again was blessed to find much support. During my time at Borromeo Seminary people were affirming this call to priesthood and God kept pulling me along year after year. He pulled me along in my spiritual life as well making me more aware of His infinite love (even for me). Even when doubts would creep up I could not find a good reason for leaving the seminary. It was invaluable to have a good spiritual director during these times (which is probably why the church requires spiritual directors for seminarians). After graduating Borromeo I progressed to St. Mary Seminary for theological studies and more intense training for ministerial priesthood.

It was in my seminary years where living as a holy Christian man really came to the forefront for me. Living out the Faith through the call to holiness (which of course includes realizing how far away I still am) became more paramount. Before seminary I lived the Faith as best I could, but it was extremely intellectual (which is a good thing - don’t get me wrong). I knew the Faith, but was still coming to know the person of Jesus. I am still becoming more aware of Him and His love. This is a life long process of formation for all of us in whichever vocation we choose. His grace somehow worked through it all and kept calling me to priesthood. It is this vocation through which I am to live a holy life. What a blessing it is to be called as a steward of the sacred mysteries even while I am still a sinner. I keep reminding myself that God does not call the worthy, but makes worthy those whom He calls.

Finally after five years at St. Mary’s Bishop Lennon recognized that call. He ordained me a transitional deacon on Oct. 25, 2008 and on May 16, 2009 he advanced me to the rank of the presbyterate in the Order of Melchizedek of Old. The Bishop has assigned me as the parochial vicar of St. Sebastian Parish in Akron, OH for the next four years. I am loving priesthood! - the Mass and sacraments, the people whom I serve, Fr. V. and Sebastian (the dog). How good God is! “And now you know the rest of the story,” as Paul Harvey would say.

Praised be to our Lord Jesus Christ - May God bless you and Mary keep you!

FRIDAY POTOURRI - CALLINGS IN CLEVELAND'S CATHEDRAL: A VOCATION STORY - PART I

There is a guest blogger again today. Fr Pfeiffer has graciously offered his vocation story. Part II will follow next Friday. Enjoy!

Fr. V. has asked me to write a vocation story blog telling of my journey to priesthood. Well, it all started at St. John the Evangelist Cathedral in downtown Cleveland. I say it started there because it is under the vaulted ceiling of our Diocesan mother church where I was baptized. My parents were “between parishes” at the time so my uncle, Fr. Bob Pfeiffer (more on him in a bit), said bring him down to the Cathedral. So in April of 1979 I was washed clean of original sin and began my participation in the Mystical Body of Christ, His Church. Little did any of us know that thirty years later I would be in the same cathedral pressing my nose to the marble and having the bishop’s hands lain on my head allowing me to participate in the eternal Priesthood of Jesus Christ, Head and Shepherd.

My family moved a few times while I was younger, but wherever we were Sunday Mass was a priority and prayer at home was important. We were not praying daily rosaries, but staples of prayer were at meals, Christmas and Easter traditions of prayer and song (at four years old I even wrote and directed a nativity play that the family enacted), and special prayers at family reunions, etc. In fifth grade I started serving at our local parish (in a small town in PA) . This continued through junior high while we lived in Toledo, OH. I think it was at this time I remember my uncle, Fr. Bob, dropping hints about my becoming a priest. I actually ignored much of this. We made our last move just before my freshman year of high school when we came to Stow, OH. We had returned home in a sense to the Cleveland Diocese and close to where my father grew up in Cuyahoga Falls. I even went to my father’s alma mater, Archbishop Hoban High School (even though Fr. Bob went to St. Vincent High School).

It was during these four years that Fr. Bob continued to drop hints - not often but once in a while - about my entering the seminary. But of course toward the end of high school, I had my own plans. I wanted to be an architect, so I was accepted into Kent State University’s Architecture School and continued there for two years. While there, one of my best friends from Hoban entered the seminary (now Fr. Jared Orndorff) as well as another friend I knew from Hoban (now Fr. Mike McCandless). I was happy for them but still did not consider myself as one to wear a roman collar.

After two years I decided to switch majors to Aerospace technology and become a pilot. Architecture was not working out for me as I had hoped, and I felt drawn to military service. I enrolled in the United States Marine Corps Officer Candidate Program. This involved summer training at Officer Candidate School (OCS) and completion of my degree thereupon granting me a commission as an officer and a place in flight school. I went to OCS and gained valuable leadership training (as well as getting in great shape) and returned to finish school, but now something was really nagging me. I did not know what it was, but I felt I needed to take time off school and reconsider my “life’s plan.” Dropping out of full-time school meant leaving the officer program as well.

VIOS CON DIOS

Sunday there was an interesting dinner. It was a group of friends having a sending off of one of our own who is going into the convent. Kay, or as some of you have come to know her through Adam’s Ale, Lillian Marie, is packing her bags and moving into Lourdes Shrine in Euclid to discern life with the Trinitarian Sisters! She is actually only the third person I know to go into the convent as of late. Sr. John Paul joined the Nashville Dominicans and Sr. Brigid joined the Sisters of Life in New York.

I remember when Sister Brigid was contemplating religious life. One of her biggest obstacles was the paying off of her student loans. There are organizations that help with this endeavor but hers were considerable and there were some difficulties at first but fortunately it was rectified. Kay had a unique solution. Even though she will be living at the convent and going through formation she will continue her job at the Rapid Transit Authority (not only does she work there, she is one of their biggest fans!) to help pay down her obligations. Good for the Trinitarians for being so flexible!

We were joking about what she must have said to her boss about taking time off on Thursday to make the move. “Um, I need a day off in order to move into a convent because I am becoming a nun.” How often has a boss heard THAT excuse? (It probably can only be used once in a lifetime.)

Please keep Kay in your prayers. There is the initial excitement of such things but that wears off even for the most ardent for religious life. The real period of adjustment happens when the newness grows thin and the situation must be faced without the adrenaline of excitement – not so different from being married or moving to another city I suppose.

Kay – you are in my prayers! Thank you for going more deeply into discernment and for letting us be a part of it! We need you more than you can ever know.

And here is prayer for all of you contemplating and discerning. Thank you!

AFFIRM THE CONCERN TO DISCERN

Two years ago Fr. B and Fr. O and I were on retreat in New York with Fr. Benedict Groeschel FFR. We had to leave very early in the morning the day the retreat was supposed to end and Fr. Benedict bade us to come to his quarters (which to my eyes is an old stall in the carriage house where we stayed) so that he might give us some parting words.

It was bitterly cold outside and very early, around 5:30 AM, and Fr. Benedict was already up and working on a paper he was writing. He sat in a chair under the dim light of a floor lamp with papers in his lap. Most of what he said that morning I have forgotten but he did say, “I want you boys to start writing.” (He’s old enough he can still call me a boy and be spot on.) Then we knelt down and received his blessing for our trip.

We discussed at length what he might have meant by his exhortation and did not come to much of a conclusion (I have maintained that it was heavily directed to Fr. O, the brains of our operation,) though it seemed to have something to do with the joy we three have in being priests. The incident came to mind again recently when reading from a book that one of the priests with whom I live gave us. It is entitled, “Lent and Easter Wisdom from G. K. Chesterton”. Every day there is a little exercise that the authors suggest. This is one from last week:

“In your journal or on a piece of paper, draw a line down the middle of the page, splitting the page into two columns. On the left side, make a lost of things for which you are grateful. . . In the right-hand column, comment on these blessing, recording your thoughts of amazement, wonder, and joy.”

This I set off to do. On the left side I wrote down the first thing that came to mind. “Priesthood.” On the right side I started listing why I loved participating in the ordained priesthood of Jesus Christ. I never got around to writing another blessed thing on the left side because the right side kept demanding my attention in the listing of blessing that being a priest has given me. Here are some of the things that I wrote:

I believe in what I do. I wake in the morning and I am happy and look forward to doing the things that a priest is called upon to do. Even bad days are not bad days, they are difficult days and I know it has to do with a particular situation and not the priesthood. What a blessing it is to find joy in what you do and how you live life.

You might be inclined to thing that next thing on the list would be the confecting of the Eucharist. Not exactly so. I love that the priesthood keeps me close to the Eucharist but being the celebrant of the mass, at least at the canon of the mass I find daunting. Actually, it is Okay as long as I do not think on it too heavily. The sensation of being overwhelmed starts around the “Orate fratres” when the people respond, “May the Lord accept this sacrifice at your hands, for the praise and glory of His Name, for our good and the good of all His Church.” I think, “Wow, these people are entrusting me with this!” Then we move into the sacrifice proper. It is like being entrusted with carrying the most valuable and delicate work of art every day at the museum but more so! One cannot think too deeply on it at the time. That risks being rendered immobile at the wonder of it. Meditation on it, for me, is best done later.

Confession is of course awesome. Can you imagine being a dispenser of God’s mercy? What it is to be present when so much healing is occurring? I have so little to do with it and yet to be privileged, for some unimaginable reason, to be a witness it. Wow.

One of my past career paths was in the theater (nothing too fancy) and I loved it because I believe in art and its power to transform people. But I was not always able to control the message that went out. At times had to “preach” ideas that I thought degrading to human dignity and God's glory with as much gusto as those in which I did believe. Not so with the priesthood. Week in and week out I am afforded the chance to ask hundreds of people to stop and think about something I believe in with every ounce of my being and know can transform their lives.

I love that despite fixed marks on my schedule, every day is different. Every season is more different still. I love that part of my job is to work out my salvation; to grow spiritually and to grow in knowledge of something that gives me joy. Further, I belong to an organization that despite its faults I am confident in and proud of. In general I respect my superiors and trust them.

Because I am a priest I meet and am on friendly terms with people that I know I would not be if it were not for the Roman collar. I see amazing places that I would most likely never be able to see otherwise. I am not rich, I won’t be, but I live comfortably enough. Being a member of the clergy gives me the structure that I need to pray more than my fallen nature would fall into on its own I fear. I can go into the Church late at night with not but the moon beams through the stained glass window and the sanctuary lamp for light and pray before the Blessed Sacrament. And if truth be told, I like being able to go over to the gym and throw hoops when nobody else is around. Who has that available to them?

A wife and kids? I do think about that from time to time. My biggest worry has been that some day I might regret not having taken that route. Then I realized that every time I had thought it, I was happy and figured why should I not continue to be happy in the future? Every decision “for” means saying “no” to many other things no matter what one's life decisions are. I am happy with mine and choose not to dwell on what could have been for what is is so incredible to me. As a prayer from the same book mentioned above says, “Grant me wisdom to set for myself healthy limits. And let those limits set me free – free to enjoy what is instead of fettered over what might or might not be.”

I share this not so much to convince anyone into a priestly or religious vocation (unless you are so inclined) as much as to implore everyone to truly take the time to discern what it is God is calling you to. And that which he is calling you to is not what everyone else is doing or what people expect of you, but the holy path that best fits the aptitude He has given you. There is nothing worse that a priest who should not have been ordained, or a married person who should not have been married, or a single person who is bitter at their state. This is an anguished cry echoing out of the confessional. It was more accident than anything else that afforded me the time to discern and think. Do not leave it to chance! Ask God for guidance. Find out where He is leading you and may your discernment allow you too to wake up in the morning with joy, purpose, and meaning every day for the rest of your life!

SUNDAY VIDEO ON TAP VI

This one is a little odd I will grant you. But maybe it will spark some thought. It is called "Sin".

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nf5f6n8Joq0

C.B. sends along this link and recommends it for people who are discerning direction in life.

Habemus Papem reports that the Cedar Lee Theater in Cleveland has begun advertizing for the movie "Into Great Silence" opening on April 13th!

The Catholic Diocese of Cleveland E-newsletter included this link for a virtual tour of our Diocesan Cathedral of Saint John the Evangelist.

Happy Palm Sunday!

TO VOW OR NOT TO VOW: THAT IS THE QUESTION

Says Brother Parker in Colleen Carroll’s book “The New Faithful”: “I’ve learned that’s the key to discernment. If you’re really doing what God wants you to do, you’ll have peace and you’ll have joy.”

Here are two sad little stories. The sad part is the frequency with which they occur.

Coming across a mother with kids in tow and making some passing comment about how many of them might have a religious vocation she says, “Oh no Father, I don’t think I want any of my children in religious vocations!”

A man comes in the confessional and sadly tells about the state of his marriage and how he has always kind of known that he was not meant to be a married man with children.

If someone feels the call to religious life (and is likewise called by the community) it is not a done deal. There are years of discernment that takes place while everyone figures out if this is truly the best fit for the person and the community. On the other hand, it is pretty much a given that people are inherently cut out for marriage and children. “Now, when you grow up and have children of your own . . .” But not everyone is cut out for it and pressuring someone into it will cause not only them to lose that joy and peace, but the joy and peace of those around them will suffer. It is imperative that a person looking toward the future not only discern if they want to marry, but if they are cut out to be married (or live a religious or single vocation.)

There are several categories of discerners. There are those who would be happy in any of the three lifestyles. This can be a cause for angst as the person struggles to learn exactly to which God is calling. But sometimes there is not a “right choice.” Sometimes there is choosing and then living it to the best of your ability.

There are those who feel called a certain way but are pressured to choose differently: to meet other’s expectations. This is a dangerous route as it may lead you down a difficult path. Nothing like living somebody else’s calling and not your own. That is a recipe for a hard life. Often these are the ones who feel pulled in more than one direction: heart one way, mind the other. It would help if this person sought the advice of a trusted spiritual director and spent some serious time in prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.

Happily, there are those whose path seems as clear to them as a Clarion commercial.

Then there are those who have made a vow. They are no longer discerners. That time has passed. Now is the time to live one’s chosen vocation to its full.

Every path to a vocation, religious or otherwise, is unique. But for what it is worth, I thought that I would share my discernment story with you over the next couple of days in hopes that it might aid someone else on their journey (or at least provide some entertainment.)