DEBATING A BEST SOLUTION

I was unprepared as a newly ordained for the number of people who said, “You know, I should have never been married.  I’m not really cut out for it but it seemed like the thing I was supposed to do.”  When someone says this, we don’t talk about discerning whether God is calling them elsewhere or not, we talk about a spirituality that will help them keep up with their promises and commitments.  The time for discernment (vocational anyway) has passed.  It would never be that God is calling you out of your marriage and family (although there are rare exceptions.)

So it is with heavy heart that I hear about (formerly Father) Jonathon Morris, once famous priest and commentator on FOX news.  I like the guy.  I want to wish him well and heavens know we don’t need unhappy priests in the priesthood.  However, in his interview on FOX he said that God is the one calling him away from his vocation, promises and commitments.  It is with this that I have difficulty.

There are a lot of things that could be going on in his life.  Maybe it is that he became a priest thinking that it really wasn’t for him just like a person might think that maybe he wasn’t really cut out for marriage but wanted to live up to other’s hopes.  And he certainly had some rough things with which to contend in his priesthood and it was probably a good idea to let him go if his heart was set on it (a lot of damage could have occurred otherwise.)  But that this was the best solution I have caution especially in an era when people, in general, are having grave difficulties being committed to a cup of coffee with a friend in a week let alone marriage, holy orders or other of life’s grave commitments.

He has my prayers and I wish him and others in his shoes well, but it is with sadness and I am not on the bandwagon of, “Good for him for following his heart!”  To be clear: there may be things going on in his life to which we are not privy and maybe this is the best move for all involved.  But as an example of of how to handle life’s commitments when they are not as we had hoped (or we are not happy, or we find something better, or our interests have changed, or, or or) this is a solution to be looked upon somberly and with great caution.

MONDAY DIARY: ALMOST EXCRUCIATINGLY TRUE STORIES: PRESEMINARIANS

SO . . . This past weekend, in order to help celebrate Priesthood Sunday, Fr. P and I held a dinner at the rectory for seminarians and any young (to youngish) men of the parish who are considering priesthood.  It could range from those ready to sign up tomorrow to those who give it the remotest possibility such as if the French Foriegn Legion should regect them.  We would have considered it a success if two or three guys showed up, but eleven signed up (though one had to cancel due to other responsibilities.)  Wow.

 

It started off a bit rough however.  These ten guys with no real former connections (they were from all kinds of age groups) kind of sat around and stared at their glasses of pop as if they had all been sent down to the principals office and were too embarrassed to recognize each other.

 

The first half of the night looked a bit like this:

And sounded like this:

And felt like this:

But we were fortunate also to have four seminarians there.  Over dinner (a fabulous dinner prepared by a volunteer from the parish who heard about the dinner and wanted to be a part of it AND who just had knee surgery on Friday but STILL made dinner) the priests and seminarians told their vocations stories.  They all had similar themes - our hearts were restless and found peace when we started pursuing God.  (Very Augustinian no?)  But, the big guns were saved for last.  Fr. O's story is a whale of a tale and succeeded in making everybody loosen up:

NOTE: Despite the depiction above, there was no beer or smoking at the event though it is true that the land war in Asia was not a success.

 

At this point everybody loosened up a bit and things became a little more fun.  One of things used to entice guys to come was a climb up the bell tower and I quote, "IF the weather was good."  It was not.  It was not remotely even mild.  It was the beginning of the Frankenstorm.  Sebastian didn't even want to go for his walk.  So I offered an alternative:

The point of the afternoon was not to lure these guys into becoming priests.  God will have to do that if it is His plan.  The point was for the guys to see that there are other men in the parish who are also considering this life - they are not alone.  And they at least asked the question seriously once.  Please keep them in your prayers.

And it was also nice getting to know these men a little better also.  For instance, I found out that Paul (below) is afraid of heights, the full extent of which we did not fully realize until we were seven stories up in the tower with low railing overlooking Akron in a rainstorm.  Nice timing to come clean guy.

Also, thanks to Anthony, a seminarian who came to St. Sebastian this weekend to promote vocations.  He and our two seminarians, Jeremy and James, and the seminarian assigned to the parish for the year, Brian, made the day great.  Keep these guys and they guys of your own parish in your prayers that you may have priests available to you when you need them.



MONDAY DIARY: THEY ARE THERE

This past Friday Fr. Pfeiffer and I jumped into the priest mobile and headed north to the Seminary to see two seminarians who call St. Sebastian their spiritual home installed as readers.  Confessions went long that Friday afternoon and getting out we ran to the car and jumped on the highway.  Driving toward Cleveland we passed mile after mile of slow, backed up cars driving home after work I assume.  Fortunately far fewer people were driving into Cleveland. 

 

“I’m sure glad our commute is a walk down the stairs in the morning,” I said.

 

“Me too,” came the reply.

 

Actually my commute is twice as long as Fr. Pfeiffer’s.  I must go down the entire flight of stairs in the house while his room is off the first landing.

 

After stopping for some pon pon chicken we pulled into the CP&L parking lot on that dark rainy night with just adequate time to make it to the Mass.  It was nice being back at the seminary and seeing so many good men who are giving the priesthood an honest looking into.  And to get the pon pon chicken

 

Gentle readers:  Vocations are out there.  But like plants or savings or love, they need to be nurtured and cared for.  Here are a few stories from just a last couple of weeks around the parish:

 

This past weekend Fr. Pfeiffer stopped me in the aisle of the church following the 11:00 Sunday Mass.  “Do you want me to take the baptisms and you register this new guy or do you want to take the baptism and I register?”  I had married the parents of one of those to be baptized just last year and so chose baptisms.  We went to the sacristy, me to vest and Fr. Pfeiffer to de-vest, and the gentleman to be registered stood close by.  Noticing he was there without a family in tow I asked him if he were considering the priesthood.  He stated that he was in a state of discernment and that it was a real possibility.

 

Very recently I was taking Sebastian for his evening constitutional and came across a young man who was working an event at the parish hall.  We stopped and chatted for a few moments and he asked a number of questions concerning the number of years one had to study for the priesthood and what kind of degree I had and a few other questions along these lines.  Suddenly it hit me and so I asked, “Are you thinking of the priesthood?”  He smiled and said, “I think so.  At least I would like to explore the idea.”

 

Two other young men came to our parish from another parish to explore ideas of the priesthood.  One decided it was not for him but at least he gave it an honest thinking over.

 

The youth minister stopped in my office this morning and showed me a picture from our trip to the youth conference at the Franciscan University of Steubenville this past summer.  It depicted three young men of our parish who are seriously considering the priesthood and stood up when the speaker called for all those considering a vocation.  One of them has already visited the seminary and talked to the vocations director.

 

There is another young man who stated his intention to submit an application (not to the diocese), and a happy number of grade  and middle schoolers who have expressed interest and we regularly pray for them.

 

I tell you this only to point out that vocations are out there.  THE NUMBER ONE REASON why young men who were at one time thinking of going into the priesthood did not do so is because NOBODY SUGGESTED IT OR SUPPORTED THEM IN THE IDEA.

 

This week the priests of the diocese will be with their bishop for three days.  Technically there should be no Masses (or they should be difficult to find – we will have one on Thursday celebrated by an order priest at 8:15AM) and as a diocese we will get a taste of what it might feel like if we do not promote vocations.  So tell a young man that you think he might be a good priest and then pray for him.

FRIDAY POTPOURRI - CALLINGS IN CLEVELAND'S CATHEDRAL - PARTII

This is part II of Fr. Pfeiffer's vocation story. Part I was posted in last Friday's Potpourri.

During this year off I rented an apartment with another great friend from high school, got a job, and lived in the “real world.” It was during this time when I finally started asking the question, “What does God want me to do?” rather than my usual “What do I want to do?” I could not articulate it that way at the time, but during this period I was praying more, continued reading C.S. Lewis books (which interestingly was the consistent thing I did through all the preceding years as well), read the Catechism, and even The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien. By this time in my life I was big on apologetics, and I would almost look for debates to defend the Church (I may have done this to a fault at times). I loved talking about the faith. Somehow through all of this, my response to God grace started to grow, and I came to the decision of joining Borromeo Seminary (the college level). I figured if I was energized about the Faith, then maybe I should look into the priesthood; maybe my uncle was onto something I thought.

I told my uncle, and he was thrilled. Then I told my parents and they were very happy and supportive. I told my friends and again was blessed to find much support. During my time at Borromeo Seminary people were affirming this call to priesthood and God kept pulling me along year after year. He pulled me along in my spiritual life as well making me more aware of His infinite love (even for me). Even when doubts would creep up I could not find a good reason for leaving the seminary. It was invaluable to have a good spiritual director during these times (which is probably why the church requires spiritual directors for seminarians). After graduating Borromeo I progressed to St. Mary Seminary for theological studies and more intense training for ministerial priesthood.

It was in my seminary years where living as a holy Christian man really came to the forefront for me. Living out the Faith through the call to holiness (which of course includes realizing how far away I still am) became more paramount. Before seminary I lived the Faith as best I could, but it was extremely intellectual (which is a good thing - don’t get me wrong). I knew the Faith, but was still coming to know the person of Jesus. I am still becoming more aware of Him and His love. This is a life long process of formation for all of us in whichever vocation we choose. His grace somehow worked through it all and kept calling me to priesthood. It is this vocation through which I am to live a holy life. What a blessing it is to be called as a steward of the sacred mysteries even while I am still a sinner. I keep reminding myself that God does not call the worthy, but makes worthy those whom He calls.

Finally after five years at St. Mary’s Bishop Lennon recognized that call. He ordained me a transitional deacon on Oct. 25, 2008 and on May 16, 2009 he advanced me to the rank of the presbyterate in the Order of Melchizedek of Old. The Bishop has assigned me as the parochial vicar of St. Sebastian Parish in Akron, OH for the next four years. I am loving priesthood! - the Mass and sacraments, the people whom I serve, Fr. V. and Sebastian (the dog). How good God is! “And now you know the rest of the story,” as Paul Harvey would say.

Praised be to our Lord Jesus Christ - May God bless you and Mary keep you!

FRIDAY POTOURRI - CALLINGS IN CLEVELAND'S CATHEDRAL: A VOCATION STORY - PART I

There is a guest blogger again today. Fr Pfeiffer has graciously offered his vocation story. Part II will follow next Friday. Enjoy!

Fr. V. has asked me to write a vocation story blog telling of my journey to priesthood. Well, it all started at St. John the Evangelist Cathedral in downtown Cleveland. I say it started there because it is under the vaulted ceiling of our Diocesan mother church where I was baptized. My parents were “between parishes” at the time so my uncle, Fr. Bob Pfeiffer (more on him in a bit), said bring him down to the Cathedral. So in April of 1979 I was washed clean of original sin and began my participation in the Mystical Body of Christ, His Church. Little did any of us know that thirty years later I would be in the same cathedral pressing my nose to the marble and having the bishop’s hands lain on my head allowing me to participate in the eternal Priesthood of Jesus Christ, Head and Shepherd.

My family moved a few times while I was younger, but wherever we were Sunday Mass was a priority and prayer at home was important. We were not praying daily rosaries, but staples of prayer were at meals, Christmas and Easter traditions of prayer and song (at four years old I even wrote and directed a nativity play that the family enacted), and special prayers at family reunions, etc. In fifth grade I started serving at our local parish (in a small town in PA) . This continued through junior high while we lived in Toledo, OH. I think it was at this time I remember my uncle, Fr. Bob, dropping hints about my becoming a priest. I actually ignored much of this. We made our last move just before my freshman year of high school when we came to Stow, OH. We had returned home in a sense to the Cleveland Diocese and close to where my father grew up in Cuyahoga Falls. I even went to my father’s alma mater, Archbishop Hoban High School (even though Fr. Bob went to St. Vincent High School).

It was during these four years that Fr. Bob continued to drop hints - not often but once in a while - about my entering the seminary. But of course toward the end of high school, I had my own plans. I wanted to be an architect, so I was accepted into Kent State University’s Architecture School and continued there for two years. While there, one of my best friends from Hoban entered the seminary (now Fr. Jared Orndorff) as well as another friend I knew from Hoban (now Fr. Mike McCandless). I was happy for them but still did not consider myself as one to wear a roman collar.

After two years I decided to switch majors to Aerospace technology and become a pilot. Architecture was not working out for me as I had hoped, and I felt drawn to military service. I enrolled in the United States Marine Corps Officer Candidate Program. This involved summer training at Officer Candidate School (OCS) and completion of my degree thereupon granting me a commission as an officer and a place in flight school. I went to OCS and gained valuable leadership training (as well as getting in great shape) and returned to finish school, but now something was really nagging me. I did not know what it was, but I felt I needed to take time off school and reconsider my “life’s plan.” Dropping out of full-time school meant leaving the officer program as well.

FRIDAY POTPOURRI - WHAT DO YOU THINK?

You came with a lot of great ideas for to replace Friday Fair. There are still some symbolic things we can throw in but a lot of the things about which you wrote were also very good. So maybe Friday will become “Friday Potpourri.” It will cover a limited scope of topics. Thanks for the grand idea.

One of the topics recommended is vocation stories. There was a series a long time ago in which I described my own vocation history. I enjoy hearing them also so if anybody has a vocation journey story and would Email it to me I would be most please to post one occasionally.

One of my favorite stories came from my first pastor as a priest. His name was Fr. Robert Hilkert. He had a way of telling stories and I do not know exactly how much of it was true and how much of it was true in a way to make the story more interesting. The way he tells the story however is that he and his brother were told that they were going to go away for schooling. A concept that was terribly exciting. It was not until he had installed himself at school that he came to discover that it was a seminary.

Apparently the pastor of Saint Vincent told him that his sons had possibilities and that they should try out the seminary – which they did though not of their own volition. The interesting part is that both he and his brother Fr. John Hilkert stayed the course and were ordained.

The brothers greatly loved the priesthood and were model priests in many ways though quite different from each other. Once in the seminary it never really occurred to Fr. Robert not to continue on in the priesthood. It was a natural fit though he claims not to have much considered it until he actual found himself in the seminary.

To his dying day he could not understand why more men did not choose the priesthood. He spoke of it as such a grand and privileged life and his example and joy was always evident.

GUEST BLOG II

The Computers are back up but I do not know for how long! Here is part II of yesterday's blog.

I started going to Church, although I don't remember going to Confession. I ended my career in child care for a 'real job' at (name of company removed). I found new friends, many of whom I still keep in contact. This continued for 6 years as I was slowly rebuilt. But God knew I had to get out of Columbus in order to continue my spiritual growth. The company was bought, divided, and pieces-parts sold off. the new parent comapny then crashed into a financial tailspin, caused by the upper management. Many of us lost our jobs. I moved to Cleveland to live with family and collected unemployment checks - a very humbling experience.

I would walk to church for daily and Sunday Mass and would often talk with Fr. M. and other parishioners. I was being drawn back to the Church. I finally landed a job, bought a house a year later, and registered at a parish.

I remember my first confession in years... the night before I happened to turn on EWTN. Fr. Corapi was talking about sins and the 10 Commandments. Within an hour I discovered that I sinned against every Commandment...some multiple times! That night I made my laundry list of sins and went to the Cathedral that morning. I walked into the Confessional, knelt down (actually hiding from the Priest because I couldn't face anyone with these sins!...even God), and wept! In between the tears, a sin would be voiced, and a kleenex box would appear from the other side of the screen. I don't remember what my penance was...I just remember hearing 'that was a good examination of conscience' and 'I absolve you from all of your sins'. I was walking on clouds when I left the Confessional! Mass was amazing that day! I had never felt so close to our Lord.

I started going to Adoration and soon signed up for a weekly Holy Hour. I read the Bible, books on Saints, Epistles, prayer books, and the Catechism of the Catholic Church, all provided by the parish for their Adoration Chapel. The more I read, the more I wanted to read. I found Pierced by a Sword at home and started reading. I remember my mom telling me about it and highly recommended the book but I had always ignored the hint...until now. I couldn't put the book down! I think I read it cover-to-cover in a weekend! This book changed my life! I felt myself being called closer to God but unsure in which direction.

After reading an article on Spirit Daily, I did some research on becoming a Consecrated Virgin. I emailed the Associate Pastor at the parish but never got a response and soon he was transferred to another parish. I started talking with friends about people they knew in a religious life. I visited Shrines and other Catholic Churches around Cleveland. I also researched St. Maximillian Kolbe, Militia Immaculata, and emailed the Diocese about the process of becoming a Consecrated Virgin.

The yearning for our Lord was growing stronger. I consecrated myself to Mary through the Militia Immaculata in September and found a Militia group on the west side of Cleveland and started attending the meetings. We prayed and studied Will to Love, daily reflections by St. Maximillian Kolbe. I felt drawn to St. Max and discovered that his feast day and my birthday were the same day! What a blessing!

I still heard nothing from the Cleveland Diocese regarding becoming a Consecrated Virgin, so I figured this was not the route our Lord wanted me to take. There was an ad in the bulletin for a Scott Hahn Bible Study on Mary and joined that with my parents. For the next 10 weeks my parents and I went to Our Lady of Lourdes Shrine on Sunday nights to study our Heavenly Mother. I got to know some of the Sisters at the Shrine - they all seemed sane - not at all like Sr. Patricia.One of the Sisters asked me what I wanted out of a religious vocation. I had never thought about this. So I did some additional research and started making a list. From what I discovered, there were many orders that were not following the Magisterium - this was a must for me. So I then started revising my list in to the 'Must-haves'. When I was finished, there were 3:

1. Must be fully habited, including the veil. If I was going to join a religious order, I wanted people to know.

2. The Order must be faithful to the Magisterium, Teachings, and Traditions.
They also must have a Charism of the Most Hly Trinity, Mary our Heavenly Mother, and

3. Apostolate of Education.

This narrowed my search quite a bit - especially the full habit criteria. I discovered that most of the orders that do not wear habits also do not follow all of the Teachings & Traditions of the Catholic Faith. Now I had to decide what type of Order I was looking for - monastic, cloister, charity, service, etc. Monastic and Cloister were eliminated quickly because my vocal ability is lacking tonality and my ability to be silent was hindered by my ever-running brain to which I must then voice my thoughts.

I talked with several Orders and visited several communities in the Cleveland area. I researched my criteria on the internet and found 3 Orders that I was deeply interested in:

The Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity, Euclid, OH

Society of Our Lady and the Most Holy Trinity (SOLT), TX

Sisters of Reparation to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus

No matter which Order/Community I visited, I was always led back to the Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity. Although all of the other Orders are remarkable and the Sisters, amazing, I felt at home with the Sisters of the Most Holy Trinity. This is where God has been leading me...this is where He is asking me to call home.

If you have any questions or thoughts for L.M., especially if you are contemplating a religous vocation, please feel free to contact her through this site.

GUEST BLOG - PART I

Greetings!

COMPUTERS ARE DOWN AGAIN! I AM IN THE SCHOOL BETWEEN CLASSES TO POST THIS SO IT MAY BE THAT POST MAY BE LATE OR NOT POSTED AT ALL FOR THE NEXT SPELL.

Those of you who have been around for a little spell know that L.M., a regular visitor on the site had decided to join a religous order. She recently shared he story with me and said that she would like for it to be shared in the even that it could assist someone else. Here is part one of her vocation story:

Although the title above sounds a bit 'schoolish', I have been asked by several people for my vocation story. And since I also have to write it for my application to (the religious order she is joining), I thought I would write it here so my family & friends could read it as well.I can't say it's always been my dream to be a Nun. Growing up I thought I would get married and have children like my parents. God, however, had other plans for me - in fact, much better plans!

I went to public school through most of 7th grade so my memories of Sisters is limited during this time. I think I remember seeing them sporadically in Church - I remember the stories that my mom told me about growing up & going to a Catholic grade school, but I did not have this experience, at least not until the 8th grade.

I do have to say that my school-age memories of the Sisters were not very encouraging toward a religious life. We moved to Georgia and we went to a Catholic grade school. Sr. P., my English teacher in 8th grade, used to tell us stories about how she taught Moses to speak English. She would also sit behind her desk during independent study time and play tic-tac-toe with her feet. How she lost to herself, I'll never know. In 9th grade, I had the greatest Sister! She was in a non-habited Order yet she was a whiz at Geometry & Algebra. It was through her (and my 8th grade math teacher) that I fell in love with the math-sciences.

Just before 10th grade, we moved to Ohio. I had two former Nuns for teachers at the Catholic high school - one for English and the other for Religion. The Religion teacher was always trying to be 'hip' with the students, but not succeeding, and the English teacher talked in such a monotone that it was difficult trying to pay attention. Not very good role models.

It was on the campus of Ohio State University that I found myself drawn to a religious order. Sr. F. and Sr. M. worked at the Newman Center, just off campus. We would often talk about their decision for religious life, their discernment, and their love for our Lord. They seemed to have it all together and did not live within their communities, although they would often talk about going back to visit. I became more involved with the Church - EMHC, Pastoral Council member, TNT (Tuesday Night Together) Student Representative, RCIA Sponsor, and CCD Teacher. The more I became involved, the more I yearned to know more about our Lord and Savior.

After thinking about this for awhile, at least a couple years, I decided to let my mom know about my decision. We talked for hours. She asked me a question: "Are you wanting to join a religious order because you are really interested or because you are running away from dealing with the abuse.

For 10 years, starting when I was 7, I was molested by some of my cousins. It started innocently but when I told his father, my uncle, about the incident, he laughed and said his sons wouldn't do anything like that. Major blow to a little girl who trusted her parents when they told her that if something should happen, tell an adult, they'll believe you & they'll take care of it. I did, he didn't, and the abuse continued. It wasn't until the night before I was to leave for college that I told my parents about the abuse.

I couldn't answer my mom's question. Was I interested? Was I running? I decided to put off any thoughts of joining an order until I could answer this question honestly and without hesitation. At OSU I had gone to several student councellors - most of whom did nothing to heal the pain. After a year, I stopped....I was all 'talked' out. I needed something more. But now it was a couple years later, I was out of school & in the 'working world' and decided to try it again. I went to several counsellors, psychologists, and therapists during the next few years, most of whom did not help, some may have done more harm than good had I continued the sessions, and one who wanted me to be angry with my father & bring a teddy bear (which I did not own) to the session. That counsellor did not last long!

I soon found myself falling away from the Church looking for any type of healing. I rarely attended Mass. I bought many 'self-help' books and hung out with some interesting friends. These friends led me to psychics, reiki, tarot cards, and other alternative methods of healing. The annual "Light Expo" was also on my calendar. The only two things I refused to try were witchcraft and oiji boards because they scared me too much. The 'healing' sessions became more frequent and yet I never felt happy nor healed.

The healing, God's healing, started one weekend after an extremely busy and tiring week. I was so frustrated with life, myself, and God, that I decided to 'tell' God what I really thought. Little did I know He was listening. I told God that I was tired of my life. Tired of feeling so down, unhappy, and just plain tired! Something needed to change and I told Him to change it. That evening, my mom called to see if I was coming up for the weekend. I hadn't planned on it but a weekend with family sounded really good and relaxing...something I really needed. I packed my bags Friday morning so I could leave immediately after work. The 3 hour drive was very relaxing.

When I arrived at my parent's house, their Bible Study was just ending. We all chit-chatted for awhile until someone, I think it was my mom, asked if I wanted to be prayed over. Hesitantly I accepted, unsure of what they were going to do to me.Quickly they rearranged the room, sat me in a white wicker chair in the middle of the room, and surrounded me. I closed my eyes because I really didn't want to watch...for fear of what was going to happen. I felt their hands on my shoulders, head, arms, knees, and someone was holding my hands. All of a sudden they all started praying, loudly! Then different languages were heard even louder. I wanted to bolt! Every once in awhile I'd hear my name or 'healing' or something in English...but not very often. Although I was apprehensive, I felt at peace when everyone had finished. I couldn't explain it nor did I really understand.Matthew 18: 16-17 "Again, (amen) I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything for which they are to pray, it shall be granted to them by my heavenly Father. For where two or three are gathered together in my name, there am I in the midst of them."

About 3 months later, I got a phone call from my mom telling me about a man (not really a pyschologist) who taught mind/body awareness specifically for abuse victims...and was located in Columbus. A year of therapy, self-defense, and mind/body awareness, all in a safe environment, led me through the healing of my 'inner child'...and the beginning of my spiritual healing.