Monday, August 31, 2015

MONDAY DIARY: ALMOST EXCRUCIATINGLY TRUE STORIES: WHEN BRAINS ATTACK

You know, I think I look good baldish.  When I had hair it was full of cowlicks and was a bit unmanageable anyway.  Plus, our family tends toward very fine and free willed hair so everything made having hair difficult - wind from having the car window down, wearing hats (which I enjoy doing,) the price of gas in Tanzania . . .

And so I really, really think I am over the whole "Oh my gosh I am baldish" thing.  Except - EXCEPT, about once very other month I have this dream that I comb my hair just slightly differently and the result is that I discover that all this time really did have a full head of luscious hair!
Weird.

I scare myself sometimes.

Of course, the next dream is that I get my hair cut at the Hershey Barbershop again where one of the Hershey girls used to cut my hair until I was too embarrassed to go any longer.

So it was the same thing with turning 50.  I thought I was perfectly Okay with it.  But so many people joined in on telling me that it was going to be Okay that I started thinking, "Maybe this isn't Okay."
So the whole thing starts playing with you . . .

I am SO GLAD that I am not a bishop.  How do they put with us priests?

This is one of drawbacks of celibacy - there's no wife there to say, "You're eating with your mouth open," or "You've worn those pants 5 days in row and you are not stepping out of the house like that," and finally, "Oh you big oaf.  You're just turning 50.  Get over it and get to work."

"And pick up some milk on the way home."

4 comments:

cathy said...

Your dream sounds a lot like a "Hair Club for Men" commercial, Father! ...Don't change a thing. You are very distinguished. We love you the way you are! God bless you.

Helpful birthday 50 humor: "Welcome to the Middle Ages"! HA!

https://www.google.com/search?q=birthday+50+humor&biw=803&bih=687&tbm=isch&tbo=u&source=univ&sa=X&ved=0CB0QsARqFQoTCLH30rzJ1McCFUvRgAodMYMDUg

Pat said...

Don't forget about "that test."

Cyndy said...

I've met a few Slovenians over the years and as a general rule I have found them to be a positive, optimistic people, but Fr. V, you take the cake! You're the only man I've ever heard speak of a wife's nagging as one of the advantages of being married!

Chris P. said...

Hmmm... I've always thought you were partial to the cassock because it's slick and classic... I never thought it was your defense against wearing the same pants 5 days in a row.