Sunday, September 18, 2011


This is an almost excrusiatingly true story of how good of a friend I am.
In truth it doesn't take a lot to make me happy.  Food makes me happy.  Good food makes me even happier.

One of the perks of being a priest at St. Sebastian is that we have someone to do our shopping for us.  Even more wonderful than that is that the person who shops for us is the fabulous Mrs. C.  Every week or so she comes in and sees what we have written on our shopping list and goes shopping for us.

Unfortunately the fabulous Mrs. C has taken to shopping at another store where she feels she finds better deals.  What she doesn't find there is Value Time Cheese Curls.

After a few weeks of moping and complaining about cheese curls substitutes which was the equivelent of drinking sour grape juice in place of a fine bottle of wine the truly fabulous Mrs. C went out of her way and bought me some Value Time Cheese Curls.  (Like I couldn't do it.  I know.)
And there they stayed waiting for the perfect moment - the perfect movie - the perfect hunger in which to indulge in what has become a rare treat at the St. Sebastian rectory.  Then one day it happened.  A friend of mine who shall go only by the name Fr. B. came by to watch a movie.  He brought his dog Aticus to play with Sebastian while we were to watch a movie.  He calls it "Mutts and Movie Night."  Then he said,
There are all kinds of snacks in the house.  Pastries, chips, dips, inferior cheese curls, candy, anything in the world a snacker could want - and one solitary bag of Value Time Cheese Curls hidden WAY at the back of the bottoms shelf of a cupboard behind some dog food.  Of course Fr. B found it and grabbed it.  "But," I thought, "That's fine.  There is enough for two of us."

I thought that because I carefully ration out the cheese curls when I eat them.  One bag can last through a number of movies thereby spreading out the cheesy delicousness over a number of days.

So I had no fear. 

I should have.

And I did not harm him much.

And that is the story of how good of a friend I am.


Margaret Comstock said...

Oh Father, it is good to have you back. And the moral of the story is, "Don't hide the good cheese curls behind the dog food when a friend with a dog is coming over." That is what is called 'living dangerously'!

Anonymous said...

Now Santa knows what to get you for Christmas.

MJ said...

Whoa - I appreciate how lucky Fr. B is to be alive - I know how much you like your cheese curls!! I bet after this post you'll have plenty of Value Time cheese curls :-D

Anonymous said...

why not Utz pretzels?....goes great with a good beer and is a slightly healthier snack:-) plus, there is no way fr. b or anyone could polish those off in one sitting!

The Crescat said...

If you win, I will buy a bag of the non-existent comparable brand cheese curls.

Love, The Crescat.

Matt W said...

Loved the mixed-media shot of the cheese curl in action.

At least the incomparable Mrs. C doesn't call you "Sparky" like she does me.

I just don't even know what to say about Valu Time Cheez curlz.

lgreen515 said...

What a heartbreaking story.

jorge calderon said...

Padre, no se imagina como eleva mi alma en busca del reino de Dios, con su predica y enseñanza. Será que yo no tengo bien en claro o es que ud está apegago al mundo, y con la foto que puso de su perfil lo dice todo, sin ser yo psicologo, perdone mis criticas pero, ¿es ud sacerdote?

Anonymous said...

The Valu-time cheese curl does have incredible powers. I am able to make a 7 1/2 year old boy clean his room easily for the promise of a serving of those cheese powdered treats. They do have considerably more salt/cheese/not good for you flavor than other brands. I am also happy to know that the scream I heard was only you Father!

Robert M Kraus Sr said...

i wouldn't eat a value time cheese curl if i were dying of starvation

Matt W said...


Me parece un poco atrevido juzgar a nadie como has juzgado sin conocer a la persona. Al padre V yo sí le conozco y te puedo asegurar que es uno de los sacerdotes más fieles, trabajadores y preocupados por la santidad de sus feligreses que jamás he conocido. Y para colmo, ¡tiene buen sentido de humor!

En Cristo,


Anonymous said...

This is the funniest story I have read on this blog (or any other)!
I recently discovered your blog and check in about once a week. Really enjoy all your writings, both serious and humorous.

Laura M. said...

Hi Father,

My name is Laura Manocchio, and I met you at the end of the summer at Craig Hanes's house. I told you how much I loved your blog and you asked me to comment and let you know I was reading. Unfortunately, I haven't read until just now. I am so thankful I did because this post about the cheese curls just made my average day much, much better! :) I hear ya, don't mess with a good thing- with the inferior/different brand. Oh, and Fr. Barry? He would! Haha, but I commend you for being such a great friend.