Wednesday, December 16, 2009


I have a friend (we’ve grown a lot since this took place) that used to think that it was hysterical to send his priest buddy suggestive material. It was never pornographic per se but it was highly suggestive. One day I had to say to him, “You know, I am trying to live a chaste life and you sending me these Emails is like sending pictures of bottles of alcohol to someone who is trying to stay away from drinking inappropriately.” It stopped from that day forward.

It is one thing not to trowel for porn or suggestive material on your computer. It is another for it to arrive from friends. It is not uncommon today for pictures to be shot from phone to phone. “Hey! Did you see this one?” No brown paper wrapping, no locked doors – but complete openness and acceptance of the practice.

Men: there is only one way that it will stop. It will not run its course and disappear. It will stop when you stop it. It takes courage (and who would have thought that there would be the day that NOT wanting porn would take courage?) There need not be any big production or announcement. Simply kindly ask that these types of messages no longer be sent to you. Others will eventually get the point.

Depending on your situation you may have a certain amount of grief dumped on you. But remember this, “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,” and give thanks that you were found worthy every time it happens.

Who does it hurt? Even if it is free and even if it is a picture shot voluntarily it still creates a market hungry for new models. It eats them up and spits them out creating an absurdly high suicide rate among porn stars. The money that is produced by porn is not used to support you schools or beautify your city. The men that watch it are not training themselves to look on women as human persons deserving dignity and respect. It steals lives for those who become wickedly addicted and not only their lives but away from their wives and children (or future wives and children – more poisoness than second hand smoke and far more insidious.)

And today it is becoming just as much a habit among women.

But it does not need to be so with you – from you – or around you.

Take courage.


Anonymous said...

Many years ago, a friend of mine said that she removes from the Sunday paper the circulars which contain lingerie ads. She was concerned about her teenaged boys coming across such things in their home.

Liz said...

wow, great post father!

Carol said...

I wouldn't say I'm easily shocked, but last eve (not night-- eve), a commercial came on that made me wonder if one of my 5 or 6 (non-Spanish, that is) channels was suddenly channeling the porn channel. I was sick to think any child (or anyone, for that matter) was enduring it. I'd like to slap the face of some sneaker (!) manufacturer, and of whomever at the show approved that raw moment.

I've not received any sexting (it'd be doubly weird at 57, if so!), but I can well imagine what goes around and what it does. Back when I first came online, I changed my screen name in a Catholic chat room to a humourously male one and put up a picture of David Niven, so that guys would no longer try their luck with me in "whispers." Well, what happened after that was almost worse; *fellow* Catholic guys would whisper me that they had a problem that was killing them, and asked my advice. The problem was addiction to online porn. Indeed, satan's awfully busy, and Catholics are his first target. A timely post, Fr. V.

Anonymous said...

"Light" porn from your friends--yup, on facebook, on friend's blog sites--I really hate this type of "joking around." It hurts my heart.

We are not sex objects--men or women--sex is sacred and needs to be treated as such. For anyone to promote this--for laughs or for blog ratings--or for comments--well they are exploiting others for their own gain--not nice, not nice at all.

Anonymous said...

A few years ago, on Easter Sunday, my 21-year old son had to by-pass receiving the Precious Blood because "the minister wasn't dressed" (his words). Her dress was so low cut and revealing that my husband said, "There was no place else to look" as she handed my husband the cup. This young lady seemed clueless. What does a celebrant do when a minister shows up at the altar wearing such an "outfit," as he begins to distribute Holy Communion. Father?

Liz said...

my church has a supply of one size fits all cardigans in the sacristy and if a female is not dressed appropriately she will be asked (by another female) to cover up