This is a short excerpt from this past Sunday's homily.
Last Thursday night we had a Parish Council meeting and somebody asked the question, “Is our parish seen as a place where a family contemplating seeking an abortion might come to seek council?”
Wow, what a question. It made me stop and think.
I looked up some surveys online and the general gist is that women who have had abortions say they didn’t approach fellow church goers or their pastors because they feared they would be looked down upon.
Wow again. That kind of stings.
As a Church we provide help for those experiencing unexpected pregnancies. Parishes raise funds for and volunteer at pregnancy clinics. We provide resources and counseling for those who choose life. As a Church we provide counseling for mothers who had abortions and who are now grieving. But in the very teeth of this action, can we love as God chooses to love us even with all of our faults and failings? Whereas we can ever approve, assist, or give permission for this drastic act, can we none-the-less be seen as non-condemnatory and loving to the point that someone so desperate that they are contemplating having an abortion may see each and every one of us as a person to approach for prayer and guidance?
To lead them back to the God who loved them even before they were knit together in their Mother’s womb?
5 comments:
What if I were to tell you that I am from St. Sebastian parish and when I heard this homily I cried, I cried again today reading this blog. I am someone who almost 20 plus years ago had an abortion. I am saddened every day by my decision. Most of my friends and family do not even know that I did this. I have confessed this terrible mortal sin many years ago but often wonder how God could forgive me, when I can’t forgive myself.
Anonymous- Oh, I wish I could give you a hug. I can tell you, you are not alone. Our culture isn't even alone history, abortions have existed for a very long time. This struggle of ours with our motherhood and femininity has always been ours. We are all your sisters and we all struggle in our own ways.
There is nothing we can do that God can't forgive. That's why I think we struggle to accept and comprehend His mercy. It is really hard.
I'll pray for you and I hope you'll find some peace.
-M
Dear Father,
The question was asked, “Is our parish seen as a place where a family contemplating seeking an abortion might come to seek council?” The answer is, “ Yes. Yes we are. However, We must constantly strive to do better.” That question has no stinger.
You wrote, “ Women who have had abortions say they didn’t approach fellow church goers or their pastors because they feared they would be looked down upon.” Ok, whose fault is that? Is that 1000% the fault of the Church and her people? No. I get “looked down upon” a hundred times a day for a hundred reasons. And its not just because
I am married. My Pastor has never looked down upon me. Askance, perplexed maybe, but never down.
You wrote, “ Can we love as God chooses to love us even with all of our faults and failings?” The answer is, “NO, of course not. However, we must constantly strive to do better.”
You asked, “Can we none-the-less be seen as non-condemnatory and loving to the point that someone so desperate that they are contemplating having an abortion may see each and every
one of us as a person to approach for prayer and guidance?”
The answer is: “ NO! Most of us are, just not each and everyone of us. Give me a break.
As for myself, I will follow St. John Paul II, "Every woman who has suffered an abortion must be given love, compassion and forgiveness." That is what the Catholics who are receiving the sacraments and practicing their faith do everyday.
I don't really have any solutions to offer.
But I can say that as a Catholic woman I struggle deeply with the pro-life movement in the Church. I agree with the teachings but....
Abortion and the rejection of traditional womanhood wasn't shouted at the street corners it was whispered in our ears. It was in books, movies, music. It was fostered by adults who paid attention to what was going on in our lives. Those adults found moments when we were treated poorly or unfairly and took advantage of the situation to promote the rejection of Truth.
Our response to that is signs on the street corner?
That's unfair. I know it is. But there is a part of me that wonders does the Church (as a whole) really take the well-being of women seriously or does it just want to push the law and social pressure back to "normal" and forget about it. After all, you don't really have to convince us if we don't have access.
Thank you for asking, Father V. It is really, really nice to see someone ask.
-M
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