In the past week, three separate but similar incidences have
occurred with people connect to this parish.
The details of all three are mixed together in order not to embarrass
those involved.
It goes something like this:
“Father, I received a phone call from my sister. They found my mother in a closet and want to
know if I want her. If not they are just
going to start throwing everything, including her, into a dumpster. What should I do?”
This is becoming less and less rare a conversation. (Life as a priest is interesting.) The reason it is becoming less rare is twofold: 1) The Church relaxed its rule against
cremation and 2) the continued loss of respect for the dignity of the person
including and especially the body.
The first: Now that
the Church is no longer fighting the heresy concerning the resurrection of the
body (there were those who were using cremation as a theological statement
against the Church’s teaching – go figure) it no longer feels it is necessary
to have a moratorium on cremation.
Unfortunately that coincided (secondly) with a growing
mentality of the person as an object rather than a subject (brilliantly pointed
out by a priest friend at a recent meeting.
Hi O) While living, the respect
and dignity that we owe other human beings because of their inherent nature of
being made in the likeness and image of God (even if they don’t look “right,”
or are too small or have thrown in it away . . . ) has greatly diminished
causing human beings to be objects to be used.
The greatest promoter of this mentality is porn. No, if you look at porn today, you will not
be a destroyer of humanity tomorrow, but nationally it feeds a mentality that some
people can be used and then discarded.
Abortion double feeds this.
It allows a woman (and in some incidences a man) to be used to fulfill a
personal sexual need and when everything goes according to Hoyle and another
person is conceived, the baby may be aborted thus cutting any natural ties you
may have had with the woman and any responsibility toward the child. I can walk away. For much the same reason contraception is
frowned upon.
A long list could be developed here but that will suffice.
So now there is Great Aunt Feefee’s ashes. Instead of treating her body with great
reverence and giving ancient custom of respectfully burying the body (even if it
is only ashes), the body becomes an object to be used. It is made into jewelry, passed out like
party favors, or kept on display on the mantle until it ends up in a closet and
someone else divesting an estate comes across it and throws it in the trash.
OF COURSE holding on to ashes is done with the best of
intentions. People have the desire to be
close to their loved one and to have a connection. But as Catholics we believe in the communion
of saints. The connection we have
through prayer is far more real and immediate.
A body is much different than holding on to a rosary or picture or piece
of jewelry. We owe our loved ones the
dignity of being a subject in their own right and to treat their body as a
former Temple of the Holy Spirit, not an object of our desire to be turned in
to a conversation piece.
2 comments:
I am astounded that people would actually throw someone's ashes in a dumpster. That is appalling.
I had a very bad discussion about this with my father (non Christian). His wishes are to be passed around after cremation. I kindly declined but he said it wasn't an option. I told him fine, he would be buried when he go to me. He said he didn't want to be, wants to forever travel - I told him he would have to make that decision as that is what I WOULD do.
I am saddened that a lot are turning to cremation because they can not afford a proper burial. That saddens me. Also, allowing the person to be cremated before the funeral Mass (so there is a box with pic beside it for Mass) saddens me.
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