Sorry that there was not a post yesterday. Coming back from a short vacation there was simply not time to do all that was necessary around the parish and get the blog up and running again.
The sacrament of confession has no traditional social rites
attached to it though in this day and age we tend to have a celebration for
just about any achievement no matter how minor including “graduating” from
kindergarten. Occasionally after a first
confession there might be a small token of celebration such as the family being
together and perhaps having a special treat.
But what is happening here is a healing; a spiritual healing - so the
proper response would be one of thanksgiving, not of merry making. For example, upon leaving a doctor’s office
cured of a sore throat one does not have a party, (though in celebration of
being able to swallow again one might enjoy an ice cream cone while giving
thanks to God for being made whole again.)
True manners, when going to confession, is being prepared
and doing that which one is called upon to do.
This includes being punctual.
Seeing that confessions are from 7 to 8PM and showing up a few seconds
before 8 is not being punctual. The
priest may need to begin Mass or some other function. It is best to show up earlier in the confession
time to assure that you have your confession heard.
It is also polite to all others to be prepared. The confessional is the wrong place to start
doing an examination of conscience or to read through an examination and say, “Okay,
I didn’t do that one. This one I kinda
did . . .” Upon entering the
confessional one should be ready with their sins in mind ready to confess them. Also, avoid explanations and excuses for sins
and other people’s culpabilities in them.
(But he makes me so mad when he chews with his mouth open like
that!) Take my word for it that God
already knows all of this. If the priest
needs more information in order to understand, he will ask you. Also, Mrs. Fenner rightly recommends avoiding
Lent and Advent seasons for making a general confession during the posted hours
since these can go on for quite some time.
One must always keep in mind those waiting in line (or who might show up
while you are in the confessional) waiting to have their sins forgiven – that
they might not miss out because confessions are going unnecessarily long and
either they or the priest must leave.
How sad a thought that is.
(N.B. That is NOT to say that it
cannot be done during these times if your spiritual life is in danger, only that if it can be
avoided, it should be.)
There are times for general confessions, questions, and
longer detailed confessions. I highly recommend
making an appointment for such a confession.
In this way there is no fear of someone behind you having to be turned away from
the sacrament and the priest not being distracted about time. Any priest worth his salt will make such an
appointment available to you.
Bear in mind that the confessional is not, generally speaking, a time for counseling. Though some may take place, counseling occurs at other times. This time is set aside for individuals to celebrate this sacrament.
In waiting in line or going into the body of the church to
pray afterword, one moves away from the confessional so as not to be able to
hear what is going on in there. If
anything is heard, it is ignored, forgotten, and forever unspoken. Making conversation with fellow penitents in
the confessional line is rude and disturbing to those who may be trying to
recall (or keep in mind) their sins or trying to do their penance and should be
avoided except when absolutely necessary.
The point is to make confession as private and meditative for others as
you wish for it to be for you. This includes communal confessions (different from general absolution) when one is obliged to remain in the church until all have gone to confession and have prayed the prayer of thankgiving together at the end of the service.
And good manners are good manners even with God. After receiving absolution it is good
practice to stop in the church even if one’s penance does not call for it, and
give thanks to God for the sacrament received.
3 comments:
Thank you for these pointers/reminders/rules. They are very much appreciated. I never associated etiquette with confession. I confess I have not always followed these rules but plan to do so in the future.
Hi Father -
One thing you did not address is posture while waiting for Confession. At my parish, we had always stood in line quietly, lining up under the First Station. After we merged, some of those waiting decided to sit in the pews to wait (none of these people were handicapped or elderly, BTW). It was not the custom at their old parish to sit in the pews to wait, so I'm not sure where this came from. When I stood in the usual place, I got hissed at from those in the pews, who told me they were all ahead of me. When I told them I seemed to be the only one in line and that no one could tell who was going next if they all sat down, I was impolitely told too bad - that was the way it is now.
Anyway, I found it impossible to go to Confession under those conditions (so I started to go to your good Fr. Pfeiffer). I'm one of those who has to shove herself through the Confessional door because I dread it so much, and to sit around, chatting and discussing who is going to go next like I was at a picnic just did not cut it - I need to concentrate and put myself in the right frame of mind to approach Confession.
I mentioned it to my pastor, and he put out a sign indicating the line starts under the First Station, but it was met with only partial success. I really would prefer to go to Confession at my own parish (as excellent a Confessor Fr. Pfeiffer is, and I am very grateful for him), but this seems to be the only solution for me.
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