IN LIKE A LION OUT LIKE A LAMB

What do you expect when you go into a confessional? It is interesting to hear people who have come out of what they interpret as “a really good confession” describing what made it such a positive experience for them. The problem in listening to try to discern what might be helpful for me to know as a confessor is that they are often opposites. One person might say, “The priest was so kind. He listened and gave me penance without making me feel worse about what I had done.” But there is also, “The priest kind of kicked me in the posterior and told me that I had to stop doing what I was doing and take control of my life! I really needed someone to kick me.”

I take the general tact of being a lion in the pulpit but a lamb in the confessional. This stems primarily from a guy I talked to my first year at the University of Akron. He was a bit older than I and somehow we got on the topic of confession. He told me about going to the sacrament when he got home from serving in the military and thought he would make a clean slate of it by confessing to the priest. I guess the priest was scandalized by whatever it was the man said, told him that he that he was to identify himself as Mr. X and that he was to report back next week for a continuation of his haranguing. He never went back to church again.

When I arrived at St. Sebastian I saw this scribbled on the side of the hearing impaired phone in the confessional. I image a priest sitting there with a pen in his hand, head resting against the side of the confessional box finding himself becoming frustrated with what was being said and scribbling this little note to himself, “Be kind.” It is easy to forget why you are there. You are nothing more than an instrument of God’s mercy. It is not yours to judge. You may need to clarify something or at times challenge someone in their behavior (or at least ask them to explore it) but except in some rare incidents (such as the person not the least bit remorseful rendering the confession null anyway) the priest is there to convey the gift that he was given freely to pass on – forgiveness.

So it is a long day, confessions are going long, and I grow tired and annoyed I do my best to err toward being too kind rather than gruff. Sometimes I worry about seeming soft on sin or perhaps I do not give that kick in the posterior that some of my confessees really need. But we trudge along, some of us being too kind, some of us being too tough – but ultimately it is the Holy Spirit who works in spite of us priests and I pray that He act where I fail to perceive that more attention or action is needed with those who brave the confessional line to tell God (not me! – though I do represent the community) they are sorry.

That is why there is a priest for everyone, not an everyone’s priest.

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