DON'T SETTLE FOR SECOND BEST

If you have a creek that flows through your property that you absolutely appreciate and want to clean the water that runs through it, it would be wise to first clean the head waters that are not on your property.  If the water that comes in is clean, that means the water on your property will be cleaner.  If you care for that which is first, second things are cared for better.  

It’s a rough analogy, but that is kind of what Jesus was talking about when He said, very bluntly, “He who loves (mother, father, son, daughter . . . ) more than Me is not worthy of Me.”  (Matthew 10:37).  Very often someone will say that they find it difficult to love God more than a spouse or child as if by loving God first, their loved one is loved less.  This is not the case.  In fact, it is the opposite.

God is not a source of love.  God IS love itself.  He is the river and source of all love that flows into your life.  Although we say that there are different kinds of love, there is not.  There is only one love and it comes from God.  There are different appropriate expressions of it, but there is only one love.  If we love God first, second persons are not loved less but are loved more in keeping with their nature - they are loved better and more fully.

Placing all of one’s hopes of being loved, of being cared for, of being protected and appreciated on a human person is too much for any human to bear.  It is hanging a hat on a hook that cannot support the weight.  That weight is to be borne by God.  Placing it entirely on another human person leaves us extremely vulnerable to disappointment or devastation.  

Building first on the love of God takes an extreme pressure off of a relationship and leaves both far less vulnerable.  It helps give them the security of being loved while not taxing each other for a sense of self worth and dignity.  That all flows from upstream, purifying the waters of love and making it far easier to tend to.  

Our faith is not just about following a bunch of rules, it is about discovering how we thrive best.  As creatures we have certain conditions in which we flourish.  Loving God first is one of those ways in which human relationships grow to their potential.  Cutting God out of that process or making it secondary is placing true love on a back burner in favor of something less worthy and effective.  Unknowing, perhaps, they want less than God.

EASY COME EASY GO?

Do you every wish/pray that a particular temptation will be taken away so that you might be free to be a better Christian/spouse/parent/friend/sibling/child . . .

You know . . . if it wasn’t for this strong desire (maybe addiction) you could be such a better man or woman for others.  It is awful!  The temptation seems to sit there at the back of your mind, waiting for a moment of quiet or the right opportunity to flare up and demand your attention.  Your love would be purer if only God would grant this one wish - perhaps it is the wish that Paul had - take this thorn from my side.

Now maybe it would be a good thing for it to go away.  Maybe you would be happier.  Maybe life would be easier.  But it does not necessarily mean that you will love better or truer.

 

Think of it this way:  If the person you choose to love lives in the same, safe, middle class home with you and each morning you can wake up and kiss that person on the nose and say, “I love you.”  That is nice and loving and beautiful and doesn’t cost you much.  But if that person lives in the next city over of a war torn country and in order to see that person, you had to sneak out of your nice, safe, secure, comfortable house at night where you could be perfectly comfortable and overcome fear, trepidation, and a strong instinct toward self-preservation.  Then finding that person and kissing that person on the nose and saying, “I love you,” seems a bit more meaningful..

And so it is with these terrible desires.  It is one thing to love someone when it is easy.  It is another to defy these tuggings at your thoughts, the shouting in your ears and choose the good - to love another as best you can.  They may not always understand the battleground through which you pass in order to prove your love, how easy it would be to be sucked in to the hole of self interest but that you fight your way through to your love’s door in sometimes heroic battles because that person is worth it, deserves love, and is far more valuable than any earthly desire.  That too can seem more meaningful.

For it is one thing never to be tempted and never sin for love of God, it is quite another to be bitterly tempted and choose not to sin for love of God.

THE TEST THAT TAKES YEARS TO COMPLETE

Who do you call father?

For many people it is not that easy of a question.  Simply donating part of himself in order for you to be created does not necessarily earn a man the title father other than on some governmental and ecclesial forms.  The coach that treats you well and teaches you how to be a man or woman might earn the title over the guy who gave five minutes of his time to see that you were conceived and then never had much of a positive role in your life again.

Calling someone your father or “father figure” implies a good and healthy relationship.  It means that there is a certain amount of trust and security between the two in order for one to call the other father.  It means that the title has been earned.

In today’s Gospel we are given permission to call God, “Our Father.”  We are called His children, brothers and sisters in Christ.  The ramifications are mind blowing.  In all of mythology, what other god asked to be called father?  In fact, most Muslims would find referring to God as Our Father as bordering if not downright blasphemy.  Yet we are instructed to do this by Jesus.

Jesus’ entire mission was to restore the rifts between each of us and between us and our Heavenly Father.  Original sin began the rift and His mission was to restore the relationship.  At the Mass, the highpoint of this unity with God is when we are present for the offering of Christ when the priest intones, “Through Him, with Him, in Him . . . all glory and honor is Yours Almighty Father for ever and ever” and the congregations cries out, “Amen!  Amen! Amen!”  At this point, assuming that we are in a state of grace, we are as closely untied to Our Father as we can be in this life.  And what are the first words out of our mouth after this moment?  We dare to say, “Our Father, Who are in heaven, hollowed be Thy Name . . .”

This Sunday is Father’s Day.  When you pray that prayer this Sunday at Mass realize the full import of that moment and that word and say it with awe, reverence, humility, gratitude, and love.

WHEN LESS IS MORE

In the most recent Sherlock Holmes movie ("Mr. Holmes" starring Ian McKellen) we see Holmes retired in a remote country home with a servant. Holmes is distant and the housekeeper somewhat frustrated.  Clearly she has more skin in the game and therefore Holmes, as her employer and almost sole source of humanity (poor girl!) is in control of the relationship.

Later, the tables are turned, and when the housekeeper no longer needs Holmes, having had enough of him and finding a new job, it is Holmes who now has much more skin in the game and she becomes the more powerful of the two in the relationship.

In any given relationship (family, friends, lovers) one person is always more in love than the other.  And it is the one less in love who is in control.  Because it takes two to Tango, it is the one who loves less who's veto or disinterest determines just how far any relationship will go.  The satiated one forces the other to diet.  

There are two important things with this (maybe more, but we'll stick with two today.  I want to get my breakfast.)  One is, if you find a person who will continue to love you when that person has had enough, that is the person to marry.  That is true love.  To be chosen even when the other person no longer receives any further consolation.  Wow.  That is love in it's rarest form.

The other is to remember that God is crazy about you though He receives no consolation from it.  God is complete.  He IS love.  Yet, He made you.  He redeemed you.  He was made humble for you and was born into this world.  He lived for you, taught for you, and performed miracles so that you would believe.  He was arrested for you, tortured for you, and died for you.  He came back for you.  He makes available to you His dignity, His power, and His inheritance.  It would seem there was nothing left to give and then He made His Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity available to you as the Eucharist.  I can't even imagine anything left that He could give except for His infinite patience and mercy. 

And as those who love less than our Lover, we are in control.  He will not force anything on us (another sign of His love and respect.)  The Bridegroom will love the Bride as fully as she we allow.  How deeply it goes is entirely up to us.  And no matter how deeply you allow Him to love you, you will never probe the depths.  

DO NOTHING WITH ME

One way to know if you are in love is if you waste time with the person.  Nothing is accomplished, no project finished, no true destination reached, maybe even no meaningful information exchanged, but just the same there is joy for having spent time together.  Lovers and friends can sit in a field and watch the clouds pass or the sun go down and just enjoy being in each other’s company.

 

It may just be a personal hang up, but this idea is why I become annoyed (very much so) when I am with someone and they spend their time checking and sending texts with invisible people whether or not we are in the depths of a meaningful conversation.  A ten hour car ride is one thing, the period of time while awaiting your turn at a board game is another.  Perhaps I am greedy, but I am here to spend time with you, not with a board game, and I want you to waste it with me.  If I am not enough, then let’s quit the pretense if the game and either do something else, or I’ll grab my book while you decide to engage others.  I do not want to be “fit in.”

 

The idea of wasting time is also a great definition of the prayer of contemplation or adoration; “Wasting time with God” Who deigns to waste time with us.  Our entire relationship with God is not one of attacking and subduing the world, or carrying on a conversation while we are also power walking or driving, but having, in this world’s eyes, completely unproductive time just to sit and be with the other.  “Be still, and know that I am God,” is so beautiful when we think that we have a God Who will be still and know us. 

NO PAIN - NO GAIN - RO GAIN

So Father B and I were traveling about and needed to take a room somewhere in Pennsylvania. I went to work out in the hotel exercise room and when I returned B was watching a televangelist. I think a lot of these people preaching for such a long period of time week after week. It must be difficult. But five minutes into it we found ourselves saying, “Please say something of substance – please say something of substance.” It was like a long drawn out joke in which a person gives too many details before the punch line. Perhaps an hour sermon (for some – others are really quite good) say as much of substance as priests (are supposed to) do in an eight minute homily.

This particular man (and I would like to emphasize that I am talking about one preacher who was unassociated with a denomination) was going through great lengths to tell people that God wants them to be successful, rich, and happy. His prayer was that this is exactly where his congregation would find itself so that others would look at them and now that God is blessing them because of their wealth and happiness show that they must have truth.

Apparently the crucifixion was lost on him.

He is far from alone in the idea that if we are good enough, if we pray enough, if we are well practicing Christians then God will give us the high life. I would want to believe this! If I were a bit more naive and thought this message possible, I would gobble it up. Why not? What would I have to lose? Why not go with the guy who promises wealth and happiness from God?

Because it is a false promise.

There are not many non-Catholic Christians out there they see the merit in redemptive suffering. It is precisely when we suffer and remain true to God that we are refined like silver in the furnace, becoming more pure, more holy, even closer to God. Love of another human being is exactly the same. A couple that never has difficulties never truly grows in love for neither must sacrifice for the other. It is exactly when sacrifice is necessary, practiced and given freely that love, which is at first tried, becomes a deeper, more mature love.

Why do we purposefully practice acts of denial, charity, and penance in this season? Exactly to train ourselves to love and focus on God. This helps us prepare for those times when trial will hit us involuntarily. This will enable to trust God to see us through difficult times – to love Him just the same and not blame Him for our woes. It is redemptive because love will be tested and found then stronger than ever.

If you need proof, contemplate His Son’s Cross, or Job, or the Virgin Mary, or the violent life and death of those closest to Jesus such as the apostles, of Saint Paul, of the Martyrs, of the missionaries, of those who stand alone in their faith, of those persecuted for believing in Him – there is a reason they are now called saints – it was not because God made them wealthy and happy in an earthly sense – but wealthy in love and full of joy even when there were tears and trials.

TO BE OR NOT TO BE - DOES IT MATTER?

THE FOLLOWING IS A STUDY OF WHAT HAPPENS WHEN THE TELEVISION IS NOT WORKING. BE WARNED. THIS COULD HAPPEN TO YOU.

(Written before election results know.)

There is a theory out there that says if you have a million monkeys typing randomly on a million typewriters they will eventually produce the entire works of William Shakespeare in Church Latin with footnotes. I suppose it is possible that this is true but probably impossible to prove because of the difficulties in finding a million typewriters these days and no computer’s shelf life lasting long enough to put this theory to the test.

This is the same theory that is used to say that human life came about. Without any Divine plan (some would say) and through absolutely random occurrences life began and developed into what has become millions upon millions of people typing on millions of computers randomly hoping to reproduce something as spectacular as William Shakespeare’s writings. Good luck.

This blows our minds – the Shakespeare part - that such incredible order would be wrought out of such randomness. But of course it is not randomness. Not entirely. There is already the substructure of letters and a limited number of ways which they can be put together because of the mechanics of the typewriter. For this theory to really take off, we would have to say (and in essence we do) that left to itself, primordial ooze will eventually reproduce the Bard’s complete opus.

You know, I could almost buy this theory for the creation of humans if we only had the power to see, or if we only had the power to hear. But we have the power to see, to hear, to smell, to feel, and to taste. But that is not all. These also work in concert and we have cognitive abilities to put them together and come to conclusions based on the information. “I see a threatening sky, I hear thunder, I feel rain, I better seek shelter.” Have you ever thought about this? How absurdly incredible this is? I can’t even get my computer to talk to my printer. The sheer magnitude of the genius of the human person astounds me. The mathematical probabilities verge on the unimaginable that it is all a random fluke. (Although I am assured that we are dealing with almost infinite time and infinite situations which makes it possible for primordial ooze to create Elizabethan literature. At this point an infinite God seems a more sane possibility.)

But if a fluke, it is also sad. Existence is a fluke. What greater good is there to appreciate it? Why recycle that water bottle? To save life for the next generation? Why? It really would not matter if the next generation existed or not. Who cares? They can't. As soon as my body temperature drops a few degrees and there is six feet of organic matter piled on top of a box holding a once fluke of life, I will not rest assured that I did good for future generations. I won’t care. As a matter of fact, I won’t be able even to not care. And there will be no cognitive force to think, “Gee, isn’t that too bad?” It is not good to exist and evil not to. There just is existing and not existing. But statistically, with enough time, primordial ooze will congeal back and “I” will exist again given enough sub atomic particles are given enough typewriters.

Extreme rationalism can explain this whole un-mess including our desire for our God. “We invented God in order to be able to handle life.” Actually any explanation for our desire for God is permissible except for the easiest: That there is God – and if nothing else, He guided the million atoms on their typewriters.

In the end I accept the wager that there is God that gives meaning, direction, hope, and joy to us in this life, especially this month in which we remember the Poor Souls. Beauty must have meaning outside of me or it isn’t beauty. It is a card shark’s game in which we will all lose and it won’t matter.

THE SIXTY SECOND TEST OF HAPPINESS

Please keep this between you and me. I know I’ve railed against Law and Order SVU, but I was so tired last night I couldn’t think and veged in front of the television and watched an episode. In it there was a lady who lied to the police. They looked at each other and pondered how on earth a sweet old lady such as her could lie to the police. They then realized that she was dying and could care less about the consequences. This world and everything in was passing away. Her loyalty was no longer to anyone or anything in this world. She had the freedom to act as she pleased.

Of course another name for this is anarchy. But what if one were to have that freedom focused in a positive direction; to have the freedom live fully in love with Christ without wanting or needed to worry what others think or expect?

I had a spiritual director once who called this, “Being wild.” He showed us a rock and said, “See the rock? The rock is wild. It won’t do anything except be a rock no matter what you think of it or expect it to be.” Well, Okay, maybe that was a bit “Kung Fu”, but it helps get the picture across.

“The Bucket List” is a movie out right now that follows a couple of guys around trying to get in everything they want to experience before the “kick the bucket.” (My Dad was a whole lot like this.) Mimicking this the Plain Dealer today asked some local celebrities what they would put on their bucket list. That tells you a lot about a person. Some mentioned sexual conquests or drinking beer at an Oktoberfest in Munich while others mentioned working with Doctors Without Borders or ridding Cambodia and the world of a few more land mines. Wow.

But an idea more important than "what do you want to get in" comes from this quote I’ve been contemplating found in The Sun magazine. It is the question of how would you feel if there was no more time to get anything in. It is along the lines of, “Be still and know that I am God.”

“Stop reading for a moment,” well, after you are done reading this, “and imagine that you are going to die in one minute. The last thing you are going to experience are reading these pages, sitting in this room, thinking and feeling what you are think and feeling right now. This is the end of your life . . .You have no time to write a note or make a phone call. All you can do is experience what is, right now. This is a very simple exercise, but it is quite profound. It brings you into presence very quickly. You stop fighting, you stop needing, you stop being concerned with physical comfort, you stop wanting, you stop achieving, and you stop maintaining. Enlightenment, attainment, realization all become meaningless. You are just present.” Ken McLeod

Well, that wasn’t exactly true for me because I was reading this in the little monsignor’s room and so would have taken care of a couple things before dropping over on the tile floor. But just the same it made me think, “If this is it right now am I Okay with that? Would I be ashamed of my life right now or basically Okay with what I am leaving behind?”

As a priest I see people at the end of the line from time to time who regret their lives terribly and in trembling wish to start doing something about it now, but that is only because the taste of death is already in their mouths and now have the opportunity to stop and realize how self-centered their lives were. “If God would give me one more chance I would . . .” Unfortunately it is often the case that there is not going to be more time and so I advise that they pray for and about that which is important to them, at least offering that up. Sometimes that helps, sometimes it doesn’t. But boy does it teach the lesson that a little bit of sacrifice in life sure makes up for feeling unprepared to face death.

As much as I would have hated for it to be in the bathroom, I think I would have been at peace when I read that quote. One thing I did wish was that I’d not left such a mess behind so plan on cleaning my office today. I wrote a couple of notes to people telling them I was thinking of them and thought to write you this. That’s about as far as I got in 60 seconds.