IS IT ADAM'S ALE BLOG OR ADAM'S ALE'S BLOG?

Now for something controversial:  The name of your parish.

 

Catholics are at odds concerning the exact name of their parish.  Let us take, for example, the name of this parish:  St. Sebastian.  This is not St. Sebastian’s Church.  To begin with, we are part of the Roman Catholic Church, not St. Sebastian’s Church.  We are properly known as St. Sebastian Parish.  The church (little “c”) is the building in which we have Mass.  The Church (with a capitol “C”) is the greater Catholic Church.  So if you were going to say (or print) St. Sebastian church (with the little c) you mean a specific building on the campus.  If you say it with a capitol C, you are talking about a schism.  (Okay, that may be a little bit extreme, mostly said for comedic effect, but you get the point.)  The point is this is St. Sebastian Parish.

 

And it is NOT St. Sebastian’s Parish.  (I am sure I’ll get some push back on this.)  He doesn’t own it.  It is named after and enjoys the intercession of this (really cool) saint, but it is not his property.  Sacred Heart Parish is not “Sacred Heart’s Parish” nor is Sweetest Heart of Mary Parish in Detroit named “Sweetest Heart of Mary’s Parish.”  Your local elementary school is not King’s Elementary.  It is King Elementary.  So this parish is properly known as St. Sebastian Parish.

 

So, these work:

 

St. Sebastian Parish (everyone and everything connected to this place.)

St. Sebastian Roman Catholic Church (if you want to specify to whom we belong)

St. Sebastian church (if you want to specify where something is taking place at the parish)

St. Sebastian Parish Church (if you want a formal title for that building.)

FRIDAY POTPOURRI: II VS JUNIOR

I promise, this is the last installment for names.  But unlike last week, some of this advice actually has application in Catholic etiquette.  If you recall, this week involves the application of the name which you chose.

But first, let us dispense with the last bit of free advice, from our hostess Mrs Fenner, that has nothing to do with Catholic specific advice.  She is not a big fan of giving children nicknames.  Monsignor Manners is a big fan of nicknames because as a child he never got one.  To distinguish him from all of the other “John”s he was the one most often designated to stick with “Johnny,” and name he abhors, (not for other people – but for himself) while all of the other guys got cool nicknames.  It was not until high school that I received my first true nickname and it was all downhill from there.  Now I’ve had so many I can’t remember them all.  (Don’t ask.  I won’t tell you.)

Of course Mrs. Fenner supports the idea of calling one’s child by one of his Christian names, “really, the sensible thing to do,” but if one must pick a nickname to be very judicious.  “Never call a boy Junior even though he is.  It is the worst possible taste.”  Others names she prefers we would all pass on are “Baby, Buzzie, Sister, Buddie, Sonnie, Toots, etc.”  If one is going to pick a nickname, pick one that will grow with the child for “names will be outgrown, but may not be shaken off.”  From a guy who was almost nicknamed “Kit” by his father, I appreciate that comment.

Now on to more important things.  Some of these are more important than others.  To start, it is often the practice to name a son after his father.  John Adam Doe may have a son that he names John Adam Doe.  The son, as long as his father is alive, may be called John Adam Doe Jr.  (If “junior” is written out, it is never capitalized.)  The father, save for common speech or for business reasons, is never referred to as “senior.”  “Senior” is never printed.  “It would be better to say, ‘the senior Mr. Doe’ if one wishes to make the distinction.”  The young Mr. Doe loses his “Jr.” title upon the death of his father for all official purposes.

If, while the senior Mr. Doe is still alive, Mr. Doe Jr. has a son, the first two Mr. Does do not change their titles but the youngest Mr. Doe becomes Mr. John Adam Doe III.  Upon the death of grandpa, the third becomes Mr. John Adam Doe Jr.

Now, if instead of the senior Mr. Doe naming his son after himself he had named him Jeffery Alexander Doe but Jeff named his son after his Dad, then the son would be named Mr. John Adam Doe II.  Subsequently if another child in the family is given the same name, say by Jeff’s brother Joseph, he would be Mr. John Adam Doe III and so forth.  If the sons who are demarcated by numerals in turn have sons to whom they pass on the name John Adam Doe, they are given the title “Jr.”  The numeric Mr. Does lose their numbers at the death of the common ancestor. 

In the United States it is not our practice to retain our numbers no matter how attached we become to them.  “It is considered affected,” according to Mrs. Fenner.  They are retained properly in certain circumstances and for the convenience of reference.  John Paul II retains his numbers for ease of reference to his papal era.

So as far as parish records are concerned, numbers and “juniors” are not recorded since they are not permanent parts of one’s name.  Families may be in a parish for many generations so there would be constant crossing outs and re-designations for such names.  It is far better to have birth dates when trying to trace a family name in parish records.  Simply saying, “No!  I want the John Adam Doe Jr.” may not be helpful save for the very savvy secretary who has no way of knowing who is and who is not numbered. 

Go here to generate your child's pirate name for life. 

Next week – guests, robes, and pictures.

FRIDAY POTPOURRI: HOW TO SCAR YOUR CHILD FOR LIFE PART II

Continuing the discussion on naming your baby, Mrs. Fenner, who I otherwise highly respect, begins a rather lengthy discussion on certain names that should be avoided and some of it is a little sensitive for modern readers and we’ll skip those parts.  And once again, though this is from the book Amercian Catholic Ettiquette, I have little understanding what this has to do with Catholics in particular.

She abhors any name that makes a boy sound like a “sissy” if for no other reason that it makes growing up with such a name difficult.  She certainly would not approve of the Johnny Cash song, “A boy named Sue.”  Reginald and Percy are certainly not acceptable names for a boy in the United States though, “they are suitable for English boys.”  Perhaps Mrs. Fenner is not so found of the English.  I think the English perfectly respectable people.

 

When my first sister was born they thought it was going to be me (they would have to wait another 16 years) and my Dad wanted to name me Christopher because of a highly popular nickname at the time for this name was “Kit” that my Dad thought was of some snappy value for some reason.  I think both Mrs. Fenner and Monsignor Manners would not have approved.  Fortunately the nickname was out of fashion by 1965.

She has some concern for those with “common names” such as Smith or Baker.  “Pick a distinctive baptismal name,” she recommend “for the purposes of identification”.  I understand what she means.  My last name is fairly uncommon but my first, “John”, though a great and strong name, was very common growing up.  I had an uncle and a grandpa John, five classmates in grade school named John, and two of my five priestly classmates were named John.  Hence, I rarely, if ever, went or go by the name John.  If anyone ever calls me by the familiar “Father John,” you know that they do not know me well at all.  

One way to achieve distinction is to use the child’s mother’s maiden name as a middle name.  (Careful though, remember what I told you about Andrew Kernin last week.)  She does oppose it for Scottish and Irish families however.  “Who wants ‘J. McA. McS’ for initials?”  Back to the monogrammed bath towels dilemma.  Can you imagine the size of cufflinks one would have to wear?

Now: Syllables!  Like poetry, one must be careful with the number of syllables in your child’s name.  (I told you it was going to get harder.)  “Do not use three one syllable or three two syllable names for your child,” Mrs. Fenner suggests.  “There is nothing wrong with these names but when said together they sound like soldiers clumping along with heavy boots!”  Which may be exactly what you want when he is in trouble!  Imagine standing on your back porch and calling out, “John George Smith!  Get in here right now!”

“It is better to be trite than pretentious,” reports Mrs. Fenner, “but avoid both.”  She also recommends avoiding picking fashionable names.  Like good architecture, classical is always in fashion.  Fashionable always runs the high risk of dating oneself and eventually sounding trite.  “Bambie?  What an adorable name!  Let me guess when you were born.”

Then there is a the problem of too many of the same consonants or too many of the same vowel sounds.  She does not explain why but you can guess why a child with the name, “Lilly Loraine Little” might feel like the Littl’ ole’ Lady from Littl’ Italy.  I think my parents did quite well with “John Anthony Valencheck.”

That finishes up with the actual naming process, but there will be one more week concerning what to do with the name after it has been bestowed.  So go ahead, you may name your child now.  But wait one more week before you start using it.

FRIDAY POTPOURRI: HOW TO SCAR A CHILD FOR LIFE

There is perhaps no topic so personal as naming your child.  Everybody has an opinion – even the Church.  Mrs. Fenner has much to say though some of her advice has become politically incorrect – which is exactly why most of it should be followed.

There is the general custom among Catholics that a child be named after a saint.  At least part of his name should be after a saint.  It is an ancient custom stretching back to the early Church.  It gives the child a patron, “a protector and intercessor in heaven,” as Mrs. Fenner states.  Though I doubt God leaves a child unprotected who does not sport such a name.  But why not take advantage of such an opportunity?

 

Mrs. Fenner points out that when choosing a saints name, know which saint you are choosing.  This is so true.  For a long time I thought I was named after St. John the Baptist but as it turns out I found a medal with an eagle on it that was placed around my neck when I was born so apparently I was named after St. John the Evangelist.

So you want to name your child after St. Francis or St. Therese; which one of the many Francises and Thereses is it?  What an opportunity, during those story telling years, to tell your child about the saint after whom he was named.  Bearing this in mind you might want to carefully review the stories before naming him or her.  There’s no point in naming a child after a saint who caused too much of a raucous and then having them, after hearing the saint’s story during their formative years, become just like them much to your consternation.  “You are just like St. George!  Always going around slaying dragons!”  “But Moooooooom . . .”

I remember the (probably apocryphal) story of the man converting to Christianity and on his way to being baptized was questioned by the priest about his name.  “That certainly is not a saint’s name,” said the priest.  “Not yet!” replied the man.

There is the sole spiritual criteria for naming a child.  But, “on the question of taste in selecting a name, one could write volumes!” reports our hostess.  And she did write volumes.  “Parents should give consideration to the fact that a name is perhaps one’s most intimate possession, and that its suitability, or lack of it, is believed to exercise a profound influence upon the child.”

“Care should be taken that no name is chosen which could be used to ridicule.”  No matter how hard you try this might not be avoided.  My next door neighbor hid his middle name from us for years and years.  It was Kernin.  Why he hated it so is hard to tell.  Perhaps because it was so different.  In any event he later became quite proud of it as it was his mother’s maiden name.  But at least we can try not to add gas to the fire.

Mrs. Fenner abhors names such as “Iva” or “Ima” particularly when combined with last names that are also common nouns such as “Coward” or “Post.”  “’Rose’ as a second name is sometimes awkward; one should remember that ‘rose’ is also a verb.”  Monsignor Manners likes the name Rose however.

 

We are warned to review the initials we may be giving a child.  Watch what they spell!  “Carol Ann Thomas is a sensible name, but any girl so named will be called a “C.A.T.” by her teasing friends.”  Actually that seems rather a lovely nickname to me.  I’ve known some CATs and they were sweet ladies.  Other words to be avoided however are W.O.W., and P.O.P. and so on.

I Googled, “Unfortunate Initials” and found a whole stash of angry people.  People with names like “ETC” and “BLT.”

Monsignor Manners suggests a further step.  (Think things are hard already?  We’ve not yet begun to make the process difficult!)  Remember when your son has cufflinks or your daughter has embroidered towels that the initials will be mixed up.  Who wants to have Ulysess Holden Grant’s guest bathroom towels say U.G.H. to you every time you use them?

Even worse, remember we are in the unfortunate age of texting which brings together a whole new set of unfortunate initials.  William Theodore Fredrickson will never live down his initials.

Of course whatever this have to do with Catholic specific manners slips past Monsignor other than the command by God to love others.  I think Mrs. Fenner simply had to get out her opinion on such things.  But you are sticking this kid with something that will last a lifetime so it is wise to choose well.  Remember, these are the people who will be picking out your nursing home. 

There is more to come next week to complicate matters even further so don’t settle on a name yet!

WOULD A ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME REALLY SMELL AS SWEET?

Father, Son, and Holy Spirit are formal names.

We pray, “In the Name of . . .”

We baptize, “In the Name of . . .”

We bless, “In the Name of . . .’

We are saved by The Name above all other names.

We hold God’s Name as sacred.

But did you know that your name is sacred also? Not in the same degree, but sacred none the less.

When you received a name at your baptism it became your name for eternity. Even marriage is “until death do us part,” but your name is yours eternally. God calls us each by name and when He does so, “the mysterious and unique character of each person marked with God’s Name will shine forth in splendor.” (CCC 2158-2159)

A person’s name demands respect. It stands as an icon of the person and is a sign of the dignity of the person who bears it.

I hope you like your name.

HowManyOfMe.com

There are or fewer people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

10 million people in the word may have your name. That number could be multiplied a number of times over if one considers all those who may have your name in the Kingdom of Heaven. But in the mouth of God it is a unique calling. Like a parent who calls your name out in a crowded grocery store you know it is a distinct call to you. Only more so. Every angel, St. Thomas tells us, is so unique that each represents a sort of species unto its own. Our names are unique in a similar fashion and when God calls us by them 10 million people will not look up for all will know that he spoke your name and your name alone.


In this life he calls us to reflect Christ. We all cannot possibly reflect Christ perfectly. In fact we can only stumble about trying to be like Him partially. But He calls each of us by name to reflect Christ in our particular and unique way. We know what it is. It is a calling that rings something inside of us, makes us feel alive. It makes us excited to wake and tired but happy to bed. We are animated in talking about it. It is constructive and beautiful. Sometimes it seems unreasonable and often life tries to beat it out of us as we are called to fill our “normal” social roles.

What does your name mean?

This is not a calling to a vocation. That comes later. This is first a specific knowledge of what you are supposed to do or who you are supposed to be. It is a basic movement without a job title. Perhaps it is a movement toward the poor, or creating something beautiful, or imparting knowledge, or ennobling society. The list is endless. But when one finally hears his name being called and understands it (a process that hits many people in their 20s) then one needs to decide what kind of vocation will best allow for the living out of my calling.

Fake name and generator.

Then before the heavenly gates it will not only be a matter of how well you respected The Name, but how well you respected the name by which He called you.

WOULD AUNT ROSE BY ANY OTHER NAME STILL BE AS SWEET?

Like your name?

I hope so.

According to the CCC (2159), “The name one receives at baptism is a name for eternity”.

Hmmm.

Please don’t get me wrong. I really, really like my name. It is a strong name with lots O’ history. “JOHN.” It means, “God is gracious” or as some etymologies put it, “God’s most gracious gift.” But I never go by it. I never have. Only the bishop and my Mom ever call me John. I was named after my grandpa and the Evangelist. I also had an uncle with the name and have a cousin with it. There were 5 people in my grade school class with the name and so we all took variations on John. 40% of my seminary class had the name John. (Okay, there were only 5 of us, but still.) At my last assignment there was a Fr. John, a deacon John, a Fr. Sean, and I was replaced by a Fr. John. (Hence the beauty of going by the name Fr. Valencheck.)

I can see it for all eternity, God will call out, “John,” and millions of people will look up and He’ll be forced to say, “No, not you, THAT John.” And millions of people will say, “Oh.”

Well, maybe not. It seems that in eternity each person’s name and person will be marked with a unique character of God, kind of like a fingerprint I suppose. “In the kingdom, the mysterious and unique character of each person marked with God’s name will shine forth in splendor (CCC 2159).” John Smiths of the world worry not. You will be unique in heaven.

But wow! If naming sticks forever, giving someone a name is pretty serious stuff. Giving a name is a special privilege (as is having someone named after you.) It is not insignificant that God let Adam choose the names of all the living creatures. “Whatever the man called each of them would be its name (Gen 2:19)”.

God did His own fare share of naming. He named Jesus, His Son, as well as John the Baptist. In “recreating” a person He symbolized a new state of happiness, a new way of life; new life! “You shall be called by a new name . . .(Is 62;2)” Thus Abram became Abraham; Sarai becomes Sarah; Jacob, Israel; Simon, Peter; Saul becomes Paul.

Naming puts us in special relation. Kids name pets, some people name certain possessions (cars, homes), businesses pay big bucks to name stadiums, and those who make scientific discoveries get to name them. We give nicknames to people we love (or really don’t love).

But none of these are as important as giving someone a baptismal name. “At baptism, the Lord’s name sanctifies the man, and the Christian receives his name in the Church (CCC 2156).” (Isn’t interesting that confirmation is the first time we officially name ourselves just as we are told that now we are responsible for our faith and to be disciples that brings His Good News to the world? Of course, one may ratify his baptismal name at confirmation too.)

In ancient times a name was given to identify the essence, nature, or function of the individual. St. Thomas Aquinas says, “Now, the names of individual men are always taken from some property of the men to whom they are given. Either in regard to time; thus men are named after the Saints on whose feast they are born: or in respect of some blood relations; thus a son is named after his father or some other relation, . . . Or, again from some occurrence; thus Joseph called the name of the first-born Manasses saying, “God hath made me to forget all my labors (Gen XLI;51). Or, again, from some quality of the person who receives the name; thus it is written (Gen. Xxv;25) that he came forth first was red and hairy like a skin; and his name was called Esau, which is interpreted red.” (SummaQ37 art 2 pt III)

Saint Ambrose of Milan and St. John Chrysostom urged parents to name their children carefully as they thought it was being done haphazardly. The Roman Catechism urged parents not to give their children strange, laughable, or obscene names. Saints names were urged as they gave the recipient a model of charity and a sure intercessor upon whom they might rely. Not to be left out were names of Christian virtues (like Hope, although I do not recommend Chastity at the moment) or Christian mysteries (Anastasius [resurrection], Athanasius [immortality]). One could easily imagine one of our Protestant parents naming their children in this tradition and having someone come up to you one day and saying, “Hi! My name is Rapture and I will be your hostess today!”

All silliness aside, our name is considered an icon of the person. Considering the importance of what is meant by the word icon in the Eastern Church, this is pretty serious stuff. Everyone’s name is sacred and demands respect “as a sign of the dignity of the one who owns it (CCC 2158)”.

So no matter what your name, find a way to accept, appreciate, and celebrate it. In some way it is more beautiful than you can know and more unique than seems possible. It is that by which God calls you (Jn 10;3).

And if you should blessed to name a person, bear in mind not only the honor but the great responsibility is picking the name by which even God will call that person.




Here are some sites for names and their meanings.