One of THE most intimate things two people can do with each other, even over and above anything physical that they might do, is to pray together. During wedding prep I have had couples who were well versed in all of the things that should be put off until after their wedding day and are not the least bit shy about it, but ask them to pray together - alone - and more than just gra
ce or a Hail Mary (though I would be excited about that too) and many of them freak out - and I don’t use that phrase lightly.
Often, with these couples that I prompt to go home and try a prayer night, what I hear, when they report back, is, “It was so difficult! Prayer is such a personal thing!” These are with people who are about to become ONE and have done just about everything two people can do with each other (often including the man asking his partner to put poison in her body so that it cannot fulfill its mission to procreate) yet prayer is a wall that is almost too high for some to climb.
Why might this be? In prayer you are exposing yourself at an incredible depth to another person - especially if at least some of the prayer is free flowing. “What should we lift up to the Lord?” Generally, in this type of open prayer, what we are bringing forth are the things that scare us, the future that we hope for, what we want on the deepest level and what we want to avoid, our vision is expressed, we expose the depth of our love, the strength of our faith, and perhaps what we assume about the other with whom we are one. And all of this we invite the other to petition God with us that it might be realized or faced. That means that we need to be on the same page.
Being a Catholic Christian is not something we tack on to who we are like “scrapbooker” or “Indians fan.” These you can even despise and still love the other wholly - maybe even more so. But being Christian is essential to us like being male or female. If you cannot share or appreciate this, there is some serious discernment that needs to take place.