Monday, May 14, 2007

WILL POPE'S PEN BE MIGHTIER THAN THE BULLET?

Aparecida, Brazil As Pope Benedict XVI brought his visit to this mostly Catholic country to an end he made an urgent plea to the approximately one hundred thousand Catholics gathered to hear his final message to lay aside their body armor and embrace the meaning of life. His comment comes in direct conflict with a new government initiative to hand out free bullet proof jackets to offset the rising violence in Brazil’s public school system.

Gloria Thompson, a Catholic holding an, “I love my German Shepherd” banner says, “I understand the pope’s teaching but we make exceptions. I have two teenage boys in high school and I know that they are going to be in gunfights. The last thing I want is for one of them to end up in an early grave so I make sure they always have their vests on before leaving for school. What am I to do?”

Proponents of the free vest give away say that the pope’s message will only add to the carnage already wreaking havoc across this small Catholic nation. “We know our children,” says Maria Tutu of the Armour of Love Campaign, “They are going to play with guns. Without this vest we will have more children hurt and killed. Is that what the pope wants? In essence that is what he and the Catholic Church are saying, ‘we want more dead and injured children.’ I for one do not think that is what Jesus wants. He wouldn’t care about this stuff. He would say, ‘stay alive and enjoy life.’ That’s what this is really all about; living a full and active life. What does some eighty year old man in Rome know about life?”

The message is getting through to Brazil’s youth. The vests, which come in fashionable colors and cuts and with an amazing assortment of accessories have become all the rage in Brazil’s pop-culture. And even critics of the program must admit that, although gun activity has risen dramatically over the past couple of years, the percentage of deaths to gunfights has dropped steadily over that time. When the pope returns to Rome, Catholic leaders in this country will have a difficult time selling their message of death.
N.B. Yes! Yes! Yes! This is a fabrication. I'll clarify on Wednesday.

10 comments:

MJ said...

WOW!!! I consider myself a good and obedient Catholic but as a mother of 2 boys (late teens, early 20's), I would have a hard time following the Pope's suggestion. I certainly would not allow my boys to carry guns or teach them to retaliate but I would allow them to wear a vest to protect themselves. I would encourage them to work with other students and teachers to try and find a solution to the problem. But until then protect yourself.

Fr. V said...

Um,

JUST IN CASE anyone is taking this post seriously - Don't. I made it up. I'll explain on Wednesday.

MJ said...

You got me but then I'm pretty gullible!

Habemus Papam said...

Fr. V-
Perhaps a little confession may be in order. I know a few good priests if you need some recommendations.

Anonymous said...

Well, not that I'm not gullible.. or maybe trusting.. and not that the world isn't weird enough (and violent enough) for armored vest accessories TOO (for those who think they've seen everything regarding accessories, one word: Webkins), and it's not simply because I've seen the online catalog of armored vests and hats, etc., which I know for a fact soldiers are trying to buy and keep, but I "read" this post when I came home from work last night, which is to say my eyes dropped down through it like a cartoon character through the broken rungs of a ladder.. all I could think in that mid-cloud condition was, "Hmm.. something here does not make any sense. It also doesn't line up with the title, as it usually does.. I'll look again tomorrow, and read the whole thing."

That something that didn't make sense even in brain-sleep, was that moms who cherish their kids would neither accept the status quo of such a thing, nor would they send their precious children out into it all --they'd homeschool. And there was no way the Pope would blow it off/minimize it to practicalities, either! I haven't been keeping tabs on his visit, but I'm wondering if on Wednesday, you will show us how dangerously the media will have skewed what he did say.

Isn't it in Brazil that there are orphaned/unwanted children living/hiding from "civil" snipers in the sewers? If anyone wants a picture of hell to muse on, and who perhaps believes the Holocaust is imagination, or that civil rights are exclusive, one can hardly do better than to read of children being hunted down in sewers.. or in parts of Africa..

Carol

Fr. V said...

Carol!

By jove I think you've got it!

Judging from my Emails I was fearing I made a terrible mistake in making this farce. But does that not say something about the world that this was taken all too seriously?

I'll apologize on Wednesday when I have some time to do it correctly.

Adoro te Devote said...

I see a parallel to the use and propagation of contraception.

Rob said...

I was going to play it cool and pretend I didn't fall for it. But I swallowed it...hook, line and sinker.

It was strangely off-color for Fr. V. Is this a hidden dark side we never knew of?

Adoro te Devote said...

""Proponents of the free CONDOM give away say that the pope’s message will only add to the STD'S AND UNPLANNED PREGNANCIES AND ABORTIONS already wreaking havoc across this small Catholic nation. “We know our children,” says Maria Tutu of the Armour of Love Campaign, “They are going to HAVE SEX. Without THESE CONDOMS AND PILLS we will have more UNWANTED CHILDREN AND OUR OWN CHILDREN DYING OF AIDS and more ABORTIONS. Is that what the pope wants? In essence that is what he and the Catholic Church are saying, ‘we want more DISEASES AND UNWANTED, ABUSED CHILDREN and ABORTIONS.’ I for one do not think that is what Jesus wants. He wouldn’t care about this stuff. He would say, ‘HAVE SEX and enjoy life.’ That’s what this is really all about; living a full and active life. What does some eighty year old man in Rome know about SEX?”"


I think I could rewrite this entire post just substituing the rhetoric employed by UN and Planned Parenthood.

Was that what you were getting at?

Fr. V said...

Ten points for Adoro!