Here is an example where understanding proper manners helps
keep us away from uncomfortable situations which moderns often point out after a moment of silence by a lone person saying “Awk – ward.”
Mrs. Fenner states rather broadly that, “Among Protestants
an invitation to be a godparent is an honor that must be accepted. A refusal is socially impossible. Among Catholics this is not true.” That is because of the promises that are
assumed of the Catholic godparent. This
is not an honorary role but one with significant responsibilities. It will assume that you are leading an
upright Catholic life, attending the sacraments, are a person of prayer, and
will help, in any way that you can, the young person to grow closer to Christ
in the Church throughout his life. One
is not chosen because, “Mikey is the
youngest brother and the only one that nobody has asked yet. It would mean so much to him – once he gets
out of jail for that terrorist bombing incident.”
Again quoting Mrs. Fenner, “If parents are themselves good
Catholics who do their duty toward their child, the sponsor’s obligation is a
slight one. But one can never depend
upon its being so. The parents may fall
away from their Faith. They may die (oh
dear) and the child’s upbringing be entrusted to non-Catholics, or they may
hold their responsibilities too lightly.”
In cases such as these, the godparent, “must assert his rights and
perform his duties as the spiritual parent of the child.” If for any reason a person realizes that he
is not up to this responsibility of becoming a godparent, he should decline the
role and parents should gracefully accept the answer kindly and without asking
those questions that would give them the opportunity to say “Oh, but we don’t care
that you are having doubts about God’s existence! You are a good person. We want you to be godparent anyway! By the way, what a nice crystal you are
wearing.” What a noble thing it is for
someone to decline for the spiritual welfare of your child and that should be
accepted.
It behooves parents to know who may and who may not be a godparent
and what is expected of them before asking somebody to be a godparent. It puts everyone
in a foul and festering mood when the priest has to say, “I’m sorry, but that
is an impossibility for that person to be a godparent (hence one of the reasons
for the class mention last week.)
There is to be a godparent.
If there are two, one must be male and the other female. There is no fudging on this. They must be fully initiated and practicing
Catholics. They must obtain a sponsor
certificate from the parish at which they are a member that they are supposedly
supporting and are well known enough that the priest feels comfortable saying
that he recommends them. All of this
because the godparent is welcoming them and guiding them into a way of living. The godparent cannot be the mother or father
of the child – you already have a job.
“But I already asked my brother Mike and his husband George,
a Unitarian universalist, and their 5 year old child Feebee to all be godparents! You have to let us do this Father!” Fortunately for Father he does not have to
refuse the parents demand. It is no more
in his power to grant this permission than it would be to give them permission
to paint graffiti on the White House. He
will merely state, “I am sorry, there is nothing I can do.” Having the rules in mind before asking can
save worlds of hurt between family members, friends, and between the general
public and the Church.
I thought there would be enough time and space to get into
“Naming the Baby” but the topic is just too precious and long to tag onto the
above. So we will hit that next week.
