READ THIS TAILGATER

“Your pro-life bumpersticker has made me change my culture of death ways.”

Said no-one ever.

So really, what is the point of taking the beautiful paint job on your car and plastering a sticker on it that in a few years will fade, wrinkle, and, if you try to remove it, will fight like the devil to remain and cause you hours of careful cleaning?

Because they may still do some good.  It may not convert or convince those not with you on any given topic, but it might bolster the weak and the wavering.  I thought of that today pulling up behind a car with a pro-life bumper sticker.  It gave me a sense of peace.  If someone is feeling like a small voice, an isolated island, they may not speak out in fear of the tsunami of vitriol that might overwhelm them if they take the chance.  

But what if they thought they were part of a larger community?  What if they started tentatively reaching out, testing to water, finding out that people close and important to them might share their views.  Upon finding them, might they take a chance one day of speaking out at a gathering of friends.  Maybe at that gathering of friends, a shy person might quietly listen but after touch that person’s elbow and ask, “Can I speak to you for minute?  I feel that way too but I am way too shy to say anything like you did.”

Perhaps one day there would be enough open support out there that a person does not have to be shy about saying, “I’m pro-life.”  That it would not a politically or patriotically incorrect thing to say or be.  And it doesn't have to be just the pro-life message, but anything near and dear to our hearts.  And maybe our culture would start swinging back to sanity.  

FRIDAY POTPOURRI: WHY IS RAMBO ESSENTIAL TO MASSES CELEBRATED WITH THE PEOPLE?

The story you are about to read is true.  Only the names and location has been obscured to protect the semi-innocent.

So I was a young seminarian attending a Mass at which a prominent person from another religion was in attendance.  The presider, wanting to show how open, welcoming, and progressive we are decided to change one of the readings at the Mass to a reading from this very non-Christian tradition (along with some interesting rite and prayer from the honored guest after Communion.)

Now, I know there will be people who say, "Great!  It is about time that Catholics stop naval gazing and open wide the doors to everybody.  We are not so fragile that letting someone in to do something like this will make us fall apart.  Get over it and broaden your horizons."

I am not one of them. 

Now, don't get me wrong.  I am not opposed to experiencing someone else's "scripture" or even witnessing their rites (within reason - well, my reason.)  Just not at the Mass.

The Mass is the very epicenter of our covenant.  The very epicenter of the marriage covenant is the "marital act."  You don't (or should't) just let anybody into the bed with you in order to broaden your horizons and show how open you are.  It is the same with Mass.  The Bridegroom is giving Himself in the most intimate way to His Bride.  That is why we don't have what was once called, "Eucharistic hospitality."  You either are in this marriage or you are not.  If you are, welcome.  But there are no strange bedfellows here.  (Did I just take the analogy too far?)

"In the readings," paragraph 57 of the GIRM states, "the table of God's Word is spread before the faithful, and the treasures of the Bible are opened . . ."  These contain the words of love and longing of our Father for His children and of the Bridegroom longing for His Bride (aka salvation history.)  They are the prelude to this most intimate moment between our God and us.  Therefore, not only may we not substitute another faith's reading, we may not even substitute another Christian reading as has been done, for example, by music groups substituting a song for the psalms or having a reading of Dr. Martin Luther King replace the first reading on Martin Luther King Day.  

Even where the readings are read during the Mass is not something with which to trifle.  These readings belong to the Church and we have a right (and a duty) to them.  Therefore, in Masses with the people, says paragraph 58, "the readings are always read from the ambo."  (Funny, my computer kept changing ambo to Rambo.)

FRIDAY POTPOURRI: MY WORD!

Dei Verbum paragraph 13

 

One of my university classes (before seminary) was a class in which we were told we would learn how to communicate with anybody in the world.  That sounds intriguing does it not?  Although some of the class was extremely interesting, one of the first days when we were learning how to ask people around the globe where the bathroom was by placing our hands in the afflicted area and crouching with a pained expression on our faces, and the standing up with our arms out, palms up, indicating, “Where?” I remember thinking, “If my father ever found out how much money I paid to learn this he would go through the roof.”

 

But communication is important and how does one communicate with one who does not speak the same language?  What if you are God and want to speak to men?  What if you want them to write something down?  Yet God finds ways to get His message to us.  His words become human words in the Scriptures just as His Son took on flesh and became man.  They are, in every way, His words but they are in our language just as the Son is in every way THE Son from all eternity, but He took on a human nature and entered our world physically so that we could see Him, talk with Him, hear Him, relate to Him, be healed by Him, and know Him.

I CAN READ YOU LIKE A BOOK

One of the greatest sadnesses of my priesthood is that I rarely get to proclaim Paul anymore. Like him or hate him, you have to admit his passion and his gut wrenching emotion shine through in these powerful epistles. This is true even for those who think that our current translations are abysmal. So it kills me to hear somebody proclaim him with all the passion of reading aloud a grocery list.

Love is patient
Love is kind
Love is not jealous
Love is not pompous
Love is not inflated
Two cans of tomato paste
Butter
Milk
Lettuce
Bag of Dan Dee Cheese Curls: economy size

On Pentecost Day there was a reading form the Acts of the Apostles (2:1-11). The people, it says, were astounded and amazed! They were all from different places where different languages were spoken yet each heard what was being said in his native tongue. It would be as though we were saying, “There were guys there from Italy and Greece. There was a couple we met from Zimbabwe and a nice lady from El Salvador. There was a youth group from Russia and some sisters from Argentina, brothers from Singapore, priests from Hong Kong and some teens from Canada yet all of us heard what the apostles were saying in our native languages! It was mind blowing! We all stared at each other filled with the Holy Spirit and amazement!” Yet one of the renditions I heard was a close imitation of the teacher in “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” reading the attendance sheet, “Bueller . . .Bueller . . .Bueller . . .”

I will grant you there is a fine line in proclaiming between simply reading and being theatrical. Grandiose theatrics can be as annoying as reading deadpan can be uninspiring. Read it like a letter (which it is) written specifically to you and this community (which it is) with the awe and wonder of having the privilege of reading to this people as if it is new for you and the first time those gathered to hear it. To that end, here are a few humble suggestions (HA!) I offer lectors in their ministry.

Never (make it an exception to the rule when you do) emphasize a pronoun, they emphasize themselves. When you do over emphasize them your listeners may miss the truly important point of the sentence. For example, do not read, “Not that HE might not offer HIMSELF repeatedly . . .” but rather, “Not that he might not offer himself REPEATEDLY . . .”

To that end, it is wise to find the important words in a sentence (this gets easier with practice) and make sure your inflections emphasize them. For example, “May the EYES of your HEARTS be ENLIGHTENED . . .”

When reading lists of things do not read them like a grocery list nor read everything as if it were all equally important (even if it is). To deemphasize everything is to lead your listener into daydreams of the BBQ that they will be having later, and to emphasize everything as being important is to render everything bland. The trick is to find gems in the list that are important to you and emphasize those. That will catch your listener’s attention.

Love is patient,
Love is kind.
IT IS NOT JEALOUS,
It is not pompous.

Study what you are going to read. What is the point of the whole reading? Make your proclamation build to that point. Is there more than one point? Choose one to emphasize. Talk to the homilist of the mass, is there a particular line from the reading that he is building upon which you can help emphasize? Determine what kind of writing it is. Is it a story? Is it an admonition? Is the writer angry, excited, or happy? All these will determine how you proclaim the reading.

Practice. Record yourself occasionally. Do you sound interesting to you? Do you sound like a credible witness to the truth of the message?

Buy yourself a little pronunciation guide. Look up words. There has been more than one parish that has had “flaming brassiere” read instead of “flaming brazier”. Don’t be that person!

Forever I would preach on a certain passage that came up every year during the week. As fate would have it, each year the same lector would read about the “Eeknocks.” Year in and year out, “Eeknocks”. And year in and year out I would say, “And then the Eeknocks, some people call them eunuchs . . .”

In all seriousness lectors, you have a terribly awesome responsibility. It is not to be taken lightly. If you feel this is too much work, think about stepping down. For those who strive to carry on this ministry, remember to pray. Pray the readings to be proclaimed, pray that you proclaim them well, pray for those who will hear you, pray that all who hear including yourself will be challenged and transformed by Him.