Monday, November 14, 2016


I am old enough to remember that one could not just sit down and 8:00PM and decide to turn on the television and watch T.V.  It took TIME to turn on the T.V.
(Yes, we did watch Her Haw much to my everlasting embarrassment.)

This is because television had tubes and they required warming up before a clear picture would appear.  (I also remember having to take tubes down to a test machine at Bodnar's Drug Store that would tell you if you needed new ones or not.)

Then television technology improved!  If you wanted to watch Twin Peaks at 8:00PM then, by golly, you could sit down at 8:00PM and turn on your T.V. and not miss seeing the falls as they cascaded below the Great Bear Lodge.

Not so today - NOT SO!  Saturday night I had some unexpected evening hours to myself and decided to go downstairs and watch something on my Apple T.V.  This begins with the dumping out of all the remotes out of a box that sits on the coffee table.

Things were not destined to be simple:  
The first half an hour was spent trying to figure out why there was not signal.  Magically it appeared while I wasn't looking.  I have no idea why.  It just did.  Why do you fall in love?  You have no idea why.  One day you are just fine and the next day, for no apparent reason, you are an idiot and you can't concentrate on anything.  But you accept it an move on.

Three or four remotes later, I am picking out a movie.  Then, due to some update, I had to enter my iTunes code, password, and length of inseam.  Fine, fine.  But then it asked for some new numeric code.
I have no new code.  I try random numbers but of course that is completely unreasonable.  FINALLY the T.V. tells me to check my most trusted device to which it will send me a code so that I may unlock my televisatory wonderland.  So I go upstairs and get MY PHONE and bring it downstairs.  There are no texts, no Emails, no phone calls giving me my magic numbers.
So now I go back upstairs and get my computer and haul that downstairs (are you getting the idea of how many pieces of equipment I needed in order to watch reruns of the Gene Caroll Show?)  I tried searching the web for problem solving but the step at which I need instruction is always the most vague.  "Go to your secret solve button screen and click on the anonymous button."  FINE!  BUT WHERE THE GET OUT IS IT?

Then the T.V. fairy decided to smile on me once again and sent some magical numbers on my computer.  SO after entering FOR THE 50th TIME my identity and pass codes and inseam length I CAN ENTER THE SECRET CODE which doesn't work.  Now I'm going through random screens and pressing things.  Guess what.  It worked.  Why?  I don't know.  I don't know that I care.  But THIS time after entering my identity code, my secret pass code, my inseam length, my NEW super secret pass code, the T.V. was finally ready to go.
So I went to bed with my Kindle.

Which promptly ran out of power.


Pat said...

A few years ago, I had my parents' 1948 Crosley floor-model radio repaired. The gentleman who did it reassured me that tubes were available. He even procured and extra set of them for me. The radio's only problem is signal drift. And I could use a better antenna.

And yes, it takes about 30 seconds or so for the tubes to warm up. Now having read your story, I'm sticking with tubes.

Louis said...

It sounds like you have activated 2-step authentication on your Apple ID. If you don't remember doing it, you may be in for a bad time. You can disable it by managing your Apple ID. But in order to manage it, you'll have to enter your ID, secret passcode, inseam length, and you guessed it, your super-secret passcode.

Nan said...

I assume the inseam length is so Apple orders you the right length pants when it decides you need new ones? It's monitoring your cheese doodle intake so it can figure out the waistline.

I thought of you today when I was at a Scandinavian meat market. I had forgotten the Swedish Institute is closed on Monday and a couple of women who also had forgotten, reminded me of Ingebretsen's. I was looking for a gift but instead bought salmon, bread and butter roast (aka potroast), marzipan fruit to top a cheesecake, potato salad and pickled beets. I don't know what's in their pickled beets but I suspect nutmeg. They were okay albeit a bit odd when unaccustomed to anything but oil, vinegar and onions with the pickled beets.

Karen said...

This is what happens to me every time my husband goes away on a business trip. And I, of course, have no idea what any of the 7 million digit alphanumeric passwords are. It always happens when either A: I just promised my little kids a particular show or movie or B: The older kids finally went to bed and I can watch a show without anyone asking me for anything or wanting to discuss life in general. I think these devices revolt against me to see if this will be the day I lose my mind for good.