TUESDAY QUOTE OF THE WEEK CCCLXLVII

FINDING TRUTH WHEREVER IT MAY BE FOUND:  ". . . 'Secular space' does not imply or require secularism."  from Archbishop Chaput's, "Render unto Caesar"

QUOTE II:  "Government is limited because politics by nature is limited, just as life in this world is limited.  Politics does not exhaust our humanness.  In fact, it's absent from the most important dimensions of life.  Anyone who doubts these merely needs to think about his or her relationship with a child, spouse, or parent, a valued friend or colleague.  We are much more than political animals."  same source

IN OTHER NEWS:

Adam sent this in.  I found it EXCELLENT and wanted to share it with you.

I gave a talk to the ITE project here at St. Sebastian this past week.  (Find out more about it HERE.) The subject was Baconmas Day and its implications in salvation.  (Baconmas Day is the fourth Monday after Easter.)  There's more there than you might think.

Even though we were celebrating Baconmas in July, Rocco and I sang a traditional Baconmas Day carol.  I hate singing these things out of season (it seems to secularize the day) but I post it here for you today so that you can practice it and be ready to sing it on someone's doorstep this coming year.  It is to the tune of, "Good King Wenceslaus"  

Good St. Peter had a sight,

on a Jappa rooftop,

when the cloth revealed aright

the Creator's workshop.

"Take and slaughter all is clean

and is good for eating!"

No man is too lost or mean,

on the bacon evening!

Bring me bacon.  Bring me wine.

Gather all His people.

Let us pray and let us dine

'neath the church's steeple.

Page and monarch; are all called.

Let His grace none bypass!

Our redemption to recall

on the bacon day Mass!

Here is a video on Pornography addiction.  8.5 minutes.

SCOURGE OF THE NATIONS

“Nobody should have anything to say about what I do in the privacy of my home. If I choose to watch porn who am I harming? Keep your morality to yourself.”

In truth there is no such thing as a private sin. And this sin reaches dramatically beyond the bedroom (or office) door. Here is just a partial list:

The person viewing is radically turning inward (as opposed to marriage which is to radically turn us toward “the other.”) When he is watching porn the man is not thinking of his wife and family, he is not thinking of the woman in the movie who likely did not grow up thinking that this was the lifestyle she dreamed of and is proud to tell her family about. Even if it is “free” porn he perpetuates the system that feeds on these women that it eventually throws away – who now turns to the very society that used her to help her. It is all about meeting the desires of the man.

It prevents the man from being leaders, providers, and protectors. Whether hours a day are spent or hours a week, this is time stolen from the very people the man loves. With companies installing monitoring systems there is good number of men losing their jobs daily. (Think Wiener.)  Whether he realizes it or not his attitude toward women is altered. He will pass this attitude (where it may become exaggerated) on to his children.

It ruins marriages. Men tend to compartmentalize. He can put porn into a drawer and pretend to separate it from the rest of his life. Women, according to Dr. Kleponis, see life more as a bucket of water and porn a drop of ink. It spreads and colors everything. That is why women tend to see it as something worse than men and why men, particularly those struggling with porn, sometimes do not register it as something as severe. So women see this as a betrayal and something against which they must compete and images against which they could never compare.

It perpetuates lying and deceit as the man tries to hide his porn use. (If you have to hide it, there is something wrong in a relationship where you are supposed to be one flesh.) This leads to damage in communication. All this together can lead to divorce which has a nasty effect sociologically and economically on the family, particularly the children, and on society in general. It ALWAYS harms marriage in some way.

It is ALWAYS damaging to faith. Faith calls us to see the dignity of the human person. All of them. Even those who voluntarily throw it away. To miss this is to miss out on one of the primary tenants of the faith that Jesus came here to teach as necessary to salvation. It is your sister (or brother) that you are turning into a commodity. As John Paul II said it is not that porn reveals too much of the person. It is that it reveals too little. It reduces a person to their organs and skin to be used and thrown away.

Porn is addictive. For some more than others. It is always a problem but for some it leads not only to hours a day being lost to fantasy but also to thousands of dollars on site fees and other materials. Worst of all are boarders starting to become fuzzy between reality and fantasy as men try to live out what they see on the screen. Loss of resources for the family at this point, while terrible, is not as devastating as the possibility of bringing home a disease that can seriously harm or lead to the death of himself and his wife.

For the man who is addicted it can seriously harm his feelings of self worth and his male confidence. The viscous circle being the thing that makes him feel better temporarily is the very thing that throws him deeper into despair. We do not have to wonder what it is like when men are no longer men in their families and neighborhoods. Weak, ineffectual, and/or absent husbands and fathers lead to a breakdown in our social fabric.




Finally it absorbs BILLIONS of dollars every year – not to mention loss of production of paid work time and loss of volunteer hours. (Who is available to be a scout master or a basketball coach?) $97 billion a year is spent on porn ($13 billion from the U.S.) That is more than to top tech companies combined and more than double the NFL. Every 39 minutes a new porn movie made in the USA causing us to spend over $3,000 a second on porn and the using of thousands and thousands of people including children. This is a terrible drain on our nation. What would you suggest $3,000 a second be spent on – education? Parks? Medical care? National infrastructure? Job creation?

Years ago I rented a Disney movie to show to a classroom full of kids. (It was a video cassette, which was all there was, so that tells you how long ago it was.) We put the tape in and walked to the back of the classroom. The machine finished loading and all these naked blue people came on the screen writhing and bumping against each other. Was the wrong tape in the box? How did we pick up a porn tape?! I ran through the kids diving at the machine slapping at the controls in an overzealous effort to make it stop when an announcer came on and said, “Try brand X perfume” immediately followed by some typical Disney cartoon.
You can’t completely keep porn away from your kids. It will find them. But you can do a lot to protect them and prepare them for when it does find them.

In a priest meeting yesterday concerning the real damage pornography is causing, this strategy was proposed by Dr. Peter C. Kleponis to be taught in our parishes to parents to protect their kids.

PLAN 1 for ages 0 to 11

1. Carefully monitor ALL media that enters the house and remove anything pornographic. (The problem is we as a society have become very desensitized.) This includes T.V., movies, mail catalogues, magazines, Internet, music and video games.

2. Keep the computer in a public area of the house.

3. Monitor what children are watching online: computes, iPods, MP3, Emails, and know that cell phones are the place where most teens see porn today.

4. Limit screen time. (Get outside!)

5. Monitor social media (Facebook, Myspace, You-tube)

6. Use parental blocks.

7. Know your children’s friends, their parents, and know what they are doing at the neighbor’s house.

8. Teach modesty in dress and virtuous living.

PLAN 2 for ages 11 and through the teen years.

1. Teach youth about the dangers of pornography. (Which means, learn about the dangers of porn.)

2. Monitor and remove all things pornographic in the house (see #1 above.)

3. Keep the computer in a public place.

4. Limit screen time.

5. Monitor Emails, texts, etc. Youth have a right to love, faith, food, shelter, clothing, medical care, and other basics. Phones and computers are a privilege. There is a golden rule: He who has the gold rules. Parents are most likely paying for the phone and/or its use and have a right to know how they are being used. Parent’s computers are often monitored at work (because their work owns them) and many people lose their jobs every week because they view porn at work. Parents should not be bullied into an expectation of privacy. The same thing can be said about social media (Facebook, etc.) it should be monitored.

6. Subscribe to an Internet Accountability Service. Kids can get around parental blocks. This focuses on accountability rather than unavailability. Remember to put it on the cell phone. This is the number one place where kids choose to view porn.

7. Allow your kids to play in homes where you know parents are also protective against pornography.

8. Teach modesty in dress and virues.

Porn destroys lives. One only has to hear confessions for a little while to know how damaging and widespread it is. Help keep kids from falling into the pit.

EVERYTHING IS BEAUTIFUL IN ITS OWN WAY (IS IT?)

Beauty, if it is truly to be thought so, must be wedded to some truth. Beauty without truth will ultimately fail to satisfy. If you should be lost in the woods that is absolutely full of rabbits which you are able to catch and eat to your satisfaction, you will ultimately starve to death because rabbit meat is too lean to sustain life. If something is beautiful but reflects no truth, it may attract our eye but it will ultimately fail to feed our souls and nourish us and give us life.

The truth of the piece may not be immediately apparent. Sr. Wendy came to the Cleveland Museum of Art to produce an audio tour of her favorite pieces. One little amazing piece was a small, heavy, brass bear, not so much in the shape of an actual bear but looking much more like an infant’s plastic chew toy of a bear (though a very well done chew toy.) She described the piece as a weight used to hold down the corner of a mat on which an official would sit during official business (I forget both the year and the province.) First she reminded us of people’s natural affinity for bears. We do find them fascinating. On the one hand there is the sheer power and awesomeness of these beasts of the wild which strikes in us some amount of respect and fear. If we encounter a bear in the woods (or in our kitchen) the natural reaction would be to flee.

On the other hand they are so attractive. They look soft and their fur draws us in to want to touch them. As they lumber and eat berries our minds turn to the overstuffed plush toys that we had as children. At the zoo we watch them play in the water or snuggle with their young ones and are moved to say, “Look! Awwwwwwe!” Such is our attraction to bears. Respect and attraction. Fear and awe. Beauty and strength amidst a certain comfortable frumpiness.

Then there is the little brass bear at the edge of the mat of the government official who sits squat, enduring some presentation by someone with more breath than actual information burning away the precious minutes of life that God has given him. He looks down and sees the bear perhaps at his right knee. For a moment he is brought to mind of our affinity for bears and he reaches out his hand and places it on the bear’s head and for a moment is relieved if the pain of the meeting.

I did not do Sr. Wendy’s talk justice – not nearly. By the time she finished her telling of the story I was foolishly near tears so much truth and beauty came melding together. Beauty must take us somewhere. And that somewhere must be part of the truth of the universe – of God – of what it is to be human – or it is something else - a technique – or even ugliness.

A couple of people asked about faces and what attracts us to them. One scientific study says that balance and symmetry does it. Well, sure, that is what attracts us to a particular face. We are drawn in. But each of us have experienced meeting something who truly looks beautiful but once we start talking to the person or getting to know them deeply and finding some ugliness discover that the beauty of their face can no longer attract us – or if it does we keep looking for something good – some truth convinced that some beauty MUST be backed up with some substance. Or perhaps there is someone whose looks at first turned you off, but after getting to know the person find that they now appear beautiful to you. This is far different from the initial attraction.

That is the attraction or pornography. A person is attracted to the beauty of the bodies that they view. There is no learning more deeply about the person. The mind can fill in the perfect personality. So the person being viewed can be kept beautiful in the mind of the person but it is a false beauty. As John Paul said the problem with pornography is not that it reveals too much, it is that it reveals too little. True beauty desires to lead us somewhere. “Beauty is truth, truth beauty,” says John Keats.

True beauty is a finger that points beyond itself. If it does not, it may be attractive (and empty,) but should not be thought beautiful from the “ism” through which we wish to evaluate it. It may be that we have failed to see through it and our “ism” requires us to search more deeply. And finally, if it is to be truly beautiful it must lead us to something great.

PASS THIS INFORMATION ALONG

The sacrament of confession is far from dead and its salvation oddly enough is high tech. No, you cannot Email your confession to your local parish and receive absolution by a return receipt. It is because our computers allow so many to sin “secretly” and in such ways that Christians are embarrassed to talk about it or seek help. So for the average Christian who has a conscience for such things but who is none-the-less addicted there is little help outside of prayer. At least for the Catholic, there is the sacrament of confession that is anonymous, the content of which can never be repeated, and help can be sought. And there is more! The following was put together by Bishop Robert Flynn:

A PRAYER IN A TIME OF TEMPTATION ~ Based on Hebrews 4:14-16
Lord Jesus Christ, our great High Priest, you were tempted in every way we are and yet never sinned. Take me to the throne of Your grace to receive mercy, favor and help. Make me aware of Your presence. Strengthen me in my weakness.

Lead me through the temptations of this life to the love you share with the Father and Holy Spirit, one God for ever and ever. Amen.

PRAYER OVER A NEW COMPUTER
Loving God and Father, source of all good and knowledge, we praise you for your loving kindness shown to us through your Son Jesus Christ who became flesh and dwelt among us and through your Holy Spirit poured forth into our hearts. Grant that this new computer may be used in service to you and all truth. May it be an instrument that serves to lift up and not to tear down. May pornography, hatred or any other such evil never appear on this screen. May I and all who use this computer do so with purity of heart and free from all evil. May my work on this computer serve to glorify your name and build up your kingdom. Lead us through this life to share in the perfect love and joy you share with Jesus Christ your Son our Lord and the Holy Spirit, one God for ever and ever. Amen.

ANIMA CHRISTI (Soul of Christ)
Soul of Christ, sanctify me.
Body of Christ, save me.
Blood of Christ, inebriate me.
Water flowing from the side of Christ, wash me.
Passion of Christ, strengthen me.
O Good Jesus hear me, in your wounds hide me
and never permit me to be separated from you.
From the evil enemy, defend me
In the hour of my death call me, and grant me to come to you
that with your saints I may praise you for ever and ever. Amen.


MEMORARE
Remember O Most Gracious Virgin Mary,
That never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection,
implored thy help or sought thy intercession was left unaided.
Inspired by this confidence I fly unto thee O Virgin of virgins, my mother.
To thee I come; before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful.
O Mother of the Word Incarnate, despise not my petitions
But in thy mercy hear and answer me. Amen.

From the LITANY OF ST. JOSEPH
Joseph, chaste and just …
Joseph, prudent and brave …
Joseph, obedient and loyal …
Terror of evil spirits …
Protector of the Church, … Pray for us!
Almighty God, in your infinite wisdom and love
you chose Joseph to be the husband of Mary, the mother of Your Son.
As we enjoy his protection on earth, may we have the help of his prayers in heaven.
We ask this through Christ our Lord. Amen.

PRAYER TO SAINT MICHAEL
St. Michael the Archangel , defend us in battle. Be our defense against the wickedness and snares of the devil. May God rebuke him we humbly pray, and do thou O Prince of the heavenly hosts, by divine power thrust into hell Satan and all the other evil spirits that prowl about the world seeking the ruin of souls. Amen.

PRAYER TO MY GUARDIAN ANGEL
Angel of God, my guardian dear; to whom God’s love commends me here: Ever this day be at my side, to light and guard, to rule and guide. Amen

A FEW RESOURCES

On-Line Resources

www.dads.org/strugglewithporn.asp is Steve Wood’s catholic website of St. Joseph Covenant keepers.

http://www.pornnomore.com/ is a Catholic site that includes information, prayers, witness talks and many other helpful resources.

http://www.porn-free.org/ is a similar Christian site with many resources.

http://www.nationalcoalition.org/ is the site for the National Coalition for the Protection of Children and Families. In addition to fighting pornography this organization does much to promote decency and family life.

http://www.freedomeveryday.org/ is sponsored by L.I.F.E. Ministries (Living in Freedom Everyday).

http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/ is a Christian based ministry addressing a number of addictions. Its resources are available in several languages.

http://www.cyberwidows.tripod.com/ is a resource for women whose husbands have problems with pornography. The information here would also be helpful for a husband whose wife is struggling with pornography.

http://www.obscenitycrimes.org/index.php not only has resources about pornography but includes information about fighting indecency.

http://www.sa.org/ is the web site for Sexaholics Anonymous. It shares information and Twelve Step Spirituality for those struggling with sexual addiction.

http://www.blogger.com/www.isafe.org is a site for internet safety and education.

http://www.filterreview.com/ provides a description and customer rating of different internet filters. It is a good single source to learn about many different products.

http://www.covenanteyes.com/ is not a filter but an accountability service. Users will designate two other individuals who will periodically receive reports of all the sites the user has visited. This can work well in conjunction with a filter.

www.archstl.org/prayer is a prayer resource sponsored by the Archdiocese of St. Louis. You may type in a request and eight communities of cloistered nuns will pray for your intentions.

Support and Counseling Services

The National Coalition has a toll-free service line at 1-800-583-2964. It is a resource both for those who struggle with pornography as well as for pastors and counselors. Phones are answered Monday through Friday from 9:00 A.M. to 5:00 P.M. Eastern Standard Time.

Reading

The Truth and meaning of Human Sexuality. Pontifical Council for the Family, 1995.
Married Love and the Gift of Life. Pro-Life Secretariat , United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, Nov. 14, 2006 .

Many of the above listed web sites will list books that can be helpful. One short but helpful booklet is Breaking Free: 12 Steps to Sexual Purity for Men. It is by Stephen Wood and published by Family Life Center Publications. http://www.familylifecenter.net/

For other reading material regarding a Catholic understanding of human sexuality see Love and Responsibility by Karol Wojtyla and Theology of the Body by Pope John Paul II. The former is a more philosophical work while the latter is much more theological. Some popular secondary sources for these are: Theology of the Body for Beginners and Theology of the Body Explained both by Christopher West and Men and Women are From Eden by Mary Healy.

In 2002 the Pontifical Council for Social Communications issued two documents entitled “The Church and Internet” and “Ethics in Internet.” In 1989 the same council issued a document entitled, “Pornography and Violence in the Communications Media: A Pastoral Response.” These documents may be accessed at http://www.vatican.va/

In 1998 the United States Conference of Catholic Bishops issued a document entitled, “Renewing the Mind of the Media” and in 2000 another document entitled, “Your Family and Cyberspace.” Copies may be ordered by calling 1-800-235-8722.

Thanks to Fr. Martin Conner L.C. for sending in this information and to Bishop Robert Finn for pulling this information together.

GIVE CORN YOUR SPORN

I have a friend (we’ve grown a lot since this took place) that used to think that it was hysterical to send his priest buddy suggestive material. It was never pornographic per se but it was highly suggestive. One day I had to say to him, “You know, I am trying to live a chaste life and you sending me these Emails is like sending pictures of bottles of alcohol to someone who is trying to stay away from drinking inappropriately.” It stopped from that day forward.

It is one thing not to trowel for porn or suggestive material on your computer. It is another for it to arrive from friends. It is not uncommon today for pictures to be shot from phone to phone. “Hey! Did you see this one?” No brown paper wrapping, no locked doors – but complete openness and acceptance of the practice.

Men: there is only one way that it will stop. It will not run its course and disappear. It will stop when you stop it. It takes courage (and who would have thought that there would be the day that NOT wanting porn would take courage?) There need not be any big production or announcement. Simply kindly ask that these types of messages no longer be sent to you. Others will eventually get the point.

Depending on your situation you may have a certain amount of grief dumped on you. But remember this, “Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven,” and give thanks that you were found worthy every time it happens.

Who does it hurt? Even if it is free and even if it is a picture shot voluntarily it still creates a market hungry for new models. It eats them up and spits them out creating an absurdly high suicide rate among porn stars. The money that is produced by porn is not used to support you schools or beautify your city. The men that watch it are not training themselves to look on women as human persons deserving dignity and respect. It steals lives for those who become wickedly addicted and not only their lives but away from their wives and children (or future wives and children – more poisoness than second hand smoke and far more insidious.)

And today it is becoming just as much a habit among women.

But it does not need to be so with you – from you – or around you.

Take courage.

YOU WILL BE TREATED WITH DIGNITY AND LIKE IT MISTER!

I used to work backstage in theater quite a bit before entering the seminary. Every once in a while someone would want to come backstage to meet one of the actors with whom they fell in love during the course of the evening. They would come to the door with bright eyes, shallow breathing, and deep passion. There were many occasions that I would try to dissuade them from seeking the idol of their dreams. “Go home with fantasy of the person you fell in love with,” I might say. Ah, but passion is often times not to be reasoned with and it takes no hints. So, giving in to the pressure of ardent begging their dream was fetched for them.

Quite often the person so fetched and the character portrayed on the stage were quite different people. One might be serious, strong, and brave on stage and the flighty, loud, and free from normal constraints of behavior off. So there was the inevitable crest falling of the face and the brave effort to still smile and have some spirit of flattery for the actor a that moment ago they were willing to stake the rest of the life in marriage with but now just wish to go home.

Though they had spent two hours with the person, they met a fantasy. They may know what the person who played the role looked like but they did not know the person. They did not love a person, they loved an illusion.

That is part of the problem – sin of you will – of pornography. It is not that too much of the person is exposed to you it is that that not enough of the person is. Here we find the difference between love (Scriptural love) and lust. Love seeks to give and lust seeks to take. In porn, an image of a person is taken completely apart from the soul and mind of the person, manipulated, and used to for our own personal means having nothing to do with what might be good for the other person.

“But they volunteer for it!” it might be said, “and get a paycheck! Where’s the harm?” The harm is wide reaching. Just because somebody chooses to degrade themselves does not make it alright for a Christian to participate in the degradation. (Because somebody wants to kill themselves or have an abortion or otherwise degrade themselves does not make Christian support of it Okay.) Next is our training of ourselves that there are certain persons, times, and places in which I might treat another human being without all of the dignity God wishes them to have. (A person who is nice to you but not nice to the waiter is not a nice person.) And lastly, even viewing “free porn” shows the producers of such soul rot that there is a market for such things and keeps the production in high gear and available to our children, the next generation of users.

“So, if you do not like it, turn it off.” It would be a swell thing if everyone could here confessions for a year. The seemingly easy mandate, “So turn it off,” would be exposed for the clap trap that it is. There is no freedom in porn – not for the producers, not for the “actors”, and definitely not for the viewers who wish terribly to be away from it forever.

The call is to love real people, appreciate real people, and extend dignity to all persons regardless of their desire to be respected, loved, and treated with dignity.

DADS AND PORN

As long time readers of Adam’s Ale know, I like to spend some time in prayer and reflection hanging out in the old choir loft (no longer in use) and bell tower here at the Church of Saint Clare. Sitting there and reading I came across a paragraph in Scott Hahn’s book, “A Father Who Keeps His Promises” that led my thoughts racing though a series of connections that I want to share particularly with certain dads.

Here is the paragraph: “After forty long years (in the desert), the first generation had died off, except for Moses and the two courageous spies, Joshua and Caleb. During this time, the second generation was being taught by their Levitical tutors and hopefully rehabilitated from the sinful ways of their parents. But patterns of bad behavior die hard, especially when they’re transmitted from parent to child . . .”

This is the meaning of, “The sins of the father are visited upon his children”. God is not going to punish innocent children for the sins that their parents committed. Just because my father may have cheated at cards does not mean that God is going to punish me for it. Rather the sins that the father (or parent) commits is setting up a pattern of living for his son – for his children. It is a cycle that is difficult to break and requires fathers, in this particular instance, to be incredibly strong and unselfish.

It is astonishing how many men say that their problem with pornography began with the unknowing example of their fathers. Men in their later years tormented that they have this problem that is so hard for them to kick (is that freedom America?) said it all began by finding their father’s (brother’s, uncle’s, neighbor’s dad’s) stash of porn magazines and how they’ve been haunted by it ever since.

Children are inquisitive and snoopy. They aren’t evil. It is what they do. And they find these things and the sins of their fathers haunt them their whole lives as it becomes their sins. I can only imagine what our kids, who are so much more savvy than parents on the computer, can find when snooping about on the home computer that adults think hidden.

Society tells us that it isn’t so bad. It is natural. Kids will get over it. Society does not sit in a confessional. It can be heart wrenching.

Dads with porn: Throw it all out. Today. Get rid of it. Clean it off your computer and make sure that there are controls on your computer never to let it back on again. Don’t let anything of the sort into your house under your Okay. Your sons are counting on you.