LOST IDENTITY

A female college student acquaintance was taking a class in which the students were asked to come up with 10 words or phrases with which they identified themselves. The student’s first word was “female.” She was upbraided for saying this and the professor was in wonder that anybody would choose their sex as an aspect of who they are that filters the way they relate to the world. (I wonder if the same dressing down would have occurred if the student had referred to a different lifestyle choice?) 

In point of fact in the Christian world – and in particular the Catholic Christian world this would have definitely been in the top ten if not the top two (child of God vying for first place) proper descriptions. We are not souls occupying a body – we are very much our bodies (and we say every week that we believe in the resurrection of our bodies.) Our sex is far more than other aspects of who we are. “Bald” or “stoop-shouldered” or “athletic” do not carry the same weight in having an effect in how we see the world as does being male or female. This foundational mark of who we are is also the lens through which we see the world and relate to others and God. It is not something to be ignored but something to be cherished, understood, appropriately used, and celebrated. To say that it is inconsequential is damaging to the dignity we have as human beings and to the ability to feel at home in our bodies.

There are those who would solve much of the world’s problems by doing what is possible to rid ourselves of the differences between men and women. This seems logical. In history there has been an inequality between the sexes and erasing that which makes us different does seem like a logical fix. But it is not. Erasing our identity is not a move toward health but a different sickness. Rather, a full respect of who we are as embodied beings, accepting it, honoring it, and realizing (as it says in the rite of blessing at marriage) that we are partners equal in the inheritance of heaven, and correcting any inequalities there may be between the sexes is the path to a better world. We can only do this by recognizing the true worth of our bodies and their unique gifts rather than ignoring the fact that differences exists.

MASCULINISM

Does this word bother you? There is something about it that at best feels clumsy and maybe even a bit disturbing. Going out for coffee last night after the great presentation by Colleen Caroll Cambell as mentioned as up and coming below (Feminism, Rising from the Ashes) one of my compatriots posed the question, “Does a new understanding of feminism require a new understanding of . . .” And he had to stop for lack of a corresponding word.

But what the conversation was trying to surface was, “Does a new understanding of what it is to be woman in the modern age require a new understanding of what if is to be man?” Obviously it does. Though the preponderance of the discussion must focus on what it is to be authentically human, for God made all of us in His likeness and image (Genesis 1:26), He also made us male and female (Gen, 1:27). Though equal in all things, we are not the same. Our mere physical make-up radically influences how we experience and relate to the world and to each other.

Adam knew what it was to be human in relation to the animals. But he only knew what it was to be a man in relation to Eve. Certainly, the reverse is also true. But for a man, who comes from a woman’s body, who is largely raised and educated by women, yet whose body sets him apart, the cycle seems to begin with man defining who he is compared to woman. So when the feminine is undervalued he becomes domineering. When the feminine is over valued and a man’s role is seen as minimal or unnecessary, he becomes ineffectual and weak. Neither is healthy for either of the sexes. Accordingly, any reevaluation of what it is to be female will have an equal and opposite thrust in the understanding of what it is to be male. So all considerations must bear in mind not only how it will effect women, but how it will form our men.

A sign that used to hang in my parents room read, “The best gift a father can give his children is to love their mother.” It is also, I believe, the best recipe for raising noble sons. For only then will he see his proper relation to woman and this will naturally lead him to the most healthy understanding what it is to be confidently and authentically a man.

IN OTHER NEWS

Yesterday, in the Diocese of Cleveland, thousands of persons entering the church gathered at the Cleveland Convention Center for the Rite of Election with Bishop Lennon, an event far too large for the cathedral. Seventeen of these people were from Saint Clare. Pictured here are many of the catechumens and candidates with their godparents and sponsors from all parts of the diocese. These are all the adults who will be brought into full communion with Catholic Church this Easter Vigil. Please say a prayer for them and the people of your own diocese as they continue the final leg of their journey to the Eucharist this Easter!