AND I HATE HAVING TO DRIVE 6 BLOCKS TO GET TO A GAS STATION

Although we don’t know the exact day, this year we are celebrating the 185th anniversary of the first Mass celebrated within the city limits of the city of Akron.  That is not to say that there wasn’t perhaps a Mass celebrated in the area before this time but that this is the first known and recorded Mass.  

In 1808 all of Ohio was part of the Diocese of Kentucky where Bishop Benedict Joseph Flaget was the first bishop.  He had about 10 priests to serve this vast area.  Because of the growth of Catholics in Ohio, Dominican Father Edward D. Ferwick was named the first Bishop of the newly established Diocese of Cincinatti.  He undoubtedly sent priests to the area to minister.  They would travel from Canton through the woods and stay in people’s houses or even, from time to time, out in the open.  Mass was celebrated in taverns, log cabins, in public buildings, and non-Catholic churches.  Save for these visits, residents of Akron would have to travel to Canton, Doylestown or Cleveland for the sacraments.

Akron grew owing to the canal and this brought many Catholics to the area.  1833 is the year that we know for sure that a Mass was celebrated within the Akron city limits. The Rev. John Martin Henni who would later become the Archbishop of Milwaukee, came to say Mass in the log cabin of James McAllister, a local contractor.  This is the anniversary that we are celebrating.

The pastor in Doylestown, seeing that the number of Catholics was growing, purchased separate sacramental register books to record baptisms, confirmations and wedding taking place in Akron beginning in 1937.  Bishop Purcell, bishop of Cincinnati, visited the McAllister home again that home again that year and spoke to area residents about founding a parish that would serve the Akron and Cuyahoga Falls area and so the missionary parish of St. Vincent de Paul was founded, preceding the establishment of the Diocese of Cleveland by 10 years.

A Mass celebrating this history will take place at St. Vincent de Paul Parish (the mother church of Akron) on Thursday, September 27th at 7PM and you are invited to attend.

Most of the above information comes from Murray Powers’ book, “History of the Catholic Church in Summit County from Origin through ’76"

FRIDAY POTPOURRI: RECTORY HISTORY: STEP INTO MY OFFICE

One visits the offices by walking down a long sandstone walk boarded by flowers and azalea bushes that bloom beautifully in the spring.  Steps lead up to the arched front door of the rectory.  When I first arrived at the parish, the steel screen door was terribly rusted and a host of assorted and abandoned call boxes decorated the door frame.  One of my first official acts concerning the rectory was to clean this area up and make the house more inviting.

Everything electronic save for the doorbell was removed.  The thick, heavy wooden door was removed, sanded, stained, its hardware cleaned, and rehung.  Flags were hung on either side of the door; one the flag of the United States, the other the Vatican flag.  A priest friend who is did not approve of this touch looked at the Vatican flag and snidely comment, “What? Is the pope in residence?”  “No,” I responded dryly, “and neither is the president of the United States.”  It also makes a great marker when telling the pizza delivery guy where to drop off the pizzas.

Finding a new quality screen door was going to prove to be more difficult.  A shop was found that made special order screen doors.  The dimension were given to the man behind the counter immediately surmised, “So, you must live in West Akron.  We get a lot of strange doors from that part of town.”  Unfortunately the price he quoted was far too high to justify.  So were the doors we found through online sites.  Strangely enough, after making such a big fuss about the project, a good quality door was found at the local hardware store for a reasonable price.

The font entry was now ready.  The grounds crew had planted giant pots of flowers on either side of the door below the flags, and, at my sister’s insistence, geraniums bloomed from the cement planter at the second floor window over the door while verdant vines hung down softening the ornate stone arches. 

Just past that front door one finds himself in a small reception hall with a barreled ceiling with a dark, slightly ornate lighting fixture hanging from it.  This is the original office area and would be the first area indoors to experience my meddling.  Here, a picture of the pope, the bishop, the former pastor, and a composite of all the former parochial vicars were hung.  It was an act that felt a little exhilarating and, to be quite frank, a little sacrilegious to move the former pastor’s portrait over to where the former pastors were hung and replace the vacated space with my own image.  Finishing the job I winced at seeing my picture.  I have spent the rest of my time here studiously avoiding looking at it, the only time it requiring my attention is when a pope or a bishop changes.

     

To the right, the former pastor’s office, was now the office of the parish secretary and with her the parish records, various forms and envelopes and stationary of all kinds, an anachronistic typewriter, FAX machine, office supplies, mailboxes, and in general, anything that would not fit anywhere else.  Across the hall in what was the secretary’s office was now inhabited by the copy machine, copy paper, stapler, cutting board and all things copy machine related.  

It was announced that monies had been set aside in the previous year’s budget (before I arrived) to put drop ceilings in these rooms and that the workmen would be arriving within a week.  I probably overreacted but my abhorrence was real.  There are a few materials in modern architecture that I detest more than drop ceilings.  “Somebody call them immediately and tell them not to come!  Don’t let them anywhere near this house!  There will be no drop ceilings!”  I needn’t have been so dramatic.  They just shrugged and said, “Okay.” 

185 YEARS IS NOTHING TO SNEEZE AT

This is the logo for the 185th anniversary of the first known Mass celebrated within the city limits of Akron.  On September 27th at 7PM, the Feast of St. Vincent, there will be a Mass of Thanksgiving at St. Vincent Parish, the mother church of Catholic Akron, and you are invited.  At your parishes of the greater Akron area the weekend before and after you should see this logo.  

The purpose of this celebration is to give thanks for and celebrate our blessings and heritage, to ask for God's blessing for the future, to make people more aware of the Catholic presence in Akron, and to keep this event in mind as we approach the 190th and 200th anniversary.  If you can, please come participate in this event

FRIDAY POTPOURRI: PARISH HISTORY: NOT QUITE THE END OF AN ERA

It is a busy end of the year!  Apologies for no posts this week!

1965

The Second Vatican Council closes and in the next city over, a baby named John Anthony Valencheck was born at Barberton Citizen’s Hospital.  Forty three years later he would become the fifth pastor of St. Sebastian.

1968

Forty years had passed since the founding of the parish.  It had weathered many storms and stood up against crippling debt, one of the worst economic downturns in history, a word war, and a huge reduction in its boundaries, but it still stood out as a shining example of the very best in Catholic parishes.  Monsignor Zwisler was the mighty captain at the wheel for the entirety of those four decades, but now, at 80 years of age, it was time to retire and The Rev. Charles Byrider to be named the second pastor.

It is generally thought that this year marked the beginning of the Byrider era and in many ways it did.  But the influence of Monsignor Zwisler was far from over.  He would continue to live at the parish and his shadow of influence would continue.

HAPPY CATHOLIC ANNIVERSARY AKRON

While doing some research for a project concerning the upcoming 90th anniversary of St. Sebastian Parish, I came across this bit of information:  The first known Mass ever celebrated in the city of Akron was in a log cabin owned by James McAllister who was a contractor in the early years of the city.  The priest who celebrated the Mass was named the Rev. John Martin Henni.  He was born in Switzerland but was ordained a priest in the Diocese of Cincinnati of which this area was a part.  It would be a number of years yet before the Diocese of Cleveland would be established.  

One of his passions was to take care of the scattered Catholics in this part of the diocese which consisted largely of Germans and Irish.  It was in the year of 1833 that there is a record of him saying that first known Mass in that log cabin, four years before the mission church of St. Vincent was founded.  That makes this year the 185th anniversary of that Mass.

The pastors in this area are going to do something (yet to be determined) to mark this event.  It probably won’t be huge (the number 185, while significant, is not a number like 200) but in making it, hopefully we will be able to remember more significant anniversaries in the future.  If you have an idea on how to celebrate this event, please let me know (soon.)   

JULIE BILLIART SCHOOL AT ST. SEBASTIAN, AKRON

I have family who are public school teachers and they are not always kind about Catholic schools accusing them of accepting “typical students” while turning more challenging students away - particularly students who learn differently.  Now, I know there are some Catholic schools that do more.  For example, St. Adelbert has the Steps Program and other schools enroll students on a limited basis such as St. Francis de Sales.  But these wonderful programs were not meeting the great need.

Returning to school after Thanksgiving, I was telling the principal of the day school about this dilemma and how I wished we had the capability, space and resources to help these children and their families.  She said, “The principal from the Julie Billiart School in Lyndhurst is downstairs helping us with our accreditation.  You should talk to her.”  The Julie Billiart School (JB) is a Catholic school in Lyndhurst, Ohio founded by the Noter Dame Sisters that serves the population of students we had failed to serve.

I told Jodi Johnson, the principal, about my thoughts and her eyes widened.  “The school just decided that we should expand our mission and open new schools and we were looking for a way to do that!”

From there on it has been a rollercoaster of activity.  As soon as it got out that we were opening the school we were receiving phone calls asking when we would start enrolling.  (We didn’t even have a building yet.)  Numerous stories came out about how people moved from our area because they we didn’t have the resources that they wanted for their children.  It seemed we were on the right path.

There was lots of prayer and soul searching.  Many people stepped forward to help out.  Building were looked at.  Recognition from the state as well as the Catholic Church (no easy thing!) were sought.  Through it all we trusted both St. Julie and St; Sebastian (with a little extra help from St. Joseph when we were looking for a building.)  Every couple of weeks or so we would come up against a seemingly monumental and impenetrable stone wall and say, “That’s it!  We really tried.  But I guess it’s just no meant to be!  St. Julie and St. Sebastian, if you want this to go forward, you are going to have to do something!”  And I kid you not, the next day it was if the wall turned to wet tissue in a rainstorm and we marched ahead.

It may be years later with many interesting stories, blood, sweat, and tears - valiant work on the part of many hands, but this Tuesday we will open our doors to the first classes of K - 3 with the goal of being a K - 12 school in a few years.  If it is successful, it is hoped that it will be a string of schools helping children all over our diocese and beyond!  I am so thankful.  Please keep this project and all of its people in your prayers.

FRIDAY POTPOURRI: THE HISTORY OF ST. SEBASTIAN PARISH: PART I INSTALLMENT III (OF IV)

One more installment after this and we get to the founding of St. Sebastian Parish!

1907 saw Akron’s next Catholic parish established.  Annunciation formed and The Rev. R. A. Dowed had the first Mass in a frame building at the southeast corner of East Exchange and North Arlington Streets.

Akron continued to grow and prosper and was expanding outward toward the infirmary and began to surround it.  In 1915 the county asked the voters of Summit County to allow funds that were set aside for the upkeep of the infirmary to be used to move the infirmary elsewhere.  The measure was passed and in 1916 new property was purchased in Munroe Falls.  The land of the old infirmary was sold to Philip H. Schnieder of the Central Reality Company for just over $300,000 that same year.

In 1919, a year after the end of the First World War, St. Martha’s Parish was established as a division of the parish of St. Vincent.  That same year St. Paul’s was established, the first pastor being The Rev. James A. Hanley who was chaplain of the 165^th Infantry during the World War.

St. Peter’s Lithuanian came next whose tabernacle is now in chapel of the St. Julie Blliart School at St. Sebastian.  The Syrians organized their parish of St. Joseph in 1904.  St. John Slovak Parish was established in 1907 in St. Bernard’s chapel.  The Polish who began worshiping with the Slovaks at St. John Parish established the parish of St. Hedwig in 1910 with a Mass at St. Vincent, their last pastor, the Rev, Thaddeus Swirski, taking up residence at St. Sebastian when the parish closed.  Then a community of Hungarian Catholics met in the basement chapel of St. Bernard and established the parish of Sacred Heart in 1915.  It would be another 13 years before the next and final parish was founded in Akron.  

For a time, Akron was the fastest-growing city in America.  Its population exploded from 69,000 in 1910 to 208,000 in 1920. People came for jobs in the rubber factories from many places, especially from West Virginia and various parts of Europe thus explaining the number of nationality parishes. Almost one-third of those residents were immigrants and their children.  (Among the factory workers in the early 1920s was a young Clark Gable.)  Space was needed for this explosion of people and developers looked for land to develop.

The burgeoning city pushed westward and soon those areas once thought to be country became developed neighborhoods.   A trolley brought city folks out to homes at the fringes of the city.  The turnaround for the trolley heading west is what is now called Will Christy Park located in the eastern area of the present parish boundaries.  The land that was formally the County Infirmary was purchased by the Central Reality Company and began to be developed in earnest.

FRIDAY POTPOURRI: THE HISTORY OF ST. SEBASTIAN PARISH: PART I: INSTALLMENT I

Today we begin a new series on Friday Potpourri.  Inspired by current events in Schneider Park and the upcoming nonagintennial (90th) anniversary of the Parish of St. Sebastian, this space will be a history of the Parish beginning with a general understanding of the area and its Catholic roots before the parish was founded.  If you find anything that is incorrect or could be expanded upon, please let me know!  I want to have this project finished for next year.  Thanks!

Today's installment was made possible with the help of the St. Vincent website.

There was something peculiar about the man walking down the trail.  He was not like the men that had walked this trail for hundreds of years.  His clothes were different, his face was different, and his language was different.  His name was Etienne Brule and he was the first known non-native American man to take the trek down the most historic ten mile trail in American History.  This expedition took place sometime just before 1615, historically just a fraction of a moment ago.  The Indian portage, known now as Portage Path and which today marks the eastern limit of our parish boundaries, was an important crossing for the Native Americans between the Cuyahoga and Tuscarawas rivers and later became the impetus for the growth of Pennsylvania and the Ohio Valley.  It was possible to travel from the Great Lakes all the way down to the Gulf of Mexico except for this small trek on which they would have to portage their canoes and gear.  Today, large bronze arrowheads roughly mark out the location of this historic path along Portage Path Road.

With the signing of the McIntosh Treaty and a few years later the Treaty of Greenville, Portage Path became part of the boundary between the United States and the Indian Nations of the Northwest.  This boundary held from about 1785 to 1805, a mere 123 years before the founding of the Parish of Saint Sebastian.  The City of Akron, founded by Simon Perkins, would be founded in 1825.

The first Catholic Church in the area was St. Vincent de Paul established in 1837 as a missionary church.  At the time this area would have been part of the diocese of Cincinnati, so the founding of St. Vincent, our mother parish, predates the Diocese of Cleveland by ten years.  The first record of a Catholic priest visiting Akron was in 1833.  The Rev. John Martin Henni who would later become the Archbishop of Milwaukee, came to say Mass in the log cabin of James McAllister, a local contractor.  From then, when a priest was able to make it to the area, Mass was held in the old Dunn home on Green Street and other private residences of the Catholics that lived in the area.  

The first permanent Catholic ecclesial structure in Akron was begun in 1844 (the year the first telegraph is sent and the University of Notre Dame received its charter.)  It was made out of timber cut and hauled by members of the parish.  Completed in 1845 (the year Florida and Texas became states) the frame structure located on Green Street served as the church for the parish until the current church was constructed.

The foundation for the structure on West Market Street, with which we are familiar today, was laid February 18^th, 1864, a year before the Civil war was over.  Building was then suspended most probably due to a shortage of material and/or manpower owing to the war.   It is fascinating to ponder that the foundation of the building we drive by so quickly today was also seen by Civil War soldiers, who, during the war were probably fed on oats produced in Akron, were now coming home, either walking or riding on horseback, passing that stone foundation. Construction resumed in 1866 and finally reached its completion in 1867.

THEOLOGY ON TAP AKRON

Today is just more of a report on what happened in Catholic Akron last night.

We had our inaugural Theology on Tap Akron at the Thirsty Dog Brewery Co!  Theology on Tap is a discussion series for Catholic young adults and their friends, married and single, in their 20s and 30s. Goals: ... Provide adult-level updates on topics of current religious or cultural  interest.

It was sponsored by Thirsty Dog and St. Sebastian Parish and was chaired by Mr. Eric Eirmanne and the young adults of the area.  There are two such programs up toward Cleveland that regularly get about 100 people but I was warning them not to expect too much.  It was new to Akron, not the easiest place to find, and was a little different.

So the set up began.  Here is where one would register and get a ticket.  $5 covered the food provided and helped cover other costs such as the speaker and so forth.

It couldn't be all done in one room so this room was used for food and the bar.

And this rooms was set up for the talk.

Then the people started pouring in.  And pouring in.  And pouring in.  I was expecting (hoping for) 50 people.  In the end, there was about 150 people present.  It is nice to be wrong sometimes.

I get excited by nun friends.  I am so glad they were there!

Fr. G David Bline, classmate, amazing priest of the great parish of St. Francis de Sales gave the first ToTA presentation.  He was wonderful as always.  It was nice to see so many of his parishioners coming to support him.  

ToTA will continue as a program running out of St. Sebastian Parish but we are looking for parishes and Catholic organizations to sponsor nights.  As sponsor, your parish/organization will be present on advertising, there will be the opportunity to present materials of upcoming events at your place that those in attendance might find interesting (we let people know about our 5K, concerts, the Academy, and such) and be given a couple of minutes to speak about those events during the night.

Sponsorship is $500 and helps defray the cost of the food, keep ticket prices down, pays for the speaker, tip, advertising, and other costs.  If you cannot cover the cost of the whole evening, you might be paired with another parish/organization.

Congratulations folks!

See more HERE on Facebook.

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE FULLY ACCLIMATED TO BEING AN AKRON SEBASTIANITE

We have some seminarians living at St. Sebastian this summer.  One of them has rarely been south of 303 and so we have been introducing him to all that is Akron.  While doing so we thought of some things that will help you know of you are becoming a true Akronite as well as a dyed in the wool Sebastianite.  Here are some of the things with which we came up.  If you have any to add I would greatly appreciate it.

You have Akron legs.  You can walk around the neighborhood and not trip on the upheaved slabs that look as though we have just gone through three a major earthquakes.  For example, when someone trips you say, “You haven’t got your Akron legs yet.”

You are VERY careful when shoveling snow.

You can drive down Mull Avenue, the brick street that runs in front of parish, and know the secret path around all of the swells and waves of bricks so that you can go 35mph without destroying your car.

You know they used to skate in Forest Lodge Park and further you know that Forest Lodge Park is actually actually Elm Hill Park but you don’t care.

You know there are no Elm trees on Elmdale Avenue, in Elm Hill Park, or at Our Lady of the Elms.

You know exactly where to go if someone says, “Meet me at the brick parking lot,” and you know exactly what is meant by, “I heard it on the brick parking lot.”

You never hated LeBron James.

You have strong opinions about Catholic high schools.

You know the parish story about galoshes.  

You have a 50% chance of knowing how to play bridge or someone in your household knows how to play.

You know that between an old rusted piece of abandoned pipe and an ornamental lamp post, the one that will get hit by a car is the lamp post.

You prefer traffic circles to oddly designed five way stops.

You never realized that you realized that there are two identical statues of St. Mary on the parish grounds until someone points it out to you.

When you look up you are not terribly surprised to see a blimp.

If you want to come early or stay late at church you know better than to park in the undersized parking lot.

You refer to the local Acme store as Acme Number One.

You know where the devil strip is.

There is a 50% chance that you have something of Don Drum in your house.

If you see someone in the bell tower your first thought is, “The pastor must be trying to get away from it all,” not, “Is there someone up there with a rifle?”

MONDAY DIARY: ALMOST EXCRUCIATINGLY TRUE STORIES: DON'T MESS WITH AKRON WAITRESSES

In my defense, I have never been a witness to a burglary before.  It is nothing like the movies.  There's no drama, no threatening music, no creepy lighting, and it is a lot quicker.  So it was that it took me a long time to register what was happening.

Every Wednesday Fr. B and I get together for breakfast.  We jockey back and forth between two restaurants though why we do so I don't know - both of us clearly like the restaurant of this story more; the coffee cups never run dry, the service is fantastic, the food good, and the price just right for this cheap Slovenian.  (And they don't mind that we sip our coffee for about an hour as we catch up on important diocesan gossip.)

So there we were when this guy walks in and looks as though he is reading something on the cashier counter.  But something is just a bit off about the whole thing.

And we were!  We were being burgled and I was so stunned I couldn't even talk.  This only has happened to me two previous times.  Once was when I met Pope John Paul II and all I could do is mumble in tongues.  The other time was when my Mom and I ran into a black bear in the mountains of New York.  All I could do was point at it (with a camera IN MY HAND) and say, "Ba . . ba . . . ba"

It was fortunate for the cause of Justice, Truth, and Right that somebody yelled, "Hey!"  It was then that the most amazing thing happened.  You know how in super hero comics, people who are otherwise mild mannered citizens suddenly turn into phantasmagorical crime fighters?  It is not fake.  These things really happen.  One moment our waitresses, our sweet, kind, efficient waitresses are walking about taking orders, filling coffee cups, and clearing plates, the next millisecond they form a team that makes Charlie's Angels look like an elementary school cheerleading squad.

"Let's get 'em girls!" the leader shouted and the next thing you know coffee cups and order pads fall to the ground and every last waitress shot for the door and chased the burglar down the street. 

And they caught him, pinned him to the ground, retrieved the money, and kept him subdued until the police came.  When it was all over, the waitresses returned but you could tell they were still high on adrenaline.  It would have been a great day to paint the restaurant they had so much energy.  They came back in - No!  They swooped back in, patting each other on the back, cleaned up the mess, and started taking care of the patrons quickly and IN VERY LOUD VOICES.  

"ARE YOU OKAY?"

"I'LL GET YOU MORE COFFEE!"

"YOUR CHECK WILL BE RIGHT UP!"

It was all quite exciting.  Of course I couldn't wait to tell someone.

MONDAY DIARY: ALMOST EXCRUCIATINGLY TRUE STORIES: UGLY AND SAFE IN AKRON

So, this past Friday night Sebastian and I went on a long, long walk around West Akron and we came across this scene:

A car lost control somehow, veered off of the road, and hit a lamp post.

Our neighborhood has two different styles of lamp posts in them.  One may THINK that the differences are largely identified in the cartoon below:

 However, that cartoon does not tell you what the true difference is between the two posts.  The true difference between them is exemplified in the cartoon below:

Yes, somehow through some metaphysical reality, cars are drawn like magnets to the fancy posts and are repulsed by the thought of scratching their paint jobs by bothering to hit anything that might be considered less aesthetically pleasing.  Seriously.  For a few years I was developing a theory that it might be some gang or cult initiation ceremony.  "Now, if you want to be a member, you must pass the final test.  Find a fancy lamppost and hit it with your car."  No kidding.  The Mull/Hawkins roundabout is nothing but a bunch of black nubs.

I think there is a conspiracy afoot!

MONDAY DIARY: ALMOST EXCRUSIATINGLY TRUE STORIES: BUT WE DON'T FALL DOWN

My first summer at St. Sebastian I was in my room when I heard what sounded like a parade going past the parish.  The reason it sounded like a parade was because it was one.  It was the WABL (pronounced "wabble") parade - the West Akron Baseball League (or something close to the that.)  On a Saturday morning each summer the local baseball teams have a parade after which they have their big play off games.  The local high school band marches, the police and fire departments show off their equipment (and sirens) and the rest of the parade is basically kids walking or riding in trucks in their uniforms and throwing candy.  Lots and lots of candy.  Hail storms of candy. 

 

It is a very popular parade for people with a sweet tooth.

 

So every summer now I look forward to this grand event.

 

The boys teams can be a little dangerous though. . .

The girls though just as abundantly, but their tosses are kinder . . .

The little kids are the funniest.  They are way too polite to throw the candy but know they are not just to out and out hand it to you so they walk by and lay it at your feet like a tribute or as if they are planting seeds.

The adults get it though. 

Afterwords there was candy EVERYWHERE!  It was a child's dream come true.

 

I love being a pastor in West Akron!  This is a great town!



MONDAY DIARY: THE EVILS OF POOR PENMANSHIP

This is the story of how this past Friday I obtained the second most expensive object that I own.
This is the most expensive thing that I own. I told you this story a couple of years ago.

The story of how I obtained the second most expensive thing that I own began about half a year ago. There are people in my parish who sing in the Akron Symphony Orchestra Chorus. Occasionally they give me one of their complimentary tickets. Sometimes my parochial vicar goes with me, sometimes my sister, and sometimes I go all by myself. So at one of these concerts that I attended all by myself I was standing in the lobby at intermission and trying to stay out of the way. Somehow that place was in front of a table selling raffle tickets to raise funds for the chorus.

“This is a very nice rug isn’t it?” I turned around and looked at the rug and it was indeed a very nice rug. It was $4,000.00 worth of nice rug and so I said, "Yes, it is a very nice rug."

“Would you like to buy a ticket?” I did until he said that they were twenty dollars. “It sure would be swell of you. Tickets sales have been a little slow lately.”

Well what was I going to do? I got in for free for heaven’s sake and I do like to promote the arts. So I got out my twenty dollars, said goodbye to it and exchanged it for a ticket stub that promised fame and fortune if I should be so lucky.

Jump ahead six months to Friday last. I am at the Christmas pops concert and enjoying it immensely until I look at the program. The second half involves a sing-a-long.

I loathe sing-a-longs.

If I wanted to sing along, I would join the chorus. So I decided that I would quietly sneak out at intermission but ran into so many parishioners that by the time I could escape it was time for the second half to begin so I stayed.

To kick off the second half they brought out representatives of the corporate sponsors (one of which was my bank! Good going bank!) And just before they walked off they said, “We have one more bit of business to which we need to attend. Mr. Bank Person, would you please draw the winning ticket of the $4,000.00 rug?”

He did and handed to the speaker who said, “And the winner is . . . I knew this would happen. I can’t read it. Can you read it?”

Nobody wore their glasses so one person gave it their best shot. “Jooooooooooooooooohn Vaaaaaaaaalenskull. Anyway, it’s number 44. Please come to the table after the concert.”

“John Valenskull”? That’s almost “John Valencheck.” And I DID buy a ticket in the mid forties. And I DO have very poor penmanship (especially when I think the effort futile). I think I just won! Should I clap or make a Woohoo noise?

And then I thought, “Now there is the possibility that there really IS a John Valenskull who bought a ticket in the mid-forties. That could be very awkward.”

So I kept quiet.

But I DID sing with much gusto at the sing-a-long.

After the concert I went to the table and said, “I bought a ticket in the mid-forties, I have VERY poor penmanship, AND my name is John ValenCHECK, not SKULL. I would like to check and see if I am the winner.”

They produced the ticket and there indeed was my name: Rev. John Valencheck. There were congratulations all around and apologies: My apologies for not writing more neatly and their apologies for not having the foresight to have at least one person on stage with their glasses on.

So I walked through E. J. Thomas Hall with a giant rug on my shoulder. People would call out, “Hey! It’s number 44! Valenskull! Congratulations.” Most people were happy save for those that I accidently whapped with the rug.

I carried it half way across the University of Akron campus and stuffed into my car. At home Fr. Pfeiffer helped me put it down in the rectory chapel were nobody would walk on it. Nobody is going to walk on the second most expensive thing that I own even if it is a rug.

And that is the story of how I obtained the second most expensive thing that I own.

THE END

MONDAY DIARY: BREAKFAST TRUMPS THEOLOGY

My first Thanksgiving at St. Sebastian I drove past Snyder Park, the park one block west of the parish, on my way to the ecumenical service at St. Paul Episcopal. There were quite a few guys out walking their dogs on that brisk holiday morning and I remember thinking, “Now that looks like something enjoyable. I want to be one of those guys.”

Two years later I thought of that morning as I put Sebastian on his leash and started out for his walk. It was raining – hard – and cold and I laughed mirthlessly recalling that morning two Thanksgivings ago. Of course I was the only weirdo out there tromping through the mud and rain. But Sebastian was happy. At least I found my extra set of car keys that were in my raincoat pocket for the last six months.

Thanksgiving Day Mass is one of my favorite Masses of the year. It is well attended and the people who show up for this Mass seem to throw themselves into it a bit more than at just about any other Mass of the year.

This year, not only did we have our usual Thanksgiving Day Mass, we also hosted the community ecumenical prayer service. West Akron boasts the oldest, continual, ecumenical Thanksgiving prayer service in the State of Ohio. My first year here some of the other ministers were upset with me for not cancelling our Mass in lieu of this service and it was difficult for me to explain that we can’t just cancel a daily Mass even for something so worthy. This year it seemed there was an air of openness to our situation and graciously they allowed for a 15 time change in time in oder that it could be hosted at St. Sebastian. So after our Mass I invited our people to stay and then ran over to join the ministerial ecumenical breakfast already taking place in the rectory and being hosted by Fr. Pfeiffer.

The night before we worked with one of our parishioners who was taking a large part in making the breakfast possible. We took care of the mechanics, expanding the table, brining out chairs, setting up place settings and such and so. I had never been to one of these breakfasts because I was always saying Mass. Last year Fr. Pfeiffer attended for both of us and reported that it was a very simple breakfast. So we were going to run out and get bagels and make coffee. What did we know?

“Oh, that won’t do,” warned one of our parishioners. “You are able to do more so you should do more!” (Here is one of the admitted drawbacks of having a celebate clergy - we don't have someone to say "The people you are inviting are not bachelors! Feed the right!) So we tried to pull something together with the help of a person who often cooks for us in jams such as this and were able to pull off a simple but very nice breakfast. I was sure glad to see it anyway coming back from the Mass and joining them at the dining room table.

To be quite honest, we get along well but there always seems (to me anyway) to be a little tension in the room. Nothing hostile, just a bit of unsurity as to how to get along - which is precisely the benefit of having this every year. The elephant in the room is that we all are representatives of theologies and philosophies that in many ways contradict each other and this context is not one in which we could (or should) get into even friendly debates. Our job at the moment was to get along and to offer thanks on behalf of the community for all the gifts we have received from our God. So the elephants are left tied up in the parking lot.

It is quite exciting actually to be part of this unique gathering of representatives of the area. My prayer is that it goes a long way in helping bring understanding between all of us. If we can eat and pray together there is hope that if we cannot agree theologically and philosophically on certain matters, we can at least show that we can get along just the same.