MAKING SURE OUR ACTIONS MATCH OUR DESIRED OUTCOME

The current Church scandal is something that should inspire those who are appalled (and I hope you are) to become more devoted to the faith than ever.  Rather than taking the supposedly logical and seemingly legitimate route of declaring “the Church” hypocritical and walking away, it makes much more sense to see these horrific events as a sign that each individual person should be more devoted than ever to the Church and the most steadfast adherence to matters of faith than ever and this is why:

What we have seen and witnessed and many suffered through is NOT what happens when the faith is well practiced and Church law is attended to, it is what happens when the faith is NOT practiced and Church law is subverted at a time when far too many people have been content to have the both run on autopilot.  

In a similar vein, I am always amazed at how people think that just because their car is parked in a church parking lot that they can leave their car unlocked and their purse full of money on the front seat and that it should be Okay because it is on Church property.  I have not heard of a parish yet that has not experienced theft.  Church attracts sinners - some working at overcoming sin (that is hopefully most of us) and those who are looking for cover.  So if we want our parishes to be safe, we have to be vigilant and not leave the collection sitting in a pew, the candle boxes left unlocked, the payroll just sitting out on a desk.

The practice of the faith is just the same and from time to time, like an audit pointing out financial practices that have slipped, the practice of the faith needs constant renewal.  And when renewal has happened historically, it has always occurred when individual men and women have decided to take their faith seriously and live it actively and publicly.  

IF YOU DO NOT LIKE THE EVIL THAT SOME HAVE DONE IN THE CHURCH then do not give up on the right practice of faith for it is vehemently opposed to such things.  If you want such evil actions to spread and become more common, then abandon the faith which is one of the few organized and powerful voices in the world still standing against such things.  

But it needs you to live it.  The Kingdom of God exists in this world as “already/not-yet.”  It is already breaking into the world since Jesus Christ, but it will not be fully established until He comes again.  Until then, it exists where men and women of good faith live it.

HOW IS AN HONEST CATHOLIC TO VOTE?

It seems almost ever conversation these days ends with, “Father I want to ask you about the election.”  People are genuinely concerned more than I ever remember before.  It is the dirge constantly playing behind every conversation waiting to come to full volume.

Among many Catholics, there is a profound sadness.  Nobody is, and nobody has for quite some time fully represent us.  Like King David angering God by numbering his people and having to face one of three punishments, we always seems to be asking, not who will best lead us, but who will do the least amount of damage.

The Pope was asked about this conundrum and according to a CNS article he simply said that Catholics facing difficult political choices must study the issues, pray about the election and then vote according to their consciences.  He would never comment on a specific electoral campaign.  "The people are sovereign," he said. "Study the proposals well, pray and choose in conscience.”

So what is one to do?  The first is to be well formed.  It is not about what I may feel, what seems fair, or what I like.  We are a people of the Creed and that is something that we receive through faith in God in the Church.  We are formed by it, we do not form it. It informs and forms us and makes us one in faith.

The Catholic who has studied his faith at all knows that there are some things that far outweigh the other.  Issues about the economy are extremely important but it is dust on the scales when compared to the taking of the lives of the most vulnerable and innocent among us.  If the economy tanks, we may lose every penny we have a suffer terribly for it.  If we blindly allow the taking of innocent life as a right paid for by our taxes in order to have a better economy, then we have lost our very souls.  That has eternal consequences.  (See yesterday's post for resources.)

After being formed, we must be INformed.  “Study the proposals well,” says Pope Francis.  That does not mean turning up the volume when a political add is on T.V.  

Then pray whether you have made up your mind or not.  Someone else may need the prayer.  Do it seriously.  Make a holy hour.  Consider doing a fast of some kind.  The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops has a novena for the election.  Pray first and then vote.

If you have done all of these things, then rest assured that you have done all that you can do at this point.  Stay informed and look for the next opportunity to be involved.

GOD, JUST SO YOU KNOW THAT I KNOW: THIS WORLD HAS PROBLEMS

Here is something that I love about Scripture.  You can study it, pray it, go to lectures on it over and over and over, and STILL somebody can point out something that you never saw before.  The passages are compact but the are powerhouses of meaning for the attentive and persistent.  

So I had one of those moments with a passage that I thought I knew cold this last Tuesday and one of my priestly friends pointed out something I had never noticed.  Here is the passage from Matthew 8:5-10.

When he entered Capernaum,^* a centurion approached him and appealed to him, saying, “Lord, my servant is lying at home paralyzed, suffering dreadfully.” 

He said to him, “I will come and cure him.” 

The centurion said in reply,^* “Lord, I am not worthy to have you enter under my roof; only say the word and my servant will be healed. For I too am a person subject to authority, with soldiers subject to me. And I say to one, ‘Go,’ and he goes; and to another, ‘Come here,’ and he comes; and to my slave, ‘Do this,’ and he does it.”  

When Jesus heard this, he was amazed and said to those following him, “Amen, I say to you, in no one in Israel^* have I found such faith.

Here is the New to Me thing:  Notice (what is essentially) the prayer (ore request) of the centurion.  He presents the problem to Jesus:  “My servant is paralyzed, suffering greatly.”  He doesn’t say anything else.  Jesus is the One Who seems to gather Himself up to go do what seems to be expected of Him.  It is like someone coming to the rectory and saying, “My (insert relationship here) is sick.,” to which I would reply, “Hold on, let me get my oils and I’ll be with you.”

But the guy never says that he wants Jesus to go with Him.  He never says that he wants the guy to be healed.  In fact, he makes no blatant request of Jesus at all.  He simply presents Jesus with the problem and lets Him handle it the way He wants to.  It is of the centurion that Jesus says, “Amen, I say to you, in no one in Israel have I found such faith.”

I have written before about the dangers of using the word “that” in the petitions at Mass.  As soon as you put the word “that” in, God must jump through a hoop.  For example, “We pray for our political leaders THAT they may lead us in security and peace.”  What if the best thing in the world to happen is that they get thrown out by the collar of their Armani suits and replaced with better leaders?  Did God then not listen to our prayers?  Can we say that God isn’t acting among us?  While we were busy watching the hoop we expected Him to jump through, He may have been working miracles.

May I suggest the centurion’s prayer for your petition prayer.  Present the need or worry to God and let Him work is magic - er - miracle (you know what I mean.)  Don’t create a hoop through which He must jump.  Be open to surprise.  Maybe what you think needs to change doesn’t or doesn’t in the fashion you think that it should.  Maybe it is you that needs changed.  Who knows?  

So present the problem to the Lord.  Let Him deal with it.  He’s the expert after all.  That’s why He’s God.  It’s His job.  Perhaps just further ask for the wisdom and understanding to realize the outcome of the prayer.

WHEN CAN YOU CALL IT QUITS?

My general advice is stick with family.  You only get one that is recognized legally, socially, biologically, and every other -ally.  No matter how annoying, family is always family.

 

Unless it’s not.

 

Is there a time to walk away from family, or a friend, or even a spouse?  Or are we to stick it out no matter what?  If there is a line that once crossed makes it Okay to walk away?

 

The problem is that we are not all the same.  Every person is different.  Each has different strengths and weaknesses.  Others are more open to change while some just aren’t.  Situations vary.  So there is no magic formula into which you can plug a few numbers and know the answer nor is it as simple as Ann Lander’s constant advice, “Are you better off with or without this person?”

 

So there is Jesus, the perfect model.  He knew that Judas was going to betray Him.  He knew that he was a thief.  He loved him anyway and was thereby able to bring good from Judas’ evil action.

 

There are many persons we could site who did this.  One of my favorites is St. John of the Cross who was treated miserably by his family and fellow brothers in his order.  For what was done to him, if today it went to court, many of his confreres would be jailed.  But he loved them, stuck with them, and today his love is still transforming the Church.

 

But must we always stick it out?  Matthew 7:6, "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.”  Or Luke 13:27: "But he will reply, “I don't know you or where you come from. Away from me, all you evil doers!”  (I may be forcing the context a little, but I think there is a point to be made.)

 

A lot of discussion and discernment must take place with the appropriate persons.  But in the end it comes down to this:  The motivation must be love.

 

Did you find out that your spouse is a child molester?  It may be that love for your children may call you to part ways.

 

Is family pressure so great and your strength only so much that your faith is in danger of being snuffed out?  It may be that limiting exposure is necessary in order to preserve your loving relationship with God.

 

Is your spouse an alcoholic and not seeking help and they need waking up?  Would stepping away help them to realize what is happening to their life?  Can you do it in a loving way with the motivation of them finding healing?

 

Tricky, tricky questions.  As you can see, we could come up with a billion scenarios all with varying factors.  And there will always be people on both sides of the fence.  “Never, ever give up on anybody!”  and “How on God’s green earth could you suggest that somebody stay in that abusive situation?!” 

 

Prayer.  Discernment.  Consult.  And most importantly, find the loving motivation.

DID YOU THINK THAT THIS MEANT YOU WERE DONE?

Graduations abound at the moment.  Tonight is our 8^th grade graduation.  It is the culmination of the all of the years that the students have spent within the walls of St. Sebastian Parish School.  We write it all down on a piece of paper and hand it to them.  Basically it says that we have given them all we’ve got, they completed it satisfactorily, and now they don’t need this educational institution anymore.  It’s time for them to move on.

 

Graduation does not exist in the religious realm though sometimes it seems as though it does.  For example, a student will spend eight or more years in our programs learning about the faith at the end of which there is a grand ceremony at which they are confirmed and there is a party.  It kinda feels as though you are graduating from that program and now you are done with the course of studies.

 

But to think that way would be a tragedy.  It would be a tragedy in this way:  Two people fall in love.  They learn about each other.  They woo each other.  (Is that really the way woo is spelled?)  There is a proposal, a marriage ceremony, and a grand party.  Are they done?  Now that the couple has achieved marriage does that mean that the leaning, wooing, and growing love are now over?  Absolutely not.  Neither is it that when one is baptized, eucharized, or confirmarized (I made that up) is one done learning about, growing in, praying to, or being in the service of God.  It is not a completed course of studies from which you move on, it is a way of life into which you enter and are trusted to keep growing more deeply in love. 

 

You can graduate from a collected body of knowledge, you cannot graduate from a relationship with God.

 

Go forth in Christ.

CHANGE: FOR MORE THAN PARKING METERS AND BABIES

The author of “How Google Works” was interviewed on the radio yesterday.  The book tells about how Google stays on top of the market by constantly reinventing itself.  He gave several examples (only one can I remember – sorry!) of businesses and institutions that failed to be innovative and suffered because of it.  The one I remember is the post office.  Had they be been innovative and adaptive, according to the person who wrote the book, they would have realized that parcels are still unable to be sent person to person over the internet and would have switched from letters to focusing on packages along the lines of UPS and would have fared much better.

 

This seems like a perfectly reasonable assumption and there are truths about it.  We might even look back and think, “Of course!  Had they only . . .”  But it is one thing to look back and think, “If they’d only changed this one thing” as opposed to being on the other end, “What is the thing we have to change to deal with this unknown future?”

 

The Church suffers from the same thing.  It seems to have a general sense that it constantly needs to change in order to stay relevant in people’s lives, but it suffers from knowing exactly WHAT to change.  So we have tried all kinds of things.  Change the music, change the seating, change the words of the Mass, add dancing, change the teaching, change the preaching, change . . . well, you get the point.

 

I would contend that we have far too often changed the wrong thing.  The post office still needs to deliver things.  If it suddenly decided to start raising horses like it did during the pony express, it might be a really great gimmick, make all the press, even call us out of our homes to watch a parade of them go by, but it wouldn’t really help the bottom line of the post office.  The right thing has to be changed.

 

It is not necessarily the music or the vestments or the perfect seating arrangements that will make things better in the Church (though they can help) and it won’t even be changing our teachings.  Rather, it will be emphasizing those teaching that speak to people’s hearts in a particular age.  In what areas do our youth’s hearts ache today?  There is an angle of our beliefs already in our books and in our hearts that can speak to that.  You won’t speak to it simply by playing music louder and the priest wearing jeans at Mass.  But after showing them how the faith speaks to their hearts, you can then open the rest of the world to them.

MARK MY WORDS!

IF your town still has a newspaper, and IF you still get it, and IF on Sunday they still have the Parade Magazine (will someday I have to explain what a magazine was to kids?) this past weekend you would have seen an article about Mark Wahlberg.  The short article is under a weekly feature called, “Sunday With . . .”  In it, they interview a famous person and there is at least one question that they ask every week: “How do you spend Sunday?”

 

Week after week after week I read this feature paying particular attention if it is a person whose work I like, just hoping that one of them would say that they somehow gave thanks for their talent, their wealth, their notoriety, or the fact that anybody cares that what they do on Sunday.  But week after week after week it is usually something along the lines of, “We sleep in.  Then I make pancakes.  We lounge around the house or go shopping or to the zoo.”  Not even a “we help out in a soup kitchen.”  Sunday, for many, seems to be “Me Day.”  I don’t have to work so we spend time on ourselves.  On the one hand that is good.  (I try for some me time myself on Sunday if it is available.)  But there is not even a mention of, “and we say grace remembering that everything is a gift.”

 

Then there is Mr. Wahlberg, former crack-addict, prisoner, Calvin Klein model, rapper, current actor and father.  Here is how he describes his Sunday;

 

“If the kids are good, I’ll have doughnuts for them at 6:30 in the morning,” (Note: 6:30 in the morning – ready for his kids.  I have just started thinking about becoming functional at that time – he’s already got doughnuts for the kids and I have Mass!) “and I say, ‘You guys gotta let Mommy sleep in!”  DO YOU KNOW WHY HE DOES THIS?!  BECAUSE THEN: “I’ll go to church” (read: Mass) “at 7:30 and everybody will be eating breakfast when I come home.”  Nice right?  Hold on to your biretta friends for the next sentence.  “Then we’ll go to church again at 10:30. . .”

 

Okay, maybe he’s making up for some of his famous peers who forget to mention anything outside of themselves as a Sunday activity.  But still: he’s once again proven himself one of my heroes.  (If you hear that he kicks his dog or lets his kids eat Cheerios at Mass, please don’t tell me.  I need my heroes.)  But it just goes to show you how much good you can do.  He isn’t pictured waving a Vatican flag or preaching (apparently like I am) about what people should do if they consider themselves faithful, he was asked a question and he answered honestly.  It led to a second question by the interviewer, “Faith is obviously a big part of your life.”  Which, in retrospect is not a question but a statement.  But he answered none-the-less, “It’s the most important part of my life.”

 

There.  Very matter of fact.  No preaching (in the negative sense) and no theatrics.  And he did a world of good for Catholics that need a shot in the arm.  Thank you Mr. Wahlberg.  I hope more of us can follow your example.

(And we have dooughnut Sunday here.)

YES YOU CAN

If you want to make sure that your diet fails, start focusing on all the things you can’t have.  No desert for you.  Nothing from the candy dish.  Can’t have that second helping.  All those “no”s will wear your resolve down.  It gives what you can’t have more power over you and if this is a weakness already, there is the great temptation to fail.

Rather focus on what you can have.  You can have flatter stomach.  You can be healthier.  You can have more self control.  You can fit into your favorite clothes.  You can feel better about yourself.

 

Or you can have that candy bar.

 

Faith life is not much different.  A person can focus on all the desires that they have and the “can’t have that” attitude.  No sex outside of marriage.  Can’t get drunk.  Can’t miss Mass.  If you see faith as one giant “can’t”, it will become overbearing, a load too heavy to carry.

 

Rather focus on what faith gives you.  Freedom from the slavery to sin, the freedom to become the best version of yourself.  Freedom from the consequences of sin (diseases, unplanned pregnancy, drunk driving accidents, hangovers . . .), sins that have momentary pleasures and lifelong consequences.  You can have a deeper relationship with God.  You can have better relationships with your loved ones.  You don’t have to be angry, secretive, or anxious.  And you do not have to be afraid of death.

 

Or you can walk out of the store knowing they gave you too much change.

RANT - COUNTER RANT: FAITH SEEKING DESTRUCTION

Religion causes violence. At least extremism in religion causes violence. So says an author to a letter to the editor in a recently. It was in response to the decision not to have any type of overtly religious overtones to the 9/11 remembrance. You may recall the brouhaha over the metal “cross” also. He reminded us that the atrocities in Nazi Germany during World War II were largely committed by baptized men.

I take umbrage.

He makes a direct correlation between the faith a person says he has and what he ends up doing. (I drank milk today, it must be a direct cause of my being baptized.) In some cases this correlation may be correct. It is not always the case however. When I am short with someone on the phone, it is not because I am a baptized practicing Christian; it is because at the moment I have fallen short of being a Christian.

While it may be true that extremism in certain faiths may lead to deadly deeds, one has only to look at Christ to see what extreme Christianity really looks like. It is a laying down of one’s life, it is absolute non-violence, it is the radical choosing of the good of the other. When a person uses the name of Christ and outlines God’s mission as one that causes death or fear or pain, it is exactly in those moments that people are NOT practicing radical Christianity. There may be the façade of such but it is only a veneer.

It is true that Christianity is a powerful tool and can be manipulated by strong leaders to make uncritical people act in direct contrast to what Christianity is supposed to stand for. But more importantly it is a powerful tool for combating that very thing also. It may also be true that some faiths and distorted faiths may lead to evil deeds in the extreme. But not having a faith is definitely no guarantee that there will be no evil either. In fact, I would argue, it is far riskier.

THE TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUTH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH SO HELP ME GOD

There is a tendency within humans to want to worship with like-minded people. There is a higher comfort level when similar beliefs unite to be a worshiping community. So naturally flowing from that is a penchant to share our thoughts and beliefs in order to win people over to our way of thinking. In the Catholic world we sometimes see this as a good. We believe that the fullness of truth resides in the Catholic Church (naturally enough) and so we share the faith with others hoping to bring them into the fold.

There is also a way in which this is not good. It follows two extremes and is equally unhealthy at either end. The first is the tendency to be stricter in teaching than the Church. It is one thing to have a stricter sense of personal piety and belief than the Church in general, it is another to force it on others placing “heavy burdens” on people’s backs. It leads to a “you must do it this way or you are not a real Catholic” mentality that can destroy the life of faith in others. It is hard to fight. The other person looks like they are doing something so much holier than others how can they be wrong? But it can lead to a disheartening of a believer who cannot live up to what the narrower-than-the-Church person demands, it deprives legitimate expression of the faith in some, and make still others who are well on the Catholic playing field feel like outsiders. It can appear severe enough that a seeker may see the Church expressed in this person and think, “I don’t see fullness truth here. I don’t want to be a part of that.”

At the other extreme are those who are less strict than the Church. Rather than carving out something on the Catholic playing field and declaring that small portion “true belief,” these take something off of the playing field and present it as true faith. “I know the Church teaches this, but would Jesus really want this? Forget feeling poorly about this! Do it! God will understand!” The danger, of course, is leading someone astray – taking them away from truth and living something that could harm them or others spiritually, mentally, or physically. It can appear so wishy-washy that a seeker may see the Church expressed in this person and think, “I don’t see truth there – there’s nothing to believe in. I don’t want to be a part of that.”

Honesty demands that we present the entire playing field and only that so that those with particular callings and charisms can know that they can have a legitimate home in the Catholic Church and others can know what is legitimately taught as truth and that which is not. Only then can they make proper decisions about their faith life. Everything else is in some way a delusion.

I'M GOING TO CALL YOUR MOTHER

I grew up in a small city we were either related or knew most of the people in town. It was like the Kennedy Compound writ large and without any of the extravagance. It made getting into trouble very difficult. One day getting off of the school bus I ran out into the street or some stupid thing after which there was a short two block walk home. Mom was at the sink washing lettuce for dinner. “Do you have something to tell me?” she asked.

“No,” came the innocent sounding response.

“Are you sure?”

“I don’t think so.”

“What if I told you I got four phone calls since you got off the bus?”

“OH! THAT . . .”

This is one of the reasons I became a priest. It would be impossible for me to get away with anything anyway.

Sometimes it was hard living in such a close knit community, but it kept a lot of us out of a lot of trouble. (Side note – if you were not getting into any trouble it was actually kind of nice. Anybody see any correlation between those orders that welcomed the Vatican visitation and those that scorned it? But I digress . . .)

It was pointed out recently that most of our community safeguards are gone. We are more and more on our own. “Official” safeguards are all but useless. What word can’t you hear on television or what body parts can’t you see being used in graphic ways? The answers to both questions can be counted on the fingers of one hand. Neighborhoods are more fractioned. Way too often people do not know their neighbors let alone well enough to call and say, “I saw you child kicking Mrs. Longbottom’s trashcan.”

From the extreme of children being spanked at school and coming home and being spanked again because you did something that made a teacher spank you, we seem to be at the opposite end wherein if my kid did anything wrong, it is YOUR fault.

But even as adults we are more inclined to speak poorly about someone with poor taste than about their lax morals, a foul mouth, unfounded criticism of the faith, the watching of movies and television programs that are not very edifying to the soul – and if one does speak up they are labeled as condemnatory, strange, or prudish.

The safeguards are, in large part, gone. Being Christian, and I might add especially being Catholic, can no longer be done on autopilot. It takes the development of all the gifts of your confirmation – working them out as you do your muscles, to be Christian. You are needed to actively live your faith. You are needed to be a symbol – a sign post of the faith that others might notice and find hope for being a person of faith. This is what is needed – the replowing of the fields until the tide of faith rises once again and societal safeguards make it easier for us to live the faith as community.

ARE YOU COOKING SAINTS IN YOUR KITCHEN?

There are exceptions to the rule of course but the primary place where the faith is handed on is not in Church or PSR/CCD or in the day school of your parish. The primary place where faith is passed on is the domestic church – in the home. It is modeled and nourished and directed at the parish, but it is passed on in the home. It is the same thing with math. If parents do not place some amount of importance on math and grades then there is nothing a teacher can do to force a kid to learn. If faith is not important in the place where they eat, sleep, and be family, it is rare that an outside influence will bring them to faith and God.

So how does your home stack up as a domestic church?

1. Could you be caught in prayer in your home?
2. Do those who live in your house ever pray together – even grace? Do the heads of the house offer blessings?
3. Are Christian/Catholic ideals in manner, speech, and action upheld, fostered and honored?
4. Is Mass and regular confession a priority in scheduling?
5. Do images, shows, stories, or any other manner of media invited into your living room through television, computers, and other electronic or print media noble or at least not scandalous?
6. Are the poor served in some fashion from your home? (For example donations to charitable organizations etc.)
7. Is the liturgical calendar celebrated in your home in anyway? (For example – does Christmas really seem Christ centered? Do you recognize your feast day?)
8. Is the faith ever discussed (even the weekend’s homily)?
9. Does your house show any sign of housing a people of faith? (For example – is there a crucifix well displayed and honored or do you have a holy water font?)
10. Has your house been blessed or given a patron?
11. Are there resources for learning or being inspired about the faith? Do you a book blessings and use it?
12. Is your home a place of love and joy?

Some of these in some places these are more easily achieved than others. What does one do in a home of mixed religion for example? This may not be a complete list but is a start. You will come up with more. There is an ideal atmosphere in which faith grows just like there are perfect conditions for plants to grow and we are called upon to do our best to achieve them.

MONDAY DIARY - UNTIL WE HAVE FACES

Last night Fr. Pf and I went to the Blossom Music Festival to hear the Cleveland Orchestra play Bolero otherwise known as the fifteen minute snare drum solo and crescendo – known to most people over 40 as the piece used in the movie "Ten." It was cold and threatening rain so we were able to get seats pretty close to the orchestra. “Wow,” Father said closely mimicking the C. S. Lewis book, “They have faces. I usually only see them as white jackets from a great distance.”

We were close enough that we could hear page turns and people taking breathes – even the soloists who were playing string instruments. It was if they were part of the instrument and they needed to breathe for it. It was neat to see so closely some of the world’s greatest musicians playing some of my favorite pieces. Our seats were eye level with their shoes and I was thinking that being the world’s best they could at least do with better socks.

They also performed selections from Carmen. Even if you are unfamiliar with opera in general you know at least some of this piece – especially the Song of the Toreador. According to the program notes when George Bizet premiered this piece it was an absolute flop. But that was due more to the audience not receiving what they expected than it not being a good piece. To put it mildly they went expecting Bugs Bunny but they got Henry V – a far better piece for which they were wholly unprepared. Three months later Bizet died thinking Carmen one of the worst operatic disasters in history instead of what it is: one of the most widely known and loved pieces of opera ever.

He was not alone. This happened quite a bit throughout history. Swan Lake was an unmitigated disaster when it was first produced. Not till after the death of the composer did it become the icon of ballet that it is today. And so it goes with art, books, and ideas, discoveries, and efforts of all kinds.

I think about parents teaching the faith to their children. Teach and desire it as they might some kids wander astray. That does not mean that what you give them will not bear fruit. I think of my Dad. He wanted nothing of Church or God his whole life. How that must break a mother’s heart. In fact, it was not until he was not far from his death bed that he took to prayer and sacraments. But that might not have been the case had his parents not laid some sort of groundwork. Would I have had the environment to become a priest had he not been baptized and confirmed as a youngster – marrying a Catholic woman and being married in the Church? Two generations later those efforts resulted in a vocation. Whoda thunk it?

Do not despair your efforts at bringing God into the world. Martyrs never experience their influence on the world in this life. Keep true to the calling, stay true to the course, your single life may influence more people than you can imagine in your lifetime.

GUEST BLOG - WHERE CHARITY AND LOVE PREVAIL

C. is our guest blogger today. Thanks C.! I'll enjoy my day off and I'm sure people will enjoy your post!

"THERE GOD IS EVER FOUND"

Several months ago I attended a meeting held by a local apologetics society. I remember shaking the moderator’s hand when it was over and smirking as I told him he was a brave man. The moderator was a pillar of well-formed faith, but this meeting had attracted just about every possible caricature of a Catholic.

There was a middle-aged woman who told us all the wonderful things a New Age nun was teaching her: something about secrets written in Sanskrit and how wind and sand talk to us. Another guy was there with his son and was clearly perturbed about recent scandals in the Church and despite his agitation, was there sincerely seeking faith.

Sitting directly across the table from me was a guy who really knew his stuff! This guy not only knew his faith well, but he also had a lot of secular knowledge that supported the Faith (I was particularly impressed that he knew Nietzsche died in a madhouse.) But every time this guy started to speak, you could feel the tension rise in the room. He didn’t share the Faith…he didn’t present the Faith…he bludgeoned you with it!

I think one of the biggest mistakes faithful, well formed Catholics make it that we think that if we don’t defend the Faith like a bazooka to the face that somehow we are watering it down. There is a difference between zeal and defensiveness.

I remember searching for the fullness of the Faith years ago and even though I was desperate to know the Truth, I was horrified that someone might actually tell me. God was good enough to reveal the Faith to me in chunks that I could deal with, understand, and accept and he gave me time to let my faith grow roots. Now that I have the answers I longed for and am so jazzed about it, sometimes I forget how patient God was with me and I find myself losing my temper as I try and CRAM the Truth down a stubborn person’s throat.

I read a great letter to the editor in This Rock magazine last summer from a “chastened apologist” and it really struck a chord with me. He said he had three rules for doing battle:

1) Stand up. State the truth clearly and dispassionately. Shut up and sit down.


2) Realize the only weapon the Christian possesses is the cross. It is not to be wielded against your opponent. It is to be crawled up on.

3) Live a clean life.

“If you do this, the truth will do the rest. The ontological reality is that all men’s hearts were made for the truth. The truth does not belong to you; it belongs to God, so at best you are a conduit.”

There are situations that call for a little extra zeal, but in general, this guy’s advice works for me. When I must defend the Faith, I try to approach everyone with a mother’s heart and this attitude is almost universally accepted. If you really want to win people over, be there for them when they have problems – your words will carry weight in their minds AND hearts.

I was so impressed with the disgruntled father and son team at that apologetics discussion because I knew if I felt the way they did, this meeting would be the last place I would go. I’m sure they were overwhelmed when it was through. I approached the dad and warmly shook his hand and smiled and said, “I hope you find what you are looking for.” His scowling face turned positively angelic.

Jesus did not give us the cross to bash people over the head with it. We have to ask, “Would I listen to me? Would I be attracted to someone who behaves like I do?” If you want to convey the truths of the Faith in a way that really “seals the deal”, be clear, be gentle, and point people in the direction of resources that can help them live a Godly life. We need to have that strong, uncompromising, joyful, charitable attitude that makes people say, “I want what she’s got!”

THIS YEAR INVITE OTHERS TO VISIT YOU IN STATE

I was on a walk around St. Sebastian the other night with a person who often guest blogs here (and will again be doing so soon) and we were talking about faith and the Church. She posed the question as to why certain topics are not preached about in general very often. We came up with the list of possible reasons why. They were all reasonable and defendable. One of the reasons was that it is assumed that people who show up at Mass know about many of the topics already. “No we don’t!” she protested and promised to guest blog on that topic some day soon.

But after we were done laying out the topics she said something that shook me up quite a bit. We were discussing about how some topics need to be brought up with tact and understanding lest you alienate the very people you wish to bring to truth when she asked, “Do you think that everybody who comes to Mass and receives Holy Communion is in a state of grace?” I had to admit that I had a sneaky suspicion that the state of grace was not a universal state. “If you could see the state of the souls of the people to whom you were given the responsibility preach, do you think you would preach with greater conviction than you do?”

I stopped dead in my tracks. I could not move from that spot in the conversation or down the side walk. If, like a doctor, what was ailing the Body of Christ could be physically seen, how differently might the message be? For that matter, if you could see that about anybody you ran into, if you could see their hurts and the sins that are clung to in the misguided effort to make the hurt go away, how much more eagerly might any of us speak out, proclaim healing to the nations? Or to your Mom? Or to your son? Or to your best friend or coworker? That we are mostly blind to the state of another’s soul does not mean that problems are not there but that we can choose to believe that they are not there.

In a way we can see it. How many people do you know who are simply not happy? They engage in repeated activities that promise great relief and rewards and in the end are left sad and dry? I have a lot of respect for the person mentioned above for she risks in order to bring others into a state of meaning, of hope, and of grace. From listening to her there are generally two steps that work in what is essentially evangelization. The first is that you listen and let the other know that you care about them. The second is when the opportunity seems right you say, “Well here’s is what works for me.” Though this method she has adopted many spiritual children and expanded the message of the Cross and Resurrection.

What does not work is this: I remember once being on the bus as a kid with my Mother and a man was steadily moving down the aisle seat by seat and proselytizing by saying, “Are you saved? Do you know you are going to hell?” Needless to say nobody wanted to listen to him and he made no converts.

Priests cannot evangelize well. There is a lot that comes with the collar and it can be a overpowering to one who is nervous about the faith already. Further priests are not in your home, your work place, your school, or gathering place. He can’t be. But you are there. You can bring the message. If you saw a bleeding arm you would have the compassion to assist the person in distress. The soul is more important than the arm. If you could see the state you would probably rush to help them also. But you can come to see the effects of not striving for grace by coming to know and love those around you. Then when there seems to be an opening in the wall, there is the chance to say, “Do you know what works for me?”

TO LIKE AND BE LIKED - TO LOVE AND RISK NOT BEING LOVED

Knowing that I would probably need a day off from the computer after Easter, C. has graciously composed this guest blog for our edification on this Easter Wednesday.

There is nothing more crippling to the Christian message than the thought, “Please like me!” How many times has it you kept you quiet when you should speak?

I received a life-altering ray of light while surfing channels a few years ago. Mother Angelica was explaining the concept of “human respect”, how Jesus didn’t have it and neither should we. It suddenly dawned on me that my greatest deterrent to talking about my faith was my desire to be liked. The desire to make the message somehow “cool” was making me into pathetic mute. This little gram of understanding liberated me completely, and I began talking about my faith when the situation demanded it, and I didn’t care about the consequences. The results have been amazingly positive. My greatest unfounded fear was that talking about the hard issues courageously was going to make me hated, and I am still prepared for that. But to my surprise, I have been showered in love and gratitude.

Great opportunities are missed by fearing the wrath of unreceptive ears. Don’t be afraid of the angry people. They’re not so far away as you think. I used to flip past EWTN as quickly as possible for fear I might hear something challenging that I didn’t want to hear. I remember that subtle desire to think that those priests and nuns were really shams, then I wouldn’t have to feel so guilty about my own faults. Bishop Sheen once said that passion is a force and it has to choose a direction. I know from experience that what looks like anger is really fear of the message and its implications. Understanding can change fear into loving acceptance, but if we don’t have the courage to lead people to understanding, then were losing valuable members of the team, people who can launch their passion in the direction of Truth rather than rebellion. Anger and attitude are easy. The humble consideration of, “Maybe I’m wrong” is an act of the will that is hard to come by, but the grace to do that has made several 180 degree turns in my life. If we Christians “in the know” don’t lead others to that, who will?

How many bowls of homiletic porridge have been offered to the god of being liked? Listen, all you religious out there: if getting us to like you is your mission, mission accomplished! We’re falling all over ourselves liking you. But is that your mission? It’s good to educate AND be engaging, but which is your real goal? I think sometimes priests make the same modern mistake that some parents do: they want to be their kid’s pal rather than their parent. Your position is so much more powerful than “pal”! The dignity of the collar, the disinterested love, even a holy detachment, they fill us with awe of something greater and more powerful than that! There’s a time and a place for “pal” just not in the context of the sacraments. Don’t be afraid to upset us. If you are going to deliver the message authentically, you like St. Paul are going to be “disturbers of the peace”. Bishop Lennon recently reiterated that parents need to be the primary catechists of their children. He’s right. 100%. The only reason I persevere in the faith is because of my parents. But I fear he might just as well have said, “Let them eat cake.” We can’t give what we never received. It’s up to you in the pulpit to re-catechize us.

When I was looking of for the fullness of my faith, I was so skittish I could barely get near the very message I sought. I remember reading about St. Pio (not a subtle guy) criticizing immodest dress, and it was like a flamethrower in the face. At the time I was a poor little fat girl who suddenly whipped herself into shape and thought the best way to celebrate this fact was to dress like a hooker. Can you imagine my horror of any talk of modesty?! I wanted the message so badly, but I was as afraid of it as a vampire of holy water. Just because I wanted the message doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have hissed at you if you tried to deliver it. I didn’t “like” St. Pio for what he said, but I needed to hear it. Now I know that he also said, “Pray, hope, and don’t worry” and “Be sweet and loveable in everything”. Like all things Catholic, it is not either/or but both/and. It’s not a choice between gentle and direct. We need both.

Truth be told, I love Mother Angelica and Fr. Corapi but I STILL am not comfortable with what they say. I watch them like I watch a horror movie, peeking between my fingers lest I see something I don’t like. But the only truly life-altering messages I ever got came from them. Frankly I think they are improving with age, getting mellow like a fine wine. Mother has slowed down, and Fr. is getting grey. The message is clear as ever, but it is more of a roaring furnace of charity than a flamethrower. That’s my idea of the perfect delivery. It works for me every time. None of us are called to be tyrants. Christ did not give us the cross to bash people over the head with it. But every man is called to a father and every woman a mother, either literally or spiritually, and if we don’t want our kids to end up in prison, we’ve got to be clear on how to live a good Christian life. Our kids aren’t always going to “like” us, but that’s not our goal. Our goal is to get them to heaven, and for that they are going to more than like us, they will love us.